Only 5 Weeks and 5 Days to Go

So it has been yet another long day. Too long. I am stretched way too thin. I have no support structure here right now. This week is going to be so grueling and with the office move I am going nuts. I have an employee who I truly thinks is semi-lazy. She complains non-stop about everything. I asked her to box up some very very light things today when I had to go to a closing. This is so she wouldn't just sit around the office while I was gone and play in the internet. I feel that I have to work harder just to keep her busy. I am kicking myself in the butt for hiring her in the first place because her boyfriend is the son of the lady who keeps Jackson. It's a real difficult position to be in. I honestly feel that I would be better off by myself in the office.

I do have to admit that it's hard while Lee's gone. Yesterday I got a phone call from Rick, his wife watches Jackson, and he was calling about a matter with the girls paycheck b/c payroll screwed it up on the 15th but it's being fixed at the end of the month. He calls me asking me if it's resolved and I told him I got an email confirmation from the EVP and payroll guy that it was taken care of. He caught me off guard by calling about it and I had 2 lines going as well and things were crazy. I only answered the phone from the number in the first place b/c I thought it was an emergency w/ Jackson. He told me, yes told me, to fwd the email from my bosses that said the issues was resolved. Me not thinking told me okay when I get a chance. He then got attitude with me and told me that I better have it to him immediately.

I get caught up on the phone and with 2 distaterous closing in PC and he calls again. Gives me serious attitude about why I haven't fwd him the emails yet. I told him that I sent them to *her* and I wasn't thinking earlier but I can't send that information to him. I have to keep things such as that confidential. He continues to argue with me telling me I better send it to him and if I don't then he was going to come up to my office and force me to give it to him. Hold up. This is someone I have a good relationship with. He was completely out of line. I told him that this wasn't between the two of us and he needed to stay out of it that everything has been taken care of. I also told him that it's not my fault that payroll screwed up and not my fault that it's taken this long to get confirmation it's been taken care of for the 30th. He said he was just checking on me because it's his sons girl. Whatever.

It takes a lot to make me cry but the way he spoke to me reduced me to tears. I mean heavy tears. At the end I told him that he didn't need to talk to me so disrespectfully and I didn't deserve it. I began to cry so hard that I just hung up on him. I just couldn't believe that he of all people would talk to me like that. It just happens he asked *her* boyfriend if the payroll was resolved and he told him yes that I had gotten an email and was fwd it to her. He took it upon himself to call. This was a time when I needed Lee. I knew he had just gotten to Dallas and didn't want to burden him. I cried for probably 30 mins. I am still flabbergasted at how badly I was talked down too. I really wish Lee was here to talk about it. I know he'd comfort me.

So now I'm in the perdicament of I can't let her go b/c it might screw up things for Jackson. I can't do that to him. He adores Rick and Candy and that would be devestating to him. So how do I balance it? I have no idea, but I'm scared. I'm scared at how it's all going to pan out.

I Had No Idea

that it was going to be as hard as it was to send Lee off. When he left yesterday I cried so hard. I guess up until he left it hadn't sunk in how long 6 weeks really is. I cried not only for myself but for the kids. Jackson won't be able to comprehend or understand why daddy left and that he IS coming back. It was lonely here last night. I wish Mackenzie was here with me right now.

I was planning on flying out to Dallas Easter weekend, but mom hadn't given me the final ok that she'd watch the kids until now. Now I don't think I am going to go. I checked the flights to book one and since I waited so long I'd end up paying at least $320 and that's a lot of money. :-( It was going to be the perfect weekend too. I was planning on flying out Thursday early evening and I'd have all day Sat. and Sunday. Blah. Oh well, it was fun planning it. I checked very single airline and they've all gone up on their prices. It figures this would happen to me. Only me.

