I Feel So Bad

I feel just awful that I haven't called anyone except for my parents during the Christmastime. I haven't even called to Brad. I had been so crazy busy that it was impossible to find time to call and now I feel just awful it's taken so long for me to call him. I always think about it when it's late at night when I'm finally winding down.

Jackson and I had a pretty relaxing day. I went off for a few hours to Target and Walmart before Lee went to work. Then I cleaned the bedroom and house like crazy. I had done quite a bit already but our bedroom was a disaster. I also started up the laundry again. I swear laundry is never ending and drives me nuts. Jackson and I laid down around 4:30 and eventually we both took a late nap. He woke up around 7. He asked me for a Coke, no beans and rice. haha That means he wants to eat at the restaurant. We actually left the house at 8:30 to go eat. He was wide awake so it wasn't so bad.

We had a fabulous time. I truly adore the people who work there. He loves Hector like crazy and has a new found like for Tomas. It was so cute. He was so good and so happy to see his daddy. He told Hector he wanted chicken, rice and no beans. He knows what he wants. I was watching the Giants/Patriot game while I was there. I had been watching it at home. Man I wanted the Giants to pull it off. I hate the Patriots and wanted their season to not be perfect. So much for that.

Little man and I finally went home after he went through the place talking to everyone, Tomas, Juan, Bonnie, Zindy, etc. He and I got home around 10:30. He just fell asleep next to me while watching the Lake House with me. He's so sweet. I love him to pieces. I miss Mackenzie like crazy right now. Everyone asked where she was tonight. I told them she was at her grandparents house. It's not the same if she's not there with us.

My sleep is all out of whack. I haven't been getting enough sleep lately and I just keep going and going. I want to go to sleep now but I feel like I'm going to miss something. It's an odd feeling. What could I really be missing? The moon? Seriously.

Oh... I finally figured out how to convert my dvd videos to .vro files. I even tested one and uploaded it to youtube. It worked but since I was using a trial version it has a watermark all over the video. I'm going to bite the bullet and pay the itty bitty fee for the program. I just need to find one that I can edit the video and add writing, etc. on the end or beginning. Oh well. I figure that out before long.

So long and farewell. Until we meet again! (yes, I'm loosing it!)

Christmas

Man I can't believe Christmas if finally over. I'm slap worn out. The kids and I went non-stop until today. Lee had to work on Christmas eve so Mackenzie, Jackson and I went up to the restaurant to eat. It was pretty much the only way for us to see him. But before we went I went to Walmart to get the new DVD Camcorder I had my eye on. Lee called me from the restaurant and told me to go and get me a present. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about but then he gave hints and I knew that he wanted me to go and get it. I'm so glad because I really wanted it to video tape the kids at Christmas. Especially because this is the first year Jackson really understands Christmas.

The kids and I got home and were so tired. We all curled up in my bed and Mackenzie kept promising me that I would wake her up when Lee got home so we could open presents. I told her I would. Jackson was up for a little bit more and he kept saying "you wake me up when daddy gets home?". I assured him over and over again that I would. He eventually passed out. Once they were sound asleep I got a call from Lee saying he was on his way home. This was around 9:45 and I went ahead and went outside to start putting together the Razor Pocket Mod scooter and Power Wheels Ford 150. Lee pulled up when I was almost finished with the scooter.

He came and asked me if I wanted my Christmas present now and I told him no because I was really mad b/c we agreed no presents. He brought me a bag any way from his car. I look in it and it has an assortment of strange fudge from Kilwins. Lee is looking at me telling me that he knews how much I liked fudge and it wasn't anything I liked. I'm just smiling and then I notice a bottle of perfume. I'm looking at it strangely and Lee looks at me and says "remember this perfume? it's the one you pointed out and said you really wanted. Wait, don't open the box if you don't want it, it cost $100". I'm thinking to myself I did not want this perfume and I've never even heard of it before. Is his crazy? But at the same time last year he remembered me pointing to a watch and saying I liked it and he found it and bought it for me.

