Getting Back into the Groove

I have to say it has not been easy getting back into the groove of things at work. I have not had the best work week and in all honesty, I wish I could quit my job. I am not being stimulated or using my mind because quite frankly there isn't enough work to be done. I have to keep busy and my mind active or I end up going crazy. I am watching myself to make sure that the lack of work, motivation and mind stimulating activities doesn't bring out my depression/bipolar. When I hit rock bottom in 2002 my job I believe had a lot to do with my situation. It is no where near as bad as it was at Regions, but if this continues I do not see how it can be healthy for my mental and emotional well being. I have looked to see what employment opportunities are out there but sadly there are none. I even looked beyond my field but it's just dry. Unless I want to be a pipe fitter or something manual then I don't have a prayer.

The auction ended for the computer I put up on ebay and we made a nice profit off of it. It's just going back to the pot to help pay for the items we did decide to keep. I'm thinking perhaps we should not have purchased all of the items that we did, but how can you not when it's so inexpensive? I'm on the new laptop right now and I love it soooo much. Mackenzie told me tonight that she wanted a computer for Christmas. I am so giddy with excitement because that is one of her gifts. I know Lee was looking for a Dora mouse. I'm thinking she would enjoy a Barbie one better. I'll have to see what I can find.

It has been unusually warm weather this week. The high tomorrow is suppose to be 77. It's still 63 degrees right now and it's already 10:00PM. I think I'm going to try and head to bed. I'm going to dream of what it would be like if Lee was a GM of Margaritaville and I stayed home w/ Jackson and picked Mackenzie up from school when it let out every day. Maybe Jackson would go to preschool but it's less than $150 a month. I could work part time doing something I love but be able to finally see my kids grow up. Have energy to have dinner on the table. Have energy and go to all of Mackenzie's practices and games. Yes, it's all a dream but a nice one to have.

My Black Friday Experience!

Well, everyone knows how crazy I am, but my Black Friday shopping just confirms it all. My sister was suppose to go with me, but of course she was too chicken to brave the cold with us and didn't want to leave Ben. Lee and I wanted to get in line for Best Buy and there computer deals. I had read on my forums that the lines had already started to form outside of the Best Buys around the country. So we leave my parents house at 9 or so to get in line. Yes, that's 9PM. We get to the Hoover BB and there were 20 people or so in line. We decided to check out the other 2 BB's to see how long their lines were. Oh yeah, word was out, one had 40 and the other had too many to count. So we went off to the original BB. By the time we got there there were 75 people in line.

So in the 30 degree weather we settled in with our lawn chairs for a long winters night. We befriended the ladies behind us and the girl behind us. I don't have a winter coat and was freezing my booty off. Lee volunteered to go to WalMart to get me some gloves and a blanket. Well... the man was gone forever. I was standing there freezing to death so I call him to find out where he is. He tells me he's at WalMart trying to find out what the good deals are, etc. I ask him to hurry b/c I'm freezing my tush off. The nice ladies behind me let me use one of their sleeping bags, so I stepped in it and zipped myself up and snuggled in my chair. Lee finally comes back after being gone for what felt like forever. He ended up stopping at Comp USA too!?!?!?!?! I was freezing my butt of and he was strolling around for deals. Now I can appreciate the bargain shopper but man I was cold and waiting for my mittens and blanket.

Once he got there we all settled in. Then I had to pee. The girl behind us and I went to the gas station and went potty. There was a crazy wacko woman who was trying to get me to give her $1.75 in cash in exchange for a $1.75 coupon for cigarettes. I lied and told her I didn't have any cash on me but also opened my big mouth and told her that if she can't afford to pay full price for cigarettes she didn't need to be smoking. She was the epitome of white trash, dressed in flip flops, torn up jeans and a holy t-shirt in 30 degree weather. Yeah, crazy. This is at midnight. When we were leaving she got mad because no one would give her money and she pitched a fit about people not helping out and then sped off in her pinto. Gotta love Alabama.