I went out to dinner with Jana and her mom last night. Of course little man Jackson came as well. He's such a cutie patootie. Her mom was hysterical recounting her experience at West Point Stevens in the outlet mall. She kept saying over and over again "Rebekah, I've had a bad day". It was just hysterical. She has this great southern accent and not the uneducated sounding kind, but we're talking the southern charming kind. She's so cute. I had a good time and I think Jackson did too.

I had a horrfic day at work and I can't see it getting any better. It sucks. I am not happy and don't forsee things going more smoothly any time soon. It's the end of the month and we're moving offices. I have no time to breath or take a break. It's not going in my favor. Can I just quit now? If only I could.

I'm not going to hold anything back, but I wish I had someone in the office that had experience and could do things really well like Bonnie did. That's what I need and I don't have it. It sucks. Okay, I'm in a bad mood I guess. I'm going to go before I blow something up.

It's Going to be Lonely

I was going to go to B'ham this weekend to take Kenzie to my parents, however, I am just too exhausted to go all weekend. I am meeting my parents tomorrow in Greenville. It's going to be very lonely this next week. Not only will she be gone but Lee as well. Just me and my Jackson. I'm sure he's going to wonder why everyone left him with this crazy woman. I hope he'll be able to know that Lee is coming back and that he'll talk to him on the phone some. He gets so excited when Lee comes home and it just seems so sad that he can't comprehend what's going on.

Well... I got a new car yesterday. We traded in the Cavalier and I got a new Sienna. Yes, I am completely weird for being 26 and this is my dream car. It is white and has dark tinted windows. It even has a DVD system with 2 sets of wireless headphones. That is definitely Mackenzie's favorite part. She's already enjoyed it.

Work has been very stressful. We are moving offices next Friday. It's going to be a pain in the butt. Moving the last day of the month when there are tons of closings is not ideal. I've got 2 purchases closing on Friday. I don't know how in the world to handle this. I'm sure I'll figure it out as always. It will pan out I'm sure. We've been super busy at the office. I've closed 37 or so for the month. That's including some purchases scheduled for next month. We've also gotten in 48 or so orders so it's not too shabby.

Gotta run

Ahh... 27 Years Old and Crusing in a Minivan

Yes, I am, or will turn 27 years old on April 4th and as of tomorrow will be driving a minivan again! Yes, I am nuts. When we sold our minivan last year I thought I'd be okay with it but I honestly hate my Trailblazer. Today we picked out a 2006 Toyota Sienna. It was a program car and has 20k miles on it. It's loaded with the exception of leather seats and even has a drop down DVD player in it. We worked with a really good guy who Lee has become friends with and I have to admit it that I've finally found a car dealer that I like. Tomorrow afternoon once Lee gets the Trailblazer finished with it's warranty repairs we're going to pick it up. I never thought I'd want a white car but this one is shiny and white.

This way I won't have to drive the Cavalier while Lee's gone. Since he's driving to Dallas he's taking the Trailblazer. I have to admit that I am giddy with excitment. I'll be cruising up and down the strip in a pimped out minivan. Yes, I am odd.

I was telling Lee earlier today that I had been thinking about my birthday. Ever birthday as far back as I can remember I would wonder if my birthparents thought about me on that day. I was sure they did, but you know, maybe they didn't care. It's odd to think that this year I KNOW they are thinking of me. I'll probably even talk to them. So totally cool

6 Weeks is a Long Time

I haven't brought up anything with Lee and his job in my blogs, but Lee is once again starting a new job. The place he just went to was doing things that were not above board and he has departed from there. He worked really hard before the other job and after it to get a job with Catina Laredo and he was offered the job on Thursday. It is an upscale southwestern restaurant in Sandestin here. The corporation also owns Spaghetti Warehouse and some other concepts. The restaurant has not opened yet but will open in early May.

Lee leaves us on Sunday to drive out to Dallas for 6 weeks of training. Six long weeks. He won't come home at all during his stay out there. I know I'll miss him, but the kids will miss him terribly. It's also going to be trying on me because I have a ton of stuff going on with work and we're moving offices on 4/1. Yes, lots of fun. He'll miss my birthday and Easter but I know in the long run it's best for him.