I am smiling this huge goofy smile trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the gift but I lose it and just starting laughing saying "I never said I liked this perfume, I've never even heard of it". Then the starts laughing telling me that this wasn't my real present. That the cologne was a gift from one of his employees and the strange fudge came from Kilwins as a treat for the managers. I have to admit he got me good. I'm so relieved that he didn't spend a fortune on perfume that I didn't want.

He brings me my real gift. This man does good every single gift he has ever given me. It is a gift certificate to Serenity by the Sea spa at Sandestin. Oh my gosh! It's for an hour massage, facial, mani, pedi, and body polish. Man oh man I'll be in heaven. I better do it before I get pregnant again.

So... back to Christmas. We go inside and get the kids up. Mackenzie was so tired but got up anyway. Jackson clung to me. Mackenzie opened up her gifts and was so excited. I saved the best two for last. She opened up the MP3 player and was so excited. She wanted to put songs on it but already had. She was over the top. Then the next gift was the big enchilada. She opens the gift and says she knows what it is. It is a laptop box. I tell her that she knew that we were selling them on ebay and I didn't know if we had enough left for her and that we didn't have enough left. That it's just the box. She sit for a few seconds and says "that's okay mama, I can put my toys in the box". What a sweet and amazing girl. I couldn't stand it and tell her to go get her computer from our desk. She started doing a little dance. She was so happy and all the stress I had put on myself for Christmas was worth it.

Jackson didn't want to open any gifts until Lee opened up one for him and it was a digital picture frame with shark pictures I had put on it. Lee plugged it in and Jackson was mesmerized. He wanted to sleep with it. He didn't open up anything else.

We go to bed and I slip out and put out the gifts. Mackenzie wakes me up at 8:30. She tells me santa came. I'm dead asleep but try to get Jackson up. when I said santa came he shot up. I tell Mackenzie she shouldn't have gone in the den without us. We walk in there and she starts yelling "I didn't even see this coming" about her scooter. She totally missed it when she snuck in the den earlier. I was so happy for her. Santa didn't bring a lot of items, but the really big items for each, crocs for both, stocking, and 2 toys. I didn't want to go over board yet again. I do it every year and this year was perfect and I think they enjoyed it more.

They loved everything. It made me so happy to see them. It was raining all day and the kids couldn't go out and play with their new vehicles. We finally took them out and Mackenzie just took off on the motorized scooter. Jackson had no problems driving it or putting it in reverse. We were all out there and having a good time. It was cold but a blast.

We then all watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. That movie is so funny no matter how many times you watch it. I love it! We took it easy the rest of the night. The next morning though we got up and started cleaning. Mom, dad and Elizabeth were coming to town. I had already cleaned the house pretty good before Christmas but the kids destroyed it by Wednesday. We had such a good time with my parents and Elizabeth. We went out to dinner at Outback and all I can say is that it was the best time I think we've ever had together. It was quite funny and we were laughing, no howling, so loud that people at the bar were trying to look over at our table. It was a tad embarrasing but you just had to be there mom made a funny. A hysterical funny. Only if you know my parents would you get it.

I'm glad my parents got to visit us. This was the first year of my life not being at their house on Christmas eve. Jackson loved seeing them and so much for my mom worrying that Jackson wouldn't know who she is. He loved them to pieces. Mackenzie went back with my parents until Tuesday and he was so sad. He kept saying that Kenzie and Grandmama and Grandaddy left him. Awwww

So now I'm exhausted. I need to catch up on my sleep and my house work. I had a great Christmas and the kids did too. I'm so thankful for everything we have.

Busy Busy Busy with Birthdays

I'm so furious right now. I just typed out most of the post and went to do something and Jackson hit the delete button. I lost everything. Ugh. So here I go again.

So Tuesday was Lee's birthday. He had to work on his birthday which sucked. I decided that the kids and I would surprise him at his restaurant that night. I picked up Mackenzie from school and we went to Publix to do some bargain shopping and order balloons. Mackenzie had decided to get Lee slippers for his birthday. For two days she asked me to take her to get him slippers and what size he wears. We go to Walmart and she carefully picks out the a pair of slippers after meticulously going through all of the different styles looking for his size. And let me tell you it's hard finding size 13 slippers at Walmart. She then went and spent time picking out a bag to put the gifts in. She had also made him some gifts at school.