Okay, so I went back to our wonderful camping spot and settled in for the night. I laid down on the ground in the sleeping back and used the blanket Lee got for my pillow. I totally submerged myself in the bag and fell asleep. I woke up around 2:20 and had to pee so bad. I think it was the cold ground making me have to go potty. My feet were frozen, let me tell you it wasn't fun. I woke up so disoriented it wasn't funny. I got in the car and went looking for a bath room. The first gas station I had gone to earlier was closed for restocking and so I ventured down US31. I finally found a place and man it felt great to go potty. I took off my toboggan and oh my! My hair was a sight to see.

So I get back to the home base and 3:30 rolls around and everyone is packing up their bags, chairs, etc. and getting closer in line. Employees started arriving and everyone started getting excited. The man came out w/ a bullhorn talking about how a piece of paper for each limited quantity item would be passed out starting at the front of the line and once they were gone they were gone. People from the back started getting to the front of the line and cutting in and acting like they were just asking questions to the BB employees. There was one lady in particular. I call her the "Money Grubbing Whore". Yes, she was so nasty. She was this black lady who was in her mid 30's to 50's (it was hard to tell) and had on tight tight tight leggings. You could see ever roll she had ever eaten. **I am not bashing fat people, only her, she was just nasty and well, just... I don't know** People kept telling her to go back to the end of the line. She'd get an attitude and say she was just trying to ask a question. Whatever.

So, we were there for the $400 HP laptop and $400 HP desktop. I don't think either of us really thought we'd get one. I don't know what we thought. Anywho... the ticket lady came around for the desktop computers and stopped 2 people in front of us and said she ran out of tickets but would be back with the last bit she had. Well, she had another lady pass those same tickets back out and I'll be darn if she didn't start back at the beginning of the line. Yeah, we should've gotten a ticket but no, we didn't. Lee and I tried to talk to the associated but it was bedlam and no one wanted to help us and kept saying they didn't know what was going on and that it didn't matter if someone got 2 tickets because they could only buy 1 per person. I tried to explain to them that they could give it to another person or even sell it as people were doing. We finally got them to get the store manager.

Jason, the manager, came over and we explained to him what happened and if his employees had started where they left off then we would have gotten a ticket and it wasn't fair the way they did it. We had been waiting in the cold, blah blah blah. At first the said the same spill about only 1 per person then he finally understood where we were coming from. He said he'd come back and he did. He was a man of his word. He came back and told us to go inside where the computers were and find Carolyn in the pink shirt.

The doors opened a little before 5. Oh my gosh! It was so exciting. We were getting all ready. Lee rushed to the computers and I rushed to find the $20 Canon Picture printers. There were people all over the store. It was INSANE!!! Lee started talking to Carolyn and she was only told there was 1 of us and not too. I had to find Jason but he got it all taken care of. They were out of the Black Friday Compaq computers so we got to pick out a comparable one. They tried to tell us we had to take a Compaq even though there wasn't one that had the same specs or near the same specs but I reminded them that HP and Compaq are the same company. We ended up getting some really sweet computers. Athlon AMD 64 x2 3800ghz processor, 1024MB Ram, 200GB hard drive, 15" flat panel monitor, free printer. I mean it wasn't a bad deal.

We loaded our 2 computers onto the cart we had and looked for more loot. We picked up two 250GB hard drives to store our data on for $69.99 a piece and they retailed for $199.99. Then I picked up two HP Photosmart 385 Printers for $79.99 that retail for $149.99. Let me tell you I already used one and it is really good. Definitely worth the money. We got the 2 Canon Photo printers I mentioned earlier for $20 that retail for $79.99. Oh... they had the new $250 XM Radio's for $99.99 and came w/ a $50 mail in rebate. Well the guy told us that they would ring up for $50... when we got to the cashier and they rang up 99.99 we told her she called back there and they had to adjust them. So I've got one essentially for free and one to sell on ebay. They had 100 packs of the DVD-R's for $4.99 and they retail for $69.99. I got Mackenzie the High School Musical DVD game, 4 1GB SD cards for $14.99, 2 2GB Micro Cruzer for $29.99 and... I can't think what else. Oh yes. The mackdaddy of them all. We had a ticket for the $899.99 HP Laptop. We handed them our ticket to see if we could get the $397.99 HP Laptop oh yeah, it worked. They let us have it. It retailed for $899.99. It is smooth too. I like it better than our other laptop. It's smaller, lighter, has a 120MB hard drive, AMD Turion 64 x2 processor, DVD R/RW, Lighscribing (oh, it's so freaking cool), 1024MB of RAM. It's not as powerful as our "gaming" machine but it's perfect for me.