I am excited about his opportunity with them. It's a really good company and out of 22 local people they interview he is the only one who made it to the 2nd round. He made it and I'm so proud of him. Another guy coming to the restaurant is from Tallahassee. He has a 7 year old son who is also in 1st grade. I think they are going to be in shock when they see the price of houses. Lee has already prepared them for it as much as he can. There are a some houses for rent behind us and I think that 2 of the guys might end up renting at first there. It's close to the restaurant and brand new and reasonably priced. Who knows.

So it's going to be a long 6 weeks. We'll see how it goes.

Jackson and Batteries Don't Mix

I am sure that those who read my blog have already heard the news but in the off chance you haven't, well we had quite an adventure this week. Wednesday night Jackson took a battery that came from a laser pen and swallowed it. I had put it up on the counter so he wouldn't take it since he was fascinated with it but he took his grocery cart and laid it sideways and used it as a stool to take the battery. I was in the den when he did this.

I noticed that he was swallowing hard and that it seemed as if he had swallowed something. This is not a child who goes around putting everything in his mouth and certainly hasn't ever ingested something. I guess it was a mother's instinct but I immediately knew what he had swallowed when I saw the buggy turned over. I gave him some water b/c he seemed to need some and it was past the point of trying to make him throw it up.

Lee had gone to pick us up dinner and left his cell phone at home so I couldn't call him to tell him this, well, I tried but realized when I heard it ringing in the other room it was at home. I looked up online about kids swallowing things and batteries. Of course when I pull it up it says that most things that kids swallow will pass through except for batteries. Great. Just great. It specifically listed watch batteries, hearing aid batteries and of course the type he swallowed was this type.

I didn't know what else to do so I called poison control. The lady was super nice and told me that I needed to take him to the ER for an x-ray. That it probably had gone on down but if it stayed in it could corode and the acid come through. I called Jana and told her we were going to the ER and explained the situation. I then tried calling the restaurant Lee had gone to and they said he had just left. I think the panic in my voice made the guy go find him. Lee called me from the guy's cell phone and went straight to Sacred Heart. He started getting the paperwork ready while we were on our way.

We all get to Sacred Heart and we only sit out for a moment. We get put in a room and that's where the waiting begins. B/c the poison control had already called ahead to tell them we were coming and needed an x-ray I don't know why they were so slow, especially when the x-ray tech rolls the machine into your room.

The Dr. finally comes and and from what all we've heard thus far that as long as it's not in his throat still where the acid can burn out then we should be fine and he'll pass it. I try and keep the positive thoughts going. The x-ray tech comes in and takes the picture. He comes back a moment later and asks us if Jackson had a button on his shorts or something metal. I said "you found it? you found something? where is it?". He had no idea he was looking for metal. He tells us it's in the lower part of his belly and that he'd go give it to the Dr.

This is when it all turns not so great. She walks in and shows us the x-ray. It has already gone through his stomach and is lying in his intestines. The size of it and where it is makes it highly unlikely that it will pass. She tells us that they will need to go in a remove it. They can't do it there b/c there isn't a pediatric surgeon so it's either Sacred Heart in P'cola or Gulf Coast in Panama City. She did say that they would probably go in with a machine down his throat and just grab it out and general anetheisa wouldn't be done. How wrong those words would be.

Knowing we were about to head out to another city I tried calling Jana so I could take Mackenzie to her. I left her 1 or 2 messages and we got in the car and headed over there. i bangged on her door until she came to. It's 9:30 at night and I'm sure she thought we were crazy. I took Kenzie in and of course my Jana was perfectly okay with keeping Kenzie. She would take her to school the next morning although Kenzie did nto have any school clothes.