We pick up Jackson from Candy's house and head over to Publix to get the balloons. Jackson actually was the one who picked up the balloons. He carried them around Publix and out to the car. It was so cute watching him carry around 10 balloons. It looked like they were going to carry him away. We go to the restaurant and walk in. Lee was in the office in the kitchen. Lindsay went to go get him while we waited near the back. The kids were so excited to be there with surprises. He came out of the kitchen and was shocked. He did not expect us so I was glad that I pulled one over on him.

He had a good time opening up the cards/gifts. He did not get to keep his balloons. Jackson declared that they were his. Whenever he would walk around the rest. he carried them and for once it was easy to spot him. We stayed for dinner and had a good time. The balloons stayed right at our table. Jackson wouldn't let Lee put them in the car. We finally went home just exhausted. We all crashed and hard.

Well, I didn't quite crash. I was up when Lee got home. Jackson walked in to the den while we were sitting on the couch. It was around midnight. He crawled up in my arms. Lee has been told time and time again not to talk to him when he wakes up in the night because it will really wake up. He didn't listen. Nope. Jackson didn't go to bed until 3AM!!! Yes, I didn't go to sleep until he did. I was not happy to say the least. What's bad is that this repeated itself the next time. I'm not quite happy with this.

I spent Wednesday at the house baking and Lee spent it catching up on sleep. We all ate at McGuires on Wednesday for his birthday. We had not been there in about a year. I love the huge booths and the large portions. The kids don't want more food and Lee is satisfied. They have really good hamburgers. They also have great steaks. For some reason I just didn't want th filet which is so unusual for me. I really wanted a hamburger. It was very yummy! But I didn't even touch my fries. I just ate the meat. Definitely a weird night.

Thursday Mackenzie spent all day playing with Stella, Emily and Brianne. I mean all day long. I only left to run by the office and Target. We were having horrible storms/tornados and I wanted to run out before the storm hit. I went to Target and got Candy a gift card for Christmas and found the cutest embroidered shark towels. I got 2 of them for Jackson. I got a few other things too for Christmas. Little things though.

When I was leaving Target I called Candy to tell her that I would bring Jackson by on Friday so she could give him his birthday and Christmas presents. She told me about this shark shapped tent she saw at Target. The news of that almost made me turn around to go get it. I refrained. I was heading home in the pouring down rain. I stopped at Office Depot to get some toner and ended up sitting in the parking lot talking to Jessica on the phone.

When I got home I stopped by to get Mackenzie from Stella's. The girls were sleeping over at Brianne's for the night but they weren't home yet. I took Mackenzie home and gave her a bath. She decided she did not want to go out to eat with us for Jackson's birthday so we took her to Stella's to wait there until Brianne got home. We left and went to Osaka. Jackson picked hibachi for his birthday dinner. He was so excited to go there. We ate a blast. He loved watching the guy cook and wanted his rice and chicken. Instead of eating his chicken he ate my filet. Good taste.

We left dinner and since the rain had slacked up we went to Target to get the

So Jackson had his birthday yesterday. He didn't do anything too exciting. Around 9:30 I took him to Candy's house and he was there until 3. I felt horrible taking him there on his birthday but it was also Hayden's birthday and he couldn't wait to go there. I had to get out a closing package and get some last minute gifts. Mackenzie spent the day decorating cookies and going ice skating. When Jackson and I got home Mackenzie still wasn't at home. When she finally got home she was exhausted so we spent a nice and quiet evening at home. Jackson's birthday was low key.

All in all it was still great!

FaceBook

Wow, I can't believe it's almost the end of 2007. Next year, gulp, is my 10 year high school reunion. Wow, am I really getting that old? Yes, I do believe I am. So last night I got on Facebook to see who I could find. I had signed up earlier this year but never used it. My only friends were Elizabeth and Jana, but it's not like I have that many people I can add any way.


I'm really glad I go on there. I found Jessica Lawson, now Mure. We went to the dreaded Faith Christian in Montgomery. It was certainly a year from hell for almost every single student who attended. We later on went to JD together. I think she's an incredible sweet and neat person. She's in B'ham now and has the cutest little girl and she's expecting again. It's people like that who I enjoy coming across.