Oh, we got a 17" flat panel monitor for $79.99 and a 15" LCD TV for $129.99 and it retails for $299.99.
I think we got a few more things but wow! We made out great. We decided to keep one of the desktops and put it in our bedroom. We're going to give Mackenzie the old desktop for Christmas but put the new flat panel monitor with it. We're going to clean up all of the hard drives and move everything to the new hard drive and make it so we can access it wirelessly. We are keeping the laptop so each of us can have one. I put the other HP Photosmart Printer, XM Radio, hard drive, SD cards, desktop and Canon printer on ebay. The desktop is up to $630 right now and has a few hours left. I've got 25 people watching it. Not too bad, huh? That's $230 I made off of it without doing any work. Not too shabby.

Okay, so while we were in line to check out (people buying computers had to check out at customer service) the Money Grubbing Whore came back. I was the next in line to check out and she was standing next to me. I very nicely asked her if she was trying to get a computer. She told me yes. I gently told her that if she was getting a computer she needed to get in line for customer service and I pointed where the line ended. She started going off about me to the man next to her and said "I don't know why she has to be all up in my bidness, she must think I'm trying to cut in line but I've already checked out" (and she pulled out her receipt) and some other derogatory comments. I of course opened my big mouth and said to her "I saw you cutting in line while you were outside and don't act like you didn't b/c you have a $250 laptop in your cart and there were only 8 given out and I know you didn't sleep outside like the rest of us. People like you are the reason I moved from Alabama." Yeah, she was nasty. She gives Money Grubbing Whores a bad name.

We finally check out and it was an ordeal but it was all okay. I went to go pull the car around and Lee was talking to a lady when I pulled up. She was taking notes and I was thinking to myself "oh no, what'd he do now?". It was a reported. Yes, a report talking to him about our purchases. It was quite funny. She talked to me while he loaded up the car. I told her that we might have to rent a u-haul trailer to make it home. I'll be durn if we didn't make the front page of the Birmingham newspaper. Now she quoted me in a way that made me sound like a stupid person but other than that it was quite funny. And guess what. We did rent a u-haul.

After we left Best Buy we stopped a few other placed. ToysRUS, Walmart, CVS and Staples. I got a few other good deals but not as good as Best Buy. I just need to make sure all my stuff sells on ebay so I can pay for it all. haha

Now who wants to come with me next year? I'll save you some money. Or you can give me your list and I'll do your shopping for you. It was fun. I can't wait for next year.

Thanksgiving Pictures

Here are some pictures from Thanksgiving! Enjoy!

Thanksgiving!

Wow! What a long but great week it has been! We left on Wednesday around 3:00 for the trip to Birmingham. I would have like to have left earlier but that just didn't work out, but that's okay. We still made it in semi-decent time and had a good drive up there. We got to the house around 8 or so and I was exhausted! I quickly changed into my shorts and t-shirt. Ben got to the house about 15 minutes after us so the entire drive we were close to each other. Mackenzie was sooooo happy to see grandmama. I have to say Jackson warmed back up to my parents fairly quickly. I think it's in part because my dad is so good with both of them. He's "getting his nose", doing his "good night...good morning" pop up routine (which gets the gutteral laughs from Jackson) and all sorts of fun things with him.

Lee and I were both exhausted by Wednesday because of staying up late and working and all sorts of things (taking it for the team). Needless to say we went to bed fairly quickly once we got there. I ended up sleeping with Elizabeth because Jackson kept kicking me off of the bed and the double bed wasn't really the best thing for 3 of us. Mackenzie slept w/ Grandmama. And Ben, well he got to sleep on the couch all by his little self. Mom's rules. Elizabeth woke me up in the night telling me I was snoring. I could sorta tell it was happening because my nose was all stopped up. I remember I kept trying not to snore when I went back to sleep.

