Crossroads

I was in the car listening to my XM radio yesterday and a new song by Bone Thugs 'n Harmony came on. Wow, I had no idea that those kids were still around. It did bring back a flood of memories of being 16. I sent Leigh a text message reminding her about that song. I remember turning 16 and driving the '89 Corolla around town with her and listening to the CD single. The same song over and over again. I don't know why we liked it so much. I pulled up the video on youtube.com and watched it. It's what I remember but I still am clueless why we liked it so much. On top of that when I looked into the song more it's a song about Eazy E a rapper from way back when. Doing some searching come to find out he died from AIDS back in 1995. Hmmm... if I only had a clue what it was about way back when.

This week has been a little hectic and semi-uneventful. Lee on the other hand has been working his booty off. The corporate trainers got in on Tuesday and have been working hard. His big boss has been in town and then the head of the entire corporation came in on Thursday. Friday they opened up for lunch for the first time as a VIP event. Special invitation until Sunday. It's a practice run for everyone. I went for lunch at the tail end of the shift on Friday. The food was great and there was a lot going on. The trainers were going over things w/ the servers, bussers, etc. I find it really interesting to see how it all runs. Honestly though I could wait on people better than some of the Russians they have in there.

I didn't do much of anything today. Okay, I worked my butt off on the laundry and kitchen. I'm so sick of seeing laundry everywhere. How in the world can we go through so many clothes? It's freaking insane. I was trying to straighten up everything. I know Lee is going crazy with work but it's frustrating that he just strews his clothes and everything all over the place. This morning before he left for work he was printing off papers for work and the ones he didn't need he just literally threw them up in the air. It's driving me nuts. He just has no regard for things. Then he wants to complain about the house and 95% of the stuff in the bedroom is his. Tags, metal hangers, plastic to dry cleaning, socks, shirts, pants, boxers, towels, papers from work, misc. papers from insurance stuff, old job interviews strewn all over my entire house. His excuse is that he doesn't have time to do anything but the truth of the matter is even when he doesn't have anything going on he does things the same way. It's so frustrating. I don't want to hear another word about the house or anything until he can clean up his act. Literally.

I wanted to get out of the house so badly today but I felt as if I couldn't leave until I took care of things around the house. I did make biscuits this morning (from scratch) and then cooked homemade mac 'n cheese for lunch. When I asked Jackson if he wanted lunch he kept saying mac eese over and over again. It's funny b/c that's what I was already planning to make.

We went over to visit Jana yesterday and he was so adorable w/ the dogs. Carrie's dog, Rio, is an American Bulldog. He's huge. I mean his head is bigger than Mackenzie's. He was a little apprehensive of the dogs, but he had a good time feeding them treats. He kept calling Cotton "Coco". He'd get all excited and started saying "Rio". It was so cute. Although I'm sure between him and Mackenzie they made the dogs sick b/c they fed them the entire box of treats.

Hopefully we can get out of the house tomorrow. The only problem is I don't have a clue as to where to go. I thought about going to the beach but I don't think Jackson likes the sand. When we ate at the Black Pearl the night before Lee went out of town we tried to take him on the playground on the beach but he wouldn't let his feet touch. If we did go to the beach I'd have to put a ton of sunscreen all over him since he's not the darkest kid and he has a farmer's tan.

I want some sun though. I want to get darker. I want color to my face and not just my arms from being in the car. Now little Miss Priss is already dark dark dark. She's so beautiful. She played so hard today outside with her friends. Riding bikes and jumping on the trampoline. She passed out so quickly tonight. Little man caught the end of Chicago with me. He liked the singing and dancing at the end.

I think I'm going to try and go to sleep. I stayed up late last night waiting for Lee to come home, which was after midnight, and he's still not home and it's 11:50. I think I'm going to go to sleep. Get some shut eye and be all bright eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning. Goodnight!