I do hesitate to send a request to someone from the past. I guess I get insecure and think they're going to think I'm nuts for requesting them or that they won't remember me or want to be my friend. It's all in my head, I know. It's honestly being back in high school. And I so want to avoid those feelings I felt back then. And on top of that I hate being so much heavier than I was in high school. Ugh.

Insecurity aside I look forward to finding new old friends!

3 Years Ago

Do you remember what you were doing 3 years ago on December 21st at 12:40am? I sure do. I was in the hospital bed at Sacred Heart Hospital in Pensacola. Lee was snoring loudly on the cot. I was big and fat and pregnant. My labor pains started about two hours ago. The nurse gave me something to help me sleep. I told her I had small contractions but nothing was showing up on the monitor. Later we found out it was positioned way off and I had been in labor.

In a few hours, around 5:30 am I was waking up with Lee. Dr. Lile walked in to the room. He orders the pitocin and breaks my water. Oh my gosh! Within 5 mins the contractions had intensified well beyond my pain threshold. Still being told that I couldn't be having contractions because nothing was registering. Jana arrives around 7:30. I am in pain. I want an epi but have to wait until I'm 3cm. Finally they readjust the monitor belt contraption (that's really funny looking on an extended belly) and who would've thunk it but contractions showing up.

Lee was really nervous seeing me in pain. My knuckles would turn white from me holding on to the rails of the bed. Jana would talk me through the cx and tell me when it was coming down. Lee was so nervous he would start talking non-stop during them. It was awful, I wanted silence. I yelled for him to shut up a few times. Then I'd apologize when the cx would end.

Finally around 11 I reached 3cm. Glory hallelujah. But oh no, the stupid Anesthesiologist refused to give me the epi b/c I hadn't had blood work done recently. I guess the blood for the night before didn't count. Lee was livid. They said it'd take the lab 1-2 hours to process everything. Jana was walking me through the pain and Lee was on a mission to kill someone. He went into the hall and happened to see Dr. Lile. The lady was in the room taking my blood. Less than a min later Dr. Lile is telling someone on the phone that they better have run it NOW. Five mins later I had my epi. Wow! What a difference that makes.

I guess it's around 11:45 by the time all of the hoopla finished. I'm feeling great. I'm singing some song from American Idol and my fingers are waving in the air. Lee and Jana need to eat and I told them to go and get something. As they are leaving promising to be back soon I'm singing and waving my fingers. I still remember it so vividly. I fall asleep. I hadn't really slept the night before and I had been in such intense pain. On top of that the magnesium makes you feel awful and out of it. Besides that I think all of the pain meds decided to work all at once. It was great.

I remember waking up and being in and out of consciousness. I remember feeling like I need to push. My arms were so heavy. I couldn't reach or even find the nurses button to call. I pass back out. I wake up again feeling the urge to push. It must've been each contraction that I would wake up. Finally I need to push and bad. Lee and Jana walk in right on time. I mumble to them. Lee wants to get the nurse. I told him no, I'm okay. I did the same thing with Mackenzie and to my mom. Finally I told him to go get the nurse. He did. She checked me and said I was almost there.

The "mean" nurse then came in and wanted to argue with her telling her I wasn't ready. Ha. I proved her wrong. They're putting the bed together and 2 mins later I'm telling her I have to push and she checks me and starts rushing. She made some comment about how yup, it's time. This is all in a span of less than 5 mins. They're telling me not to push. Wait for the Dr. It's so hard not to push. I think around this time Lee's cellphone rang and it was my mom. I remember saying something to her on the phone. I was pretty incoherent.

I'm telling them I'm pushing and Lee is out of the door looking for Dr. Lile and he sees him running down the hall. Seriously he sits down I start pushing like all get out. He says "I see hair" and Lee looks down. He's so nervous and excited. One push later his head bloop bloop bloops out. Both Lee and Jana watch him enter this world. Dr. Lile told me to stop pushing he had to remove his shoulder. Wow. I could feel it. Highly uncomfortable and all I wanted to do was push that shoulder right out. Then the shoulder is freed and my son was born.