I had already called my parents and they were talking about driving down immediately. When I got back to the hospital Lee talked them out of it. I was with Jackson and Lee had gone outside to get something when the Dr. came up. She said that there is a great pediatric surgeon on staff at Gulf Coast and they were taking us by ambulance. Lee walks in and I tell him the news.

He leaves to run home and get my cell phone and the charger and a few items. Not many though. The ambulance comes and Jackson has to lie on the stretcher but he refuses so I get to lie on it strapped on with him. He falls asleep for a bit during the ride. I have to say that the TJ the EMT guy who sat with me was super nice. He's 22 and he's being doing this since he was 18. His dad was the Capt of the FD in Niceville but passed away 5 months after his 2 year old brother was born. He's had a hard time with it I can tell. He's the oldest of 5 kids. His family moved from Tampa a few years back and he was at home when his youngest brother was born and he had to deliver him because he came so quickly. He was also at home when his dad had a heart attack and all of his dads men were called to the scene to help save him. It was so sad. It really puts all of my problems into perspective.

Okay, so we arrive to GCMC (Gulf Coast Medical Center) and we are admitted straight to a room. The nurse comes in and tells me Dr. Taylor will be in shortly. In walks this Dr. who looks like he's 25 but is smokin' hot! I'm torn because he just doesn't look old enough to be performing surgery on my son, however, surely he must be to be their pediatric surgeon. He tells us that based on the x-ray that was sent over that the battery is way too far down and hidden for them to go in through his throat. It seems surgery is the ONLY option. He wants 2 more x-rays just to be sure though.

Jackson and I go and they do the x-rays. Yup, surgery it is. The anesthesiologist (sp???) assistant (and I certainly can't spell her title) comes in and tells me about putting him to sleep and how it will all go. The Dr. says this is really the only option for us. Lee finally arrives and just as he calls my parents to update them. They take us back to the post-op room and Lee insists on talking to the Dr.

I think he was ataken aback b/c of how young he looked too b/c he asked him how many of these surgeries he had performed. I wanted the Dr. to say 2000 but he said 4 or 5 of this particular kind. He told me previously that just last month they had the same situation w/ a little girl. The Dr. is great with Lee and tells him that if he had gone in by the throat it would have more risk of problems. He really made Lee feel better.

We went into the surgical waiting room. This was at 12:05AM Thursday. They tell us the surgery will be about an hour then another hour with recovery time. Lee went to get something and I asked him for a pillow and he said he could do better. He goes out to the car and brings in the bag he fixed. It has a blanket and he had gotten me a pillow. I was exhausted by now. It was 12:30. I laid on my stomach and passed out.

The next thing I remember is the phone ringing and Lee answering it. It's a nurse wanting to know if we want them to go ahead and remove his appendix since they were in there. I tell Lee sure and I don't care. He gives them the okay. I go back to sleep immediately. Around 2:30AM the Dr. comes in. It took a bit for me to get with it. He said the surgery went perfectly. They had to pull out his intestines and dig around for the battery. It was apparently hard to find and get out.

We get to Jackson and he was sleeping and out of it. He woke up or at least stirred every little bit. We were told that he did very well. One horrible part of it all is that he had to have a tube down his throat. Poor baby.

We get settled in on the pediatric unit and we finally all settle in for a good nights rest. Yeah right. It's almost 4 by now and we hardly slept at all. Jackson woke up around 6 crying in pain and they came in and gave him some meds. Lee left around 9 or so and went home to take care of some things and to bring us some clothes. I got on the phone and started dealing with work crap. Bob came by and although it was a nice gesture it was really all about work. He came back a few hours later wanting to sit down and go over stuff. He then called even later and Jackson is crying so hard in the background and you know I shouldn't have even worried about work, but no, I did. I literally spent all day in Jacksons room watching him sleep and on the phone with work.