Going Postal

I just had to get on here real quick to vent because if I didn't I would go postal. Seirously. I went to get a prescription filled on Saturday, my antibiotic (yes, I know I was suppose to get it filled on Wednesday) and my 2 BP meds. I was told that my insurance was showing terminated. I called the RX part of my insurance plan and they tell me it was cancelled as of 3/31 but it just went into effect b/c they had been filling my prescriptions. She can't tell me any further so I have to call BCBS. Of course BCBS is closed over the weekdend so I call them this morning.

Guess what. My entire companies group plan was terminated due to non freaking payment. I called our Jax office to get the # to the girl who handles insurance for our company b/c I was still on the road. Terri answered the phone and she had just had surgery a week ago Thursday and then was in ICU due to infection/septic, etc. I couldn't believe she was at work this morning but I was starting to tell her and she said while she was in the hospital on Friday she discovered this and has over a 70k hospital bill. She had already spoken to our insurance girl and our regional manager and both said that there was nothing that they could do. Only the owner of our company.

My question is where are the premiums that we have been paying? What the hell is going on? Not only do I have my 2 BP meds to fill but my antibiotic and next week I'll have 2 more to fill. Not a happy camper at all.

So if I'm in jail tonight it's because I went postal.

Disappointment

I was very disappointed with the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. I think that part of it is because no one got their happy ending.

Meredith and Derek - He tells her that he met a girl at Joe's Bar and he flirted with her AND that it was the highlight of his week. They meet up in the locker room when it's time to go to Cristina's wedding and she tells him that she's his girlfriend blah blah blah. He then gives this heartfelt speech saying that he didn't like flirting w/ the girl being the highlight of his week, that Meredith is the love of his life and she is continually running away from him. She doesn't run away from her other friends, but she runs from him. That he can't keep living like this. It hurts him. She needs to let him go. Or stop running.

Cristina and Burke - He's in surgery the day of the wedding and Cristina is sent home to relax before the wedding. She gets stuck wtih Mama Burke and Mama Burke takes off her eyebrows. I have to say it was one of the humorous parts of the show. She tells Dr. Bailey that she has to cut into someone just once. That her eyebrows have been taken away from her and that she needs to feel like a surgeon. Fast forward to the wedding. Burke and Derek are at the altar. Cristina, Meredith, Izzie and Callie are in the back. Cristina freaks because her vows that Callie wrote on her hand came off when she scrubbed into surgery. She is in a panic. Meredith steps in and talks to her like Cristina would have talked to her. She gets ready to walk down the aisle and Burke comes in. She tells him that she was coming that she wasn't ready but now she is. He tells her that if he truly loved her he wouldn't be waiting at the altar. That he wouldn't have her at a big wedding, etc. That he knows she didn't really want this to begin with. She tells him she really wants it, etc. He walks out. Meredith goes to the front of the church and in a way telling Derek the same thing as to their relationship she announces that "It's over, it's so over". Cristina is at the apartment standing in her dress. Meredith comes in. Cristina tells her that all of Burke's beloved items are gone. She starts to freak out and has Meredith cut her out of her dress. She's crying out "I'm free, I'm free".

George, Callie and Izzie - Callie finds out that she made Chief Resident over Miranda. She tells George that she wants to have a baby. She wants to try to have one. He freaks out a little at first but then later finds her and tells her that if it's what she wants then he's all for it. They then try then and there. Izzie, taking a cue from Burke's wedding vows that he receited in surgery, tells George that she loves him and all that mushy stuff but in a really good way. That's when people start coming into the locker room. Everyone is getting ready for the wedding. That's when the interns are given their Final Exam scores. George leaves the room. Callie and Izzie are in the back room at the church. Callie gloats that she and George decided to try for a baby and they had even tried that afternoon. It just rips Izzie apart. George and Miranda (Dr. Bailey) are outside the hospital. Dr. Bailey is sad because she didn't get Chief Resident and we find out that George didn't pass his exam. Miranda feels like she failed George and he feels as if he's failed her. His only options are to quit the program or to do the 1st year all over again. Neither is an option he wants.