He sucked out the goo and laid him on me. He was so beautiful. He made a little cry. The nurses whisk him off to work on him and make sure he's okay. Our son was born 4 weeks early with fully developed lungs and was perfectly healthy. He scored great on both APGARs. The took him to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) to be looked at. Lee left with him. Lee said that they wheeled him next to Kathryn's little girl who had been born at 29 weeks to a friend of mine and former co-worker. I still feel guilty to this day that she was due after me and had a sick little girl and our son was wheeled in next to her and we were told "what is this boy doing in here? He's perfectly healthy and fine".

We are so blessed. I have this little boy who for 3 years has brought me such joy. His presence has also brought me joy from Mackenzie. It's so wonderful and beautiful to see her with him. Yes, he does get on her nerves and she sometimes snaps at him but 99% of the time she is so wonderful to him. She shows him off and introduces him to everyone we meet. She takes his hand and shows him things that she is doing or looking at. She helps him color and loves it when he lays on her chest. He loves her and she loves him. It's a beautiful thing. I am savoring every moment of it. I know in a few years that will all change.

So, where were you December 21, 2004? I was experiencing the second most wonderful thing in my life. The birth of my son. And on September 19, 2000 I was experiencing the first most wonderful thing in my life. The birth of my daughter.

I'm Not Pregnant

I never thought that saying the words to myself "I'm not pregnant" would ever sound so wonderful, but they do. I got my latest hCG test result back and it's down to 157. That's great. It dropped by 3000 points thus making me not preggers anymore. This is such a bless because this saves me from having to have surgery or shots to remove a tubal pregnancy. This was an eptopic pregnancy but it didn't get stuck in my tube. It was removed completely through the D&C.

Now we can start trying again. I'm excited. I think. It's not that I am wavering in our decision to try again it's just that I don't want to be in the 18% of people who have recurring ectopic pregnancies. Every second from the moment I get pregnant to the moment the baby is born will be filled with worries. I'm sure at some point I'll let it go. I'm just 4 days down into my count for ovulation. It's insane but I'm going to chart this month. I should ovulate in 10 days. Wow, how much fun!

I'm on the phone with Lee right now and he's met a ton of interesting people from working at the restaurant. It is his first day back after being on vacation for a week. The owner of The Red Bar and 331 came in tonight with a couple who owns a local radio station. Now don't get me started. Or don't get Lee started. He is friends with Scott McKiney who has the radio show Southern Sports Tonight. Oh lord have mercy. He was known as Bama Lee but now he's Cantina Laredo Lee. He called to tell Scott something last week while driving the kids home from school. Scott puts him on the air and they talk for 10 minutes. It's crazy. Give Lee a podium and he'll use it.

So... the owners of the radio station were introduced to Lee and don't ask me how but they were impressed by his knowledge of music. Yes, Lee is this big 'ol brain of useless musical knowledge. They have had a 2-hour music show once a week and they asked Lee if he would begin hosting it. His restaurant would sponsor it by just giving free Gift Cards away, etc. and get free advertisement and they'll pay him. So he had a great idea of a Christmas show with neat Christmas songs done by a wide range of artists. So he hits the air on Tuesday.

This is just hysterical. Almost embarrassing. He can be quite animated and well, talkative. I know that's the idea but I can imagine him starting to talk and not stoping. I think it's great though. I know he'll love doing this. I know he'd do it even if he wasn't paid anything for it. As soon as he said he was paid for it I asked him when he starts. haha

I am so blessed. I have two wonderful children who mean the world to me. They are the light in my day. Right now I still love them but they are somewhat of a bother. They are both in bed with me right now. Mackenzie keeps sighing and moving her arms in the arm and rolling over to the middle. Not really rolling, she'll throw her leg over. Then her arms come flying over. I've moved her over a couple of times already. She's still on her side. I wonder how long she'll stay.

Jackson on the other hand rolled towards her but he's scrunched his butt next to me. At least he's not facing me and hitting me with his knees as he sometimes does. I love them dearly and lets face it, I love them sleeping with me, but I want my bed back. I want it back without Lee too.