Jackson didn't hardly wake all day. Just off and on. He was still sleeping off the anesthesia. My mom drove down and arrived in time to pick up Mackenzie from school. The two of them headed over to the hospital to see Jackson. In an email I sent out I said that Jackson smiled for the first time since all of this when he say Mackenzie, but it was actually when he say Grandmama. They stayed for a bit and Jackson I think enjoyed the time.

Lee arrived back at the hospital around 7. He was gone a LONG time. I finally left around 8:15 to run to Walmart and get something to read and to pick up Chick-fil-A. I got back around 9. It was nice to run out for a bit. Being holed up in a hospital room all day is not fun. It's not like I could walk around or go outside b/c he's a little baby and I had to be there incase he awakened.

We had a decent nights sleep, or at least I did. Jackson woke up only twice. I left around 9:30 to find an internet connection and then headed across the street to Countrywide to use a desk, internet and printer. We had 2 closings there on Friday and 1 purchase that afternoon. Yes, my son is in the hospital and I leave to do my job. Do I get one thank you from Bob? No. Do I get bitched out b/c this crazy realtor who Bob left 2 messages for acts like she never got them? Yes. And the crazy thing of it all is I'm not the one who was suppose to get in touch with her. I resent greatly the attitude I was given on Friday afternoon. I delayed Jackson's realease by 2 hrs because I was working. Ugh. It's frustrating.

Okay, so Jackson came home late Friday afternoon. He laid around Saturday and on Sunday he went was up and around playing. He was dying to go outside and ride in his car. He is much better and I am so thankful for the surgeon Dr. Michael Taylor. He was amazing!

This is my story and I'm sticking to it!

Insomnia

It is 11:48 and I am wide awake. Do I want to be? Heck no. Last night I couldn't go to sleep to save my life. I got up and got on the computer then laid back down. Got back up and got my lighted mirror and picked at my face. Up and down up and down. I finally got to sleep a little after 3:30. It's awful. I awake this morning to feel as if I've been hit by a train. We all wake up late and it's chaos in the house. We make it out of here at 8:05 and head into town. Mackenzie didn't have school today since it was a teacher in service day and we all had our parent teacher conferences. I drop her off at the after school program and then take Jackson. I then head back for the conference w/ her teacher.

I am blown away by her teachers kind words. Well, not blown away because I am shocked to hear positive things about my child but just how kind they were and all positive. Mackenzie is doing great in school and behaves very well. She listens and is kind and sweet and compassionate. She received a 100 in spelling, 99 in language, 98 in math and S+'s in the rest. Her teacher and I had a great chat. We of course talked of other things as well because everyone knows I'm a talker. She's a little bit younger than me and super sweet and kind. Miss Fritz has done an amazing job teaching 1st grade this year. Mackenzie has just learned so much and has been taught by the best.

I got back to the office after the meeting and I'm feeling sick. Just naseous, etc. and I go to the bathroom and yes, my visitor came, thus me feeling horrible. I started getting real shakey as if my blood sugar had dropped. I eventually left work around 3 and came home. Once I was home I laid down and I'd get these horrible hot flashes off and on and I'd just start sweating. I kept thinking I was going to hurl.

OMG! One of the little neighbor brats came to the house to see if Mackenzie could play. She wasn't home and Lee was p/u the kids for me. I told him that she was still at school and her dad was picking her up. She would be home later this evening. I am not kidding you that less than 30 mins later my doorbell is a ringing again and the dog is barking up a storm AGAIN and it's the same freaking kid at my door. He just wanted to know if Mackenzie was home yet. I don't like being mean to kids, even this one and his bratty sister, because they are young and I honestly don't want to hurt their feelings even though sometimes they need a good knock upside the head. I said "Nate I already told you she wouldn't be home until later tonight and that her dad was bringing her home. His car is not here and she is not home. I am sick and I don't feel well so please do not come to the house again today." I felt horrible after I said it and I didn't yell it or anything but jeez, how many times would he knock?