Richard (Chief of the hospital) and Adele - Adele came into the hospital last week because she was in a car wreck. Come to find out that she is pregnant and she doesn't want anyone to tell Richard. Richard finds her lying in the floor of the ladies bathroom at the end of last weeks episode. During all of the trying to save Adele Addison has to tell Richard that Adele is pregnant and they're trying to save the baby. Seeing that he and Adele are split up and she's filing for divorce I mean what's a man to think. Richard stays with her. She wakes ups and Addison lets it be known that she had to tell Richard. He just held her hand. Something happens later and she crashes. They wisk her away. Later Addison comes out and is crying. She tells Richard that she's so sorry that she couldn't do more. He takes off running into the operating room. There is Adele lying there. Then she moves. He thought she was dead (as did everyone else, yes, the tears were ready to start flowing). He made it known that he was happy she was okay. He asks if she needs to call someone, meaning, the father of the baby. She tells him that she never told him. She didn't know if he would run. She said that instead he stayed by her side not even knowing if the baby was his. IT WAS RICHARD'S BABY!! She never had kids because he was always so busy with work and the hospital and finally she gets pregnant late in life and looses him. It was a boy.

Karev - Karev and Jane Doe/Eva/Rebecca - he finds out she's being discharged. He makes it known he doesn't think she should go. We all know it's for personal reasons. He loves her. Oh and her husband came back and found her, etc. She begs him to give her a reason not to go, a non-medical reason. He just can't. He goes to the wedding and sits by Addison and she tells him that chances don't come along all the time for happiness and to go and get Eva if that's what he wants adn she knows he does. He goes back to the hospital and she's gone.

George is cleaning out his locker. It's apparent he's decided to quit the program. The new years interns come in. They're all acting so immature as did our favorite interns. They all leave except one comes back. She sticks her head in and acts something if he works there and sees his cleaning out his locker. He tells her no, that he's leaving. She introduces herself as Lexie Grey. She's a new intern. The show ends.

LEXIE GREY IS MEREDITH'S HALF SISTER SHE NEVER MET AND THE SAME FREAKING GIRL THAT DEREK MET IN THE BAR AND FLIRTED WITH. And now I have to wait all summer. Ugh!

Whoa!

The past week and this week has brought in to play some interesting situations. It's funny how life can throw you a curve ball. Not all bad though. Just curve balls when you think it's going to be a fast ball. Hmmm...

A girl from a mortgage company I work with and I were talking and come to find out she had been wanting to find her birth father. I guess she didn't find out until much later in life that her birth father was someone else. I did some digging and it wasn't hard but I found him. She was a little apprehensive about making the initial phone call because of the huge rejection factor. I finally made contact with him last night and bingo, it was him. They spoke and she saw a picture of him and she looks very much like him from what I heard. He was very receptive and had a great attitude about it. I sure wish more birth parents were like him and Brad and Bobbi. It would definitely make reunions a whole lot better.

I can't believe that in 2 days Mackenzie will be finished with 1st grade. I'm going to have a 2nd grader on my hands. Wow! Time sure does fly by. I remember when she was just a little thing. She's still cute as a button, but just so mature and grown up looking and she sounds like a little adult. It's scary sometimes.

I went by Jana's house last night and saw little Gabe for the first time. He is so freaking adorable. He's so tiny too. I can't believe that Jackson was smaller than that. He's already up to 6lbs 11ozs give or take a few and wow is he tiny. But cute cute cute. It made me want another one but this woman's body is shut down from further births. Closed. The factory is shut.