We got up early on Thursday morning and drove over to Georgia to my cousin Tara's house. I have to say the drive wasn't too bad. We pulled up right after my dad and grandmother and my cousin Neil and his group pulled in behind us. Our timing was perfect. Mackenzie fit right in with the very rambuncious 4 year old Sara Beth. They fed off of each others energy. We got inside and tried to get Jackson and Jonathan (the only son of my true 1st cousin) to interact. Jonathan is adorable. He just turned 2 in October. They both enjoyed the dry erase board.

It was great seeing all of the family members that I haven't seen since Thanksgiving 2002. It was hysterical because Mackenzie, my precious ham, has talked in the highly Georgian accent since we left. She even asked for someone to pass the bread during lunch in a heavy thick accent. I remember leaving there and talking a little more southern for a week or so. Mackenzie fell right in with Kaylin and Coltin (Brandy's twins who are 10) and Whitney (Tara's 10 year old daughter). Okay, the cutest thing EVER was me going to check on Jackson in Whitney's room and they told me he was just fine. Whitney came out of the room with Jackson was soooo sweet and adorable with him and asked him if he wanted to go outside. She carried him out and took care of him. It was just so sweet. She looks just like her Uncle Josh and is so country sounding it's adorable!!! I just wanted to eat her up.

Some things never change at Thanksgiving. Lee, me, Elizabeth, Ben, Neil and Laura ate on the screened porch with the kids. haha It actually worked out well since Jackson and Jonathan spilled some of their food. It was just funny though to realize we'll never eat with the adults.

I hate that I didn't get to spend much time with my Grandmother. She looked so good in the pictures we took but I know she hasn't been well. I worry for her. I don't know how I would be able to handle it if something happened to her. She and I have been very close since I was a girl. Even though she can be ornry (and I'll tell her to her face) and go off on tangents that are rude I still love her. I can't imagine her not being around. I'm the only grandkid that ever calls her and has always no matter what been there. It's not because I had to but it's because I wanted to.

We went back to Birmingham and ate dinner again at my parents house. We also had my mom's birthday cake. She's now 52! Getting older! Wilson is so sweet and thoughtful. He made her the usual carrot cake and put 53 candles (1 to grow on) on the cake and spelled out Joy. I also hate I didn't get to spend more time with Avonelle and Wilson.

Here is where the trip gets fun. Lee and I left my parents house about 8:45 to head out to Best Buy to wait in line for Black Friday. The adventure gets better. More to come on that later.

What a Packed Day

Wow, yesterday we had a full day. Lee was off so we decided to go to Panama City and visit Toys R Us and the mall. Mackenzie is in desperate need of winter clothes so that was the main motivation. I was very disappointed with Toys R Us. They did not have the great clearance deals as other TRU stores. I found the items but they weren't marked as low. It was very sad. I was hoping to luck out like others. We met Ben at TGI Friday's and ate lunch. It was nice seeing Ben and we'll see him later this week too for Thanksgiving. We headed out to the mall and were there forever it seemed. We got Mackenzie a beautiful dress that she can wear to see Beauty and the Beast w/ grandmama and I got her another beautiful dress. She got some tops as well as gloves and a hat to match her new sweater. Oh yeah, she got the matching purse too. I'm telling you Lee is a sucker for her. This was all picked out while Jackson was trying on clothes. I got him 2 pair of jeans and 2 pair of pants from The Children's Place along w/ a sweater and 2 tops. Oh... we also got him the cutest pair of overalls. I found a pair of jeans at Dillards (I think) that fit so well. I took a chance got a smaller size than I use to normally wear and they fit. Yup, it was semi exciting. Now my problem is my bras don't fit. I lost at least a cup size and it's all padding. There is a huge loss of wear my boobs were. Actually (and yes, I did just look down my shirt to confirm this) my right one is smaller than the left. It may have gone down 2 cups. Hopefully I can find time to run out and buy some bras before we leave for Birmingham.