Seriously, last week I pulled up and he saw me pull up so he came speeding down the street on his bike. I'm sitting in my car gathering my stuff together when he slams the bike down on the pavement and starts beating on my door and ringing the doorbell. Buffett is barking up a storm and upset as can be and he just doesn't stop. I finally get out of the car and go around to the door. He sees me and realizes I'm not inside. What I want to say to him is that it is not appropriate to ring the doorbell and continue to beat on the front door and peer in the frosted glass. Mackenzie knows better and she's only 6. He should know better. He's 2 years older.

I do feel sorry for them because they are home schooled and don't interact with other kids. The sad part is that they behave so unruly that other parents in the neighborhood complain about them. I'm talking about ppl who don't even have kids at home or they have kids 2 and under. It's crazy how they behave and what puzzles me is their mom seems to be strict and firm with them but when she's not around it's a free for all. I thought about talking to the mom but I know her well enough to know she'd hold a grudge against me and get defense and it's not worth it. I've already got one enemy on my street. The white trash lady who can't even afford her house so her white trash mom bought it for her. Yes, the same one who leaves her 4 and 2 year olds unattended at home while she leaves the house and we find the kids playing in the middle of the street. Yes, same one.

We live in a very nice new subdivision. Most of the people are decent and not "eww" except for a few. I have to admit that our yard sometimes has toys left out or this and that but we're not white trash by any means. Leave that to the other lady.

Okay, my period must be making me mean and critical tonight. It's 12:05 AM and I'm going to try and sleep. I'm exhausted but am restless. Good night. Sleep tight.

It's Friday!

I am so glad it's Friday. I am sure most people feel this way when Friday comes. I am so excited that the time change is this weekend. The sun starts shining through my curtains at 6 every morning. Mackenzie also rolls in our room about this time. I think it's because her bay windows face the front of the house where the sun shines the most. I'm ready for me to get home and it not be dark outside. When it's like this I feel as if my day has been wasted. All I've done is gotten up and gone to work and come home and that's it. I love the sun.

Mackenzie is out of school on Monday because it is the parent/teacher conference day. I've got my appt. at 9. Her teacher told me yesterday I didn't have to come in unless I wanted to because Mackenzie is doing so well. I'm still going any way. My little ray of sunshine is doing great at school. I always knew that when she graduated from high school I'd be 38. That's not too old and fine and dandy. I just added it up and I'll be 43 when Jackson graduates. Oh my gosh, I'm going to be so old when that happens. I turned 25 a few months after he was born but I guess I just didn't realize how old I was then. I can't imagine having kids any later than that. Doing the math today made me confirm the fact that I am not having any more kids. I just don't want to keep starting the time clock over again and again. Lee will be 50 when Jackson graduates from high school. Yikes! That's old!

My birthday is coming up next month and I'm dreading it. I didn't think I'd really care or it'd bother me getting older. I thought Lee was crazy for his denial of his 30th birthday but now I'm understanding it. So is 27 still mid-twenties or late twenties? Please someone tell me I can be in my mid-twenties for one more year. Late twenties? You're never in your late teens. Just late twenties, late thirties, late forties and heaven forbid your late fifties. I don't know where my complex has come from all of the sudden. I guess I should just be happy I'm alive.

Lee and I had a late lunch together today. We ate at McGuires and typically it's really good but it was just awful today. It's frustrating for me to eat somewhere and have a horrible experiences. I am particular because of Lee being in the restaurant business but it wasn't good. They usually have great hamburgers but this time, mine especially, was burnt all over the outside. It wasn't medium, we're talking well done. The manager who first came over was wanting to give us fresh ones but when we waited over 40 mins for burgers I just didn't have any more time. The owner came over and was rude to us and even though he did take off one of the burgers on our ticket he was a butt. Lee stood up to shake his hand and to tell him that he'd heard great things about him and that he's a friend of so and so who works there but the dude just stood there. Then turned around and walked off.