Lee has been sleeping in the marital bed again while he was on vacation. It was awful and I told him so tonight. First of all the doesn't sleep on his side of the bed. As soon as he falls asleep, and usually before that, he is taking up 75% of the bed. Now it wouldn't matter if I had a whole bed full of the circus car clowns in my bed or just Jackson, but he leaves me no room. In addition to that there is the snoring. It's like a freight train. It's so loud. Oh man oh man. It's awful. It is impossible to go to sleep or stay asleep with the sounds he makes. It's like he's dying. Then we have the problem with the TV. He falls asleep with the TV on and it's loud. No, it's LOUD!

I just can't sleep under these conditions. It's gotta be against the marriage rules or something. We've been playing musical beds throughout all of this. Mackenzie has been sleeping on the couch (it's her choice) and I sneak in to her room and sleep once Lee and Jackson fall asleep. I like her bed. I crawl on the bottom bunk and hide. Her fan is on super duper high and it's so cold and nice. I curl up with my favorite blanket and bam! I'm asleep. It's great, until Jackson comes in crying for me to get up and come back in my bed. It's awful in my bed. No, don't make me.

So tonight I will sleep with the kids. I will stay in my bed. It's a lot easier moving a 3 or 7 year old over than a 33 year old. It's way past my bed time. Good night y'all!

Oh... it's been in the 70's all week. It's been great! Gotta love Florida.

Laughter - Good for the Soul

I love laughing. I think it's great. It makes you feel all good and warm and fuzzy. I love the deep gutteral laughter that small children have. It's when they think something is truly hysterically funny. Jackson does it every so often and so does Mackenzie. It is one of the sweetest sounds in this world. I love it.

Well today I had one of those laughs. It was the genuine heartfelt laugh. One that I seriously thought was going to cause my insides to explode, especially from where the Dr. went in. It was great. It was one of those you had to be there episodes but it was the funnies thing I've ever seen.

I'll start from yesterday, although that part isn't the funny part. So yesterday morning we all went to Breakfast with Santa at Mackenzie's school. We got there around 8:30. The whole family went. We ate in the cafeteria and in the middle of it there were ginger bread houses that local restaurants and families made and donated. They did a live auction to raise money for the school. Then in the gym they had face painting, ornament making and you could have your picture taken with santa.

Each classroom made a basket for the silent auction. I was shocked at their baskets. One had over $500 in gift cards from restaurants, Target, etc. and a 7 day vacation package at Sandestin and a 4 day package at Sandestin. The last price for it was $600, I wonder what it went for. There were golf baskets to Sandestin and Seascape. Baskets with games, spa packages, computer programs. You name it. It was great. I thought it was such a neat way to raise money and so many restaurants and local businesses kicked in money, gift cards or merchandise.

We had a blast there. I even saw Dr. Petrac there. She is the Dr. who did my procedure. It's strange seeing someone like that out and about. She asked me how I was feeling. I told her I felt great. I did end up getting tired and really hot in the gym so we left. Both of the kids had a great time there. Jackson was all excited because he shook santa's hand. Oh and little miss priss can claim that she still isn't comfortable at Butler because she doesn't know that many people, but she had kids coming up to her from the moment we got there. One girl saw her an came running to her in the parking lot and giving her a huge hug. She is little miss social there. I think it's great.

We got home and I made some cookies. Mackenzie ended up playing at Stella and Emily's. She came home around 1 and asked if she could go with them to Baytowne to see the boat parade and go ice skating. She was thrilled to go. We talked about going up to Baytowne and I called Maria (the girls mom) to see how much longer they'd be there and at 5:45 the parade was just starting and they hadn't skated yet.

The three of us headed up there and went to see Mackenzie skating before we went to eat. She was having such a great time and Maria was awesome for taking 3 kids skating. Wow, what a great mom and neighbor. We went to eat at Acme Oyster House. We had a good time and we got to see Tim Tebow win the Heisman. Man how I love football.