The best time we had last night was at the arcade. I bought Jackson a Little Tykes skeeball thingy last year and just opened it about a month ago. He and Mackenzie love it. So I promised Mackenzie when we got ready to leave the mall we could go play skeeball. We had a blast. She loved it and was really good. Jackson even started playing. He couldn't get any points but he'd get the ball up there. He'd go crazy clapping his hands and was so excited everytime it went up. I have to admit I played skeeball too. I could've played for hours. We collected all of the tickets and gave them to Mackenzie to cash them in. She picked out one of those accordian type fans. Of course before we got home it ripped slightly and then once we were home Jackson finished it off. Mackenzie was crying hysterically because of it and I couldn't help but laugh because this is what always happens to things from the arcades. Right as she was crying Jackson stepped on it and really broke it in two. Mackenzie finally saw the humor and we were all laughing.

I'm very excited about leaving for Birmingham on Wednesday. I'm also thrilled that Lee is coming with us. I think it's going to be great. I can't wait to show off the kids. I also can't wait for Mackenzie to finally meet her cousin Jonathan who she has seriously talked about since he was born and told people about but she hasn't even met him. I am officially turning into my mom. Growing up she would always want us to dress up so nicely to Thanksgiving. It didn't matter if all of my other cousins had on sweatshirts and jeans, oh no, we had to look perfect. It also didn't matter if year after year I got my clothes filthy or even ripped my jeans playing football, I always looked nice for the first 5 minutes. Well, I've already been planning what everyone is wearing. I want to make sure everyone is all "pretty". It's sick, really. I know Mackenzie is rough and will be out there playing and getting dirty but it doesn't matter. I want her to look darling even if it's only for a moment.

I'm also ready for Black Friday. I hope Elizabeth doesn't want to go to the mall first. ***side note, Elizabeth call me when you read this, I want to talk to you about Black Friday*** There isn't too much in the mall that is thrilling. I want to go to either Circuit City or Best Buy and get the good electronic deals and resell them and make some money honey. Lee is trying to bribe Ben to go w/ him. He offered to split our profits 50/50 and we'll even front the money if only Ben will keep him company. I hope he will. :-) Okay, I'm going to finish my busy day at work.

Ain't I Cute?

Jana took this picture tonight at my house. I have to say the picture didn't turn out half bad of me. Too bad it isn't a little clearer and that Jackson was looking away. Ain't I cute? hehe

Why Do I Worry?

Why in the world do I worry so much? I'm a nervous wreck for a stupid reason. There truly isn't a reason to, but of course I do. I can't help it. This is me. I'm nuts! At least Jana understands me more than anyone else in this world. I think I also inherited "worry" genes as well. :-)

The Auburn game was heart stopping! Jana and I would just start yelling and screaming. Jackson a couple of times started yelling "go, go, go". So adorable! I thought for a while we were going to just throw it all away but no, we made it! Because of the OSU/Michigan game hype our game didn't get much attention. That game seemed pretty intense while watching it via the picture in picture thingy.

The kids were crazy tonight! Now Jana knows why I go crazy sometimes over the weekends. They were all over the place and just bonkers. No one wanted to settle down and I'm telling you I thought I was going to pull my hair out. But I survived the night with all of my hair intact. They're both sweet and adorable but sometimes they can be a little much coming at you all at once.

There is nothing on TV right now so I'm watching Dr. 90210. Yeah, Dr. Rey is just sleazy to me. I would deck him if I was a patient and he talked all sexually harassingish to me. I can't believe anyone would want to go to him. I'm watching a tummy tuck right now where they tightened the muscles and cut out huge flaps of skin. I'm dying for a tummy tuck but eww! I am not feeling it right now. I'm better off not knowing what happens. When I had my breast reduction I knew about the surgery but hadn't seen it done on TV
or anything. I was also so young, barely 14. Reading up on the surgery now and knowing what they did it's scary to think of. How gross is it that they pin your areola to your stomach while they do the surgery and then reattach them? And there is a chance that your nipples could "die" and fall off. Thank goodness I didn't have any problems. I lucked out and had age on my side. I was told when I went for my 6 week post op visit that I had healed better than any other patient he had had. The crazy thing is I'd love to have a slight reduction. Ideally, if I wasn't scared of implants and the cost of them, I'd love a mini-reduction and a small implant to give me a lift. After having 2 kids my breats are soooo saggy. I'm only 26 and shouldn't have the 90 year old lady boobies that go straight to the floor. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for my tummy tuck. How great would it be to have a huge slab of fat cut off and to have my stomach muscles tightened so they could actually become a 6 pack if I want (and hell no I don't want a 6 pack). I just want a flat stomach and 1 stomach only instead of the 2 I have no. I also would like to have my sides and back lipo'ed to give it an even look. Throw in procelain veneers and I'm on cloud 9. No more gaps. I've had them my entire life and I hate them. It's the one thing I would change about me before anything else. I can't help it. Braces won't work so veneers are my only route. Those suckers are expensive though. This entire paragraph sounds like I'm so self-asorbed but I'm not. It'd just be nice to feel comfortable in my own skin and confident. I would like to be able to be with my husband without cringing the entire time in the dark because I hate my body. I think it'd be better for him too. Okay, I'm so going. This topic has gone way off what it should've been.