So Lee's a/c went out in his car. Yeah, no fun at all. He's getting it fixed as we speak and he just called to tell me that the compressor went out. It's going to cost at least a grand to fix it. The joys of adulthood. That's a lot of money right now but you know we'll figure it out as we always do. It seems like if it's not one thing it's another. Gotta love life!

Blah Blah Blah

*They* will be home soon so I have to quickly spit out my post. Not sure what to say except I am exhausted. I had to go to PC today for work and let me tell you I did not enjoy all of the driving. Also dealing w/ this ancient woman who is driving me nuts at the bank there doesn't make my day any better. Also sitting at the bank for 2 hours for a closing wasn't fun. It wasn't that bad I guess b/c I enjoyed the company of the girls there but it's just draining.

I was thisclose to the kids when Lee called and sent me home saying he'd pick up the kids. I shouldl've gone on and picked them up b/c they're still not home. I have spent only an hour at the most on the computer since this weekend. I've been so utterly exhausted and consumed with work and personal issues that I haven't had the time or energy. I'm also slacking on my bargain shopping too. It's driving me insane. I need to get back into it more.

I did get 25 4pks of FREE toliet paper yesterday. Yes, free TP. I also have done a few smaller deals at CVS and made money this week but nothing major. I just don't have the time or energy. I'd honestly love to go out tonight to CVS and do my shopping but don't see how I have the time. And yes I am fully aware how pathetic it is that I want to go to CVS. That's what I consider going out. Bars? Nah, just give me CVS or Target. I'm actually not so much a Target addict anymore. That's a good thing for our bank account though. Ohhhhh... on the bottom of my CVS card it shows that I've saved $2156.23 since Jan. 1st of this year and only spent 346.xx. Now I know I haven't even spent that much b/c themanager at the CVS had to show some of my coupons as me paying cash and he adjusted them later. Ahhh... CVS deals. Gotta love them.

I am trying to plan a yard sale soon. I just need to find the time. I want once of those fun price labelers to mark my items. I know it sounds stupid but I've got so many of each item that it'd be easy and freaking fun to use. I priced them and they're like 80 bucks! Definitely not going to spend the money. I would love a cash register though. Since I was a kid I love going into Office Depot and playing w/ them. Everyone who knows me knows my love for them. I'm hoping one day I'll come home and Lee will have gotten me one. Now what in the heck would I do with it? Use it as a calculator? Yes, I'm odd, but look at my DNA. Yup, the answer lies there. :-) You see the cash register would be great for the yard sale. God I'm odd. My dad you to say that he thought me working at Winn-Dixie in high school would cure me of this thing for them but it didn't. I didn't get to manually punch in the prices. Man that would've taken a long time.

I'm going to go now since they'll be home soon and want to prepare myself. OH! Jackson's smaller size of Crocs came yesterday and the boy refuses to take them off. He fell asleep last night with them on his feet and with the bigger size in his arms. I took them off of his feet when I thought he was asleep but he started saying "shoes on, MY shoes on!" so I put them on and waited until I knew he was passed out for good. So cute. So adorable!

Why oh Why?

Can someone please tell me when things will get better? Will someone please tell me why the bad things in life keep happening over and over again in different variations but to the same person/people? Do any of us ever get a break? Does it ever get better? I'm beginning to think not. I am getting real tired of this game called Life. It's not like the board game where you get to choose the color of your car and pick your driver and then you spin. Hmmm... what'd I get? Oh I get a diploma. Payday is $5000. Spin again, oh right on! I get married! What? I'm now having twins and then adopting a kid? No, this life isn't fair. I guess my dad always says it best when I say "it's not fair", he replies "No Rebekah, the fair is in October".

I'm just ready for things to change. What is it going to take? A miracle? An act of God? Yes, probably an act of God. Does he really listen though? Of course I believe he does but I wonder what his thought process is with certain situations. Sometimes things are so hard on people that don't have a Biblical foundation that it pushes them away and to blame him. How does that makes sense? Those that are vulnerable are pushed further away? Then does that make those around him liable for going further and not drawing the person to God in their time of need? If they don't is that persons blood on their hands?