Long Long Week

Lee finally came home this week. He was suppose to get here in the middle of the night on Monday/Tuesday but he didn't get home until 7:30AM Tuesday morning. We were all very glad to see him. I let the kids run out to him first while I watched from the door. It was so cute to see Jackson just run up to him yelling "Daddy, Daddy". Lee got lots of hugs and kisses from the kids. He got even more when he gave them their gifts. He called me Sunday night and told me he wanted to get them something. Mackenzie needed a new bike so he got her the one we had seent at Walmart a few weeks back. Then he scored big time with Jackson. He got him this little version of the Power Wheels jeep. It's Dora. OMG Jackson totally adores it. He was riding it through the house and is so cute on it. Mackenzie just loves her new bike.

Lee wanted the kids to stay at home with him on Tuesday so Mackenzie played hookie. When he suggested this to Mackenzie she said "isn't hookie the game with the stick and the little black thing?". Not hockey. Hookie. I don't know how Lee survived it all day with the kids after being awake for 24 hours but he did.

I have to admit it has taken some adjusting to having him back home. He was use to living in a baren apartment with 1 guy and I've been use to running the household by myself. It's taking some getting use to. Since he's been home there is more of a mess from all of the tons of his stuff. But it's Aokay!

I Figured It Out

The reason I felt so badly is because I hadn't eaten all day. And on top of that I think whatever I ate last night made me sick. I think I just needed some food. I feel better now. Not 100% but better. I think it might also be my nerves. Lee coming home is a big deal. I think my nerves are just shot.

I don't know what made me think of this just now, but I was remember the time I was electrocuted when I was pregnant with Jackson. It's not funny, but looking back on the experience some of what I predicted turned out to be true.

Election day 2004 Lee had just left for work and I was getting ready to iron my clothes. I think he had already taken Mackenzie to school or either she was at my parents. Mind you I'm about 7 1/2 months pregnant and I go to plug in the iron. Something was wrong w/ the outlet or the iron and all of the sudden my hand became the conductor for the electricity. I remember being on the phone with Lee and then just screaming and dropping the phone.

There were sparks everywhere and I look at my hand/arm and it's literally charred. Black marks all up and down my arm and the palm of my hand. I notice 2 holes burned in my skin. There was a huge on in the center of my palm and the other hole was at the top of my middle finger. Apprently the electricity went in one hole and out the other.

I had forgotten that I was even talking on the phone between the crying and the pain. I hear Lee screaming through the phone at me. Of course I scared him to death and he had no idea what had happened. He had already turned around to come home to check on me as he was still by the house. He walks in and lord was I a mess. Charred arm and all.

After the Dr. said that Jackson would be okay and after I voted I joked to just about everyone that my child was going to come out with white hair and it'd be sticking straight up. He didn't have the white hair but his hair literally stuck straight up for a good 8-12 weeks or so. Man how life is weird.

The Countdown is Almost Over

He'll be home soon. In less than 12 hours. I can't wait. I have to admit that the time that Lee has been gone has flown by. It doesn't seem like 6 weeks. Okay, 6 weeks and 3 days. But who is really counting?

I worked my booty off this weekend on the house and garage. All of my grand plans for the house and everything didn't pan out as I thought they would but it doesn't really matter. Who was I kidding in trying to accomplish so much while he was gone and with 2 kids at home. The garage does look like a new place. You can actually walk all the way through. It's organized as well. I can't believe it.

I cleaned out my closet and the kids of all of the clothes that are old or I knew I'd never wear. I finally hung up/put up 6 weeks worth of laundry. I am very proud of what all I did. I am exhausted from it all though. I don't feel like myself today though. I feel funny. Semi out of it. I don't know why. I did take one of my meds 2 hours later than normal b/c I had to get it filled but that can't be the cause of it. I wish I could go home.

Mackenzie has a field trip today to the Gulfarium. She is so excited about it. She wouldn't stop talking about it all weekend. She woke up at the crack of dawn this morning to remind me. She was ready before I knew it. Actually before I had to wake up. She was so worried this morning that we were going ot be late to school. I can remember getting that excited over things. I probably drove my parents nuts as well.