I Hate Men! Well, Just One

Tomorrow is the big game. Well, I guess one of the big games. Auburn vs. Alabama The game starts at an odd time. 3:34PM. OSU vs. Michigan St. starts at 3:30PM. Ummm... did they feel the need to start first since they're #1 & #2? I mean come on, it's just tacky. :-)

Today work was just miserable. I was put in a rather unpleasant perdicament today. I don't like having to deal with one boss and then the stinkin' marketer who now wants to be the boss. It's not fun being stuck in the middle. Apparently my marketer was told he's not getting paid for these 9 mega deals I brought in. I can totally understand that in a way because he did not go out and get them and won't be able to cultivate a local relationship with anyone and bring in more business from it and besides the contact is a friend of mine. Yesterday morning he confronts me in my office and asks me how my bonuses (well, when I was paid them) are calculated and told me he's not going to compete against me. I was caught off guard. I don't have anything to do with marketing and my bonuses were not based on what deals I brought in but based on what I closed. I explained that to him. He has a beef with my boss, the guy who hired him, because he wants to be paid on everything that closes. He started to have an attitude with me. I guess he didn't get paid his bonus for last month with yesterdays paycheck. I have nothing to do with it at all. I don't handle payroll but he kept hounding me about it. I told him to call his boss. What makes it even worse is I get a call today from a good friend of mine and a loan officer at Countrywide. You see my marketer did a breakfast meeting with them yesterday. For one he was late. He was suppose to be there at 8 and we got a call at 8:15 saying he was late. He rushed and left the office. The branch manager called shortly after and told him not to come. I had to call him on his cell. He told me to act like I had not gotten a hold of him. So the man goes anyway. She only let him speak for 5 minutes but apparently he pissed everyone off. My friend told him that everyone kept comment on how pushy he was and how he reapeatedly told them he use to own his own mortgage company and he was cocky and arrogant sounding. I totally understand where she is coming from. He doesn't take no for an answer. I think part of his problem is he hasn't been in the title business before and maybe doesn't know the best approach. All he can see is the approach he took with the mortgage compay and just substituting the title information. I've got a huge problem though when the loan officers are saying that they won't send us any business because they could not stand him and his demeanor to them. Essentially it hurts me. And the marketer doesn't have to have this job and I do. I have to contribute to the household and cannot afford for this to fail. I can't exactly talk to him about what was said and my concerns b/c he's going to know who exactly said it to me. She asked me to keep it in confidence and I don't want to break her trust. On the other hand if I go to my boss to talk to him about it I don't want my marketer to think I'm going above him. I asked Bonnie for advice and she wasn't sure what to do. In the end I decided to call my boss and talk to him. He just told me to call my marketer and totally ignored the fact that I know he'll go straight to the source and then she'll know I said something. You see he'll go to her to explain why he's right, blah blah blah. He's driving me nuts. I cannot stand being in the office with him. He does not make things easy. I hate to say it but some of his ideas are flat out stupid and are not going to work. He wasted over a month marketing budget on these stupid DVD's for a "library" in our office for realtors to check out. Come on. Not one has been checked out and they aren't going to do that. He may be a great motivational speaker but he's not out there to motivate the realtors and loan officers. He's not suppose to be so pushy and irritating that they just refuse to work with me. The thing that he's told me is that he's consistantly heard from everyone he's meet nothing but good things about me and that I have a great reputation. I don't want him trying to kill it and turn people off like Crazy Clay our last marketer. I give up. I'm stuck in the middle. I don't like it. If I could afford to I'd quit tomorrow. I don't like going to work now and it's a shame. I'm sick of pulling off MLS info and sending out 100's of letters that are stupid. No one wants the free stupid kit. Let's be real there isn't really anything in it. And for the people to get it that I'm sending the letters out to they have to request it from their realtor and then their realtor has to request it from us. If you only read the letter. The first one, it was well, just awful. I gently asked him if he wanted to keep wording about the fees, etc. and he said yes. It made no sense whatsoever. Bonnie even agreed with me. He doesn't understand anything about the business we're in and can't see that what he wrote sounds ignorant and is just wrong and any educated realtor will know that. Okay, enough about my vent. I'm just frustrated. I want to quit and stay at home and watch Oprah and Dr. Phil all day long.