I know people say "God won't give you more than you can handle", but seriously, can that really be the case. I am just wondering how much one can bare. Just wondering.

I also think that my 6 year old is wiser than I am. She is so smart and intuitive it's scary. I think I should be going to her for advice. She's such a special little girl. Oh and she lost another tooth too. Mrs. Bell pulled it out for her yesterday. She was very disappointed when the tooth fairly only gave her $2. I guess she was spoiled w/ the $20 on the first tooth, then $20 the next day b/c she lost the first $20 by taking it to school when she wasn't suppose to and someone stole it. Then I think she's gotten $5 each time. The Mr. Toothfairy put in the money this time. Usually he's a high roller but I think he was out of dough.

I'm going to run and finish out my day. I hope Lee calls me soon and we can chat. I'm sure I'll pick up the kids and just go crazy once again. Oh, not b/c of the kids but it feels as if all I do is go to work, pick up the kids, bathe, feed 'em and get ready for bed and sleep and start all over again the next day. Never ending cycle. I don't even have enough time for my free deals. It's very sad.

Girls Weekend in Vegas!

I am so excited because we have finally set a location and date for our 3rd Annual Girls weekend! The girls I refer to are Jessica, Leigh, Anne and Dani. We all grew up together in Montgomery and went to church together. Jessica has 2 kids, Blakely 7 as of 2/4, and Bryar will be 3 on 3/19. She is married to Matthew and works at the pre-school at TRBC. Leigh has 2 girls, Kaitlyn will be 6 in May and Abby Grace turned 2 in October. She is an interior designer and currently sells flooring to builders. All of our girls (our first kids) were born 7 1/2 months apart. Our youngest were born within a 9 month period. They both live in Montgomery. Anne is married and and works for Southwest Airlines. She lives in Nashville. Dani is single and is also an interior decorator. She works doing business interiors.

I have no idea why I felt the need to post everyones background. Anyhoo, Anne has received 4 free plane tickets for each of us to use for our weekend. Our weekend is April 13th! I am so excited!!!!! I haven't been on a plane since '94 and certainly no where like this. I have no idea where we are staying yet but we should have that worked out soon. I know it can't be a place too expensive even if we're splitting the room 5 ways.

I don't think anyone really gambles, just slots, except for Dani. I know I'll probably allocate $100 or so for Blackjack and that's it. I know we'll all find time to do so many things. I am so giddy I can hardly stand it. I'll take the kids up to B'ham and we'll fly out of B'ham so it all works out.

Ohhhhh... Marshall's opened in Destin today and I went. I got Jackson 3 of the cutest Polo shirts. They were only $15 so it wasn't too bad. I found Lee 2 gorgeous Polo shirts and a Chaps shirt. Then my score was a 9 West purse that was $62 and I paid 14.99. Then I was over in the luggage dept. and found the matching bag to go with it. Retail $120 and I paid 25 for it. Oh my gosh! I'll be looking good with my matching bags. The bigger one will be perfect for the plane.

I told Mackenzie today that I was going on a trip and that she was going to stay with Grandmama and Grandaddy. I made the mistake of telling her I was going on a plane. Oh my. She was so upset and started crying. She said that when we had talked about a plane ride it was for all of us to go to FW to see Bobbi. I tried to explain to her that this was a mommy only trip and I wasn't going to see Bobbi so she isn't missing out on anything.

Sheh going to see my parents for spring break later this month. The storms are starting to hit us now. I feel so bad for the people in Enterprise. The tornado going through there today and hitting the high school and the roof collapsing is just awful! Eight have died so far and as of 6:30 or so there were students still trapped. I'm going to get read for the storm. It's starting to get bad and I might loose power here. Night!