When we went to get Mackenzie she was invited to spend the night. Of course I said she could. Stella is my favorite girl on the street. Her little sister Emily is just adorable. They are a good family. Jackson reluctantly left Mackenzie there while we went home. Jackson took a bath with Lee while I ran her nighttime clothes on their front door.

Anyhoo, Kenzie came by to get Clarice, Rudolph's girlfriend, that she made at Build a Bear. Let me just say I think the name Clarice for a Build a Bear is a bad idea. All I can think of is "Clarice" in a really creepy Hannibal Lector voice. Yeah, really creepy. Maria saw Jackson's mural of the sharks and totally loved it. They just got finished painting their house and she saw where I had taped up the kitchen. We started talking about the ideas we have for our house. It was almost 11:30 when they left.

Jackson and I hopped in be with Lee. I can't believe it but we slept until 10am. Wow! It was amazing. I loved it. I woke up refreshed. I had taken some meds the nightbefore to help with my TMJ and muscles. Lee was awake too and in a good mood.

We decide to go on the boat today. With a high of 80 why not go on the boat. Kenzie came home and we straightened up some and left. We had a great time on the water. It really brings us together as a family. Especially since Lee can now get the boat on the back of the car. Before when he struggled he'd just get really frustrated an upset. It did not make for a fun experience. Now he can do it no problem. I still am the only one who can back the boat in or any of that type of stuff. And he will also admit that I'm the best driver of the boat and know how it works the best. I don't know how I do it so well, but it's like second nature to me. I love it.

We were by crap island and saw dolphins. I spotted them first and the kids love it. I'm in awe of them every time I see them. It seems everytime we go out we see something. I think it's great. We heade towars the harbor so we could go in to the gulf. We never made it in the gulf. We became engrossed in jelly fishing. Yeah, we're nuts. Before I went under the Destin bridge I noticed something big in the water but ran over it. We were getting closer to the gulf when we noticed they were all in the water. They were jellyfish. I mean huge suckers. I looked them up online tonight and found out they are called cannonball jellyfish. Very strange looking things.

It became our mission to catch a jellyfish. We had Jackson's little green net. Lee was the cutest thing hanging over the boat. Mackenzie and I both telling him, there's one near the surface on the left, no wait, hurry there's one on the right. Jackson was even pointing out the jellyfish. After us going around in circles and looking crazy to those onlookers Lee finally caught a jellyfish. It was heavy. It enfulged the whole net. It was weird looking. the bottom part and it was hard, it was so weird. I can't think of another way to describe it.

That was the highlight of our trip. The whole family was involved. Even Lee loved doing this. It was something small and stupid to some but it was great for us. We finally called it a day and headed back. Now this is where it got funny.

We get to the dock and I get out and go get the car. I back it in like a pro. Lee and I put the kids in the car. He goes to drive the boat on the trailer. Now we forgot that this is my job. He's the one who waits for the boat and pulls it in. First of all I was just waiting for Lee and come to find out I had forgotten to untie him. While he was waiting on me I was waiting on him.

I untie him and then the fun begins. I am sitting in the car and see him. He can't get the boat on the trailer. He keeps reversing and going forward. He can't do it. It's not hard at all. I mean it's so simple. It's hysterical. Next thing I know he is literally sideways. It was like he paralled parked between the two docs. Mackenzie and I are laughing hysterically. A boy and his dad are riding their bikes and pull up to the dock. I am just dying with laughter because Lee is still struggling and the kid is just watching Lee. The laughter did start earlier thought. I needed my boat shoes so I could get in the water and not fall in the sludge like I did once before. Lee threw me one shoe beautifully. The second one, well it ended up in the water. Not good. But really funny.

So we're laughing at Lee like crazy. Apparently Lee fell in the boat (which I totally missed and if I had seen it I would've really peed in my pants). I start laughing so hard at him I have to sit down and end up throwing up a little from the laughter. The kid and dad bike off. Lee said that when he fell the kid said "dad, did you see that?" and the dad saw Lee's face and told him that they better go. Man I wish I could've seen that. It only took another 10 minutes for him to get it up.