I'm off to do some more work. I just had to stop in to my page. :-)

Grey's is Dark

She died. I can't believed they killed her off. Not that she had a major roll, but wow. My heart sank so low. Like this is real. Then Meredith's dad hit her. He said "I trusted you". She didn't do it. It's going to have a negative impact on McDreamy and her. It makes me sad.

What are we going to do about George and Izzy? Seriously. This cannot be good. I feel badly for Callie. She's different. Her character is. I don't know if it's because she's larger than the size negative -0- actresses or if it's b/c she's truly odd on the show. But I like her. She's cool.

I just finished the episode and it's not going to be cool if Eva, the girl who can't remember who she is, really does remember and just hasn't told Karev. I think he's falling for her. I hope she isn't playing him. I'll a hafta go after her if she is. He's turning sensitive and we don't need to mess that up.

Addison's trip to Hollywood was fun. I have to say that the new spin off show is going to be great. I don't think it'll be a major competition for Grey's b/c they're on the same network and can't be in the same time slot.

Enough commentary about Grey's. It was just sooooo good tonight. Amazing. In a few weeks I'm going to be so depressed because no more new episodes until Sept. Doesn't it seem like they start later and later?

Bratty Kids

Being the nice person that I am I said I would watch my neighbors daughter tonight while she did a run for her job. This is a little devil child. She has a sweet spirit, but she's so rambuncious and all over the place. Non-stop. She's only been here 36 minutes and I feel as if my head is about to spin. Running all over the place. Not stopping when I tell her to. Ignoring me. Tearing my house apart. These is one of the two siblings that tore my house apart a few months back when I watched them as a favor for their mom. I have to admit that I love my kids to death, but I'm not the best at dealing with other's kids. Ugh. kids.

I'm watching The Office right now and this show just kills me. It's one of the best shows ever. And there is a 2 hour Grey's Anatomy tonight! I'm going to DVR it as always and start it later tonight. There is no way I can watch it while I've got kids running all around. Great quote from Michael on The Office, "As soon as that was coming out of my mouth I knew it was wrong". That sounds like the story of my life.

My Grandmother Godfrey has been trying to learn how to use the internet where she lives now. I thought it was cute as can be. Dad told me she tried to email him but it didn't go through. When i was on the phone with her last week I created her a yahoo email account and password. I gave both of these to her when I was doing it. I sent her an email with the link to this blog. Earlier this week she had help getting online and she got my email and came to this site. I think she was shocked as to how much I spill on here. I told her it's free therapy. I often feel so much better typing things on here.

A lot of times there are things I just cannot say. I would love a place to put those thoughts down and quite frankly don't care if strangers read it but it's not things that I want everyone to have access to. Well, those who knew me. Don't want to spill too much.

I'm so ready for Lee to come home. It's flown by but it's just been a long time. I'm drained. Theh kids miss him. Jackson's been saying "daddy at work" for weeks now, I need a weekend day to sleep in until 8. You get the idea. I know I won't be able to sleep Monday night because I'll know he'll come in during the night. I'm wondering if he'll be able to have restraint and not wake up the kids. I know it's been very hard on him. I think he has a new appreciation for all of us.

I'm really tired of work. I'm burnt out. I wish I could do a job from home. Something computer related. I have amazing typing skills, can do research online, etc. I just wish I could find something to match up with that. I just can't continue in a job that is stressful and that I feel is affecting my health. I really think it has an impact on my BP. Unfortunately I have to continue to work until I just happen upon a windfall of money. I'm waiting on a trust fund to magically appear. Where or where are you trust fund? Just enough to pay my mortgage? Okay, not gonna happen, I know.

Where oh where is that girls mommy? Not here that's for sure.

I just love my kids though. They are constantly keeping me on my toes. I just want to eat them up. Okay, I'm rambling about nothing. Nonsense. gonna get ready to kick the kid out and then get my kids to bed and then find me some dinner and then watch Grey's. Ahhh... the highlights of my week.