It felt so good to laugh. Mackenzie and I both laughed. It was great. What was even better is that Lee didn't take himself seriously. So we all had a great laugh. I know that Jana can so visualize what I'm telling. She knows how he is. What's funny right this moment is that Lee is snoring like a freight train. It's loud. It's a weird pattern sound. I wish I could record it for people to hear it. Man it's loud.

So now it's a little past 11pm. I need to sleep.

It's All Gonna Be Alright

Well we finally found out what happened with the baby. I went to the Dr. this Wednesday and we had another u/s. The sac was still measuring 5w2d. My numbers had risen so I just could not understand. Well, it finally made sense when the Dr. started talking. I have an ectopic pregnancy. The baby never made it to my uterus. It can be very dangerous and it is the 2nd leading cause in death of pregnant people.

I had a D&C on Friday (yesterday) to clean out everything. I go back on Monday to have my levels checked again. If they have not gone down then that means the baby is in my fallopian tube and was not cleaned out during the D&C. If the numbers didn't go down then I will go in on Thursday for surgery on my tube. I pray that I don't have to have this done.

I feel remarkably great considering that I was put out completely during the procedure. I am a little tired but only because I woke up at 4:15 Friday morning to be at the hospital at 5:30. Lee took the kids to school and just made it in time to pick me up, which was fine. The worst part of it all was taking the antibiotic before the procedure and then dry heaving it up. Yuck! They gave me some Zofram and I felt much better. They only knocked me completely out because the Dr. thought I might throw up during the procedure and choke myself. I'm glad she was precautious.

I felt good afterwards and went in w/ Lee to p/u my prescription at Publix and even did some grocery shopping. I came home and worked a little bit and then took a small nap. Today my entire body feels incredibly sore which I'm not sure why. Other than that I'm great.

I feel like this entire event was meant to be. I think it helped Lee and I really realize that we did want one more child after all. And if we don't get pregnant again then that is fine too. I'm blessed with two wonderful children already.

I'm going to try and get the kids some Christmas gifts. I'm behind. I spent too much time worrying over this entire thing.

Christmas in the Caribbean?

Now how in the world am I suppose to get in the Christmas spirit if the temperature is in the 70's? And that was a rhetorical question. Lee was off yesterday and we put up our Christmas tree. Okay, I put it together. It's a new one and it's 9 feet tall. It looks so nice. I am very pleased. Now for putting the ornaments up. I have yet to do so. Mackenzie and I will put some up today. Lee put out our snow globes and santa and deer outside. They look so cute. I just love Christmas time. I love the music and feeling. I love shopping for others and seeing their faces when they open their gift up.

I love seeing Jackson for the first time really get the whole Christmas thing. He is so excited about Christmas trees and it's so cute to hear him say it. He did tell us he didn't like santa. That could be a problem. I'll have to work on that in the next few weeks. Mackenzie is alAtl excited about decorating too. Oh, she and my mom went to a website called northpole.com. She made a wishlist on there. It made me want to cry. She put clothes, underwear, and just small little things. She's such a great kid.

We're getting Jackson a ton of shark items for his birthday. I went to the Learning Express and they had some really cool items. For Christmas we're getting him a big Jeep Power Wheels toy car. At this point in time I can't thing of much else. We did get the mural painted in his room. That cost a pretty penny. Mackenzie is getting a little Vespa scooter. I'm also getting her one of those plasma cars that she's been wanting. I finally sat down and typed up a list and keeping adding to it.

You know the older they get the more expensive their toys are. Now when they only have 1 thing from Santa does that disappoint them? I know I'll go overboard as every year but it gets ridiculous. I think Lee and I gave each other our TV. Which essentially was for free since I've just about sold everything on ebay. It taint bad. The only thing I want for Christmas is to get pregnant. I doubt it'll happen that soon considering I'm still carrying our angel. But perhaps one day soon.

Lee is off for vacation starting on Tuesday. I'm really excited. I can't wait for him to be home. We can go Christmas shopping together for the kids. We can organize the house. And yes these are things that he has already said he'd do. I didn't drag him in to it, well perhaps I did but I already disclosed it to him.

I'm off to check on the kids. I can hear that Jackson just dumped out the box with his huge train track in it. Oh so much fun.