8 Days!

Only 8 more days until Black Friday!!!! Woo hoo! I'm beyond excited! I don't really have a desire really to go to the galleria this year. I'm not thrilled w/ the KB sale so I don't need to go there first. I'm thinking we need to be lined up at Circuit City or Best Buy first. Which ever one Lee doesn't go to we should. I'm thinking Circuit City since it's next to the galleria. I also have to go to Toys R Us. There are 4 things that are dirt cheap that I need to get the kids for Christmas. There is only one of me so it's going to be hard to make it everywhere all at once. Too bad Mackenzie can't drive or I'd have her out at the stores too.

I am just loving the Christmas season. I went to Target today for the first time in a while and I looked at all of the decorations. It gives me such a warm feeling. I get all warm and tingly inside. The holidays reminds me of family. I only wish everyone was around me and could surround me. If only I could have a huge gathering of family at the house and could show everyone our decorations and the tree once it gets put up. It's so hard not having family around. And now I have even more family and not one single person out of the entire dysfunctional family tree live near me. Not even within 3 hours. I've got 4 1/2 hours, 7 hours to GA, 12 hours to Texas, 12 hours to Charlotte, 15 hours to Ohio. There are homes behind our house for sale. Anyone want to move down here? ... I figured as much.

Grey's Anatomy was on tonight and was fabulous as always. I can't believe they're going to have a new episode on Thanksgiving. I know I won't be able to watch it but I'll be sure to DVR it here. The songs are always so perfect and go right along with the story line. It can make you really feel the emotions of what's going on. The show always leaves me feeling wistful. I don't know why.

Tomorrow is Mackenzie's Thanksgiving lunch at Golden Corral. Lee and I are going to eat lunch with her. She is so excited about us coming. She wanted us to bring Jackson with us but we politely declined. On Tuesday they are having a pajama party. They'll be eating snacks and watching movies. Man how I wish I could watch movies all day long for a day. How nice that would be.

I wish I could bottle up what all I've felt and gone through since I met Bobbi and Brad. I hope I can forever remember what all of this has felt like. I do so wish that we have at least 26 more years to get to know each other. I am the happiest have been in such a long time. I want both of them to know how much job they have brought me. I love both of you very much for the sacrifices you made, for loving me then, for loving me now and for allowing me to build beautiful relationships. Neither of you will every know how deeply you have both touched my hear.

O.J. Simpson to Discuss Killings

O.J. Simpson to Discuss Killings

In a new TV interview and book, O.J. Simpson discusses how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

The two-part television interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29 on Fox, the TV network said Tuesday.
"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

"This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. Its the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," Mike Darnell, executive vice president of alternative programming for Fox, said in a statement.

The interview, conducted with book publisher Judith Regan, will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale Nov. 30. The book "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed," the network said.

The book is published by ReganBooks, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers run by Regan.
Simpson, who now lives in Florida, was acquitted in a criminal trial of the 1994 killings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman. Simpson was later found liable in 1997 in a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Goldman family.
Messages left with Simpson and his attorney Yale Galanter were not returned Tuesday night.

Ummmm...
Seriously... after doing an interview such as this who in the world is going to believe he didn't do it? How crude and tacky this is. Obviously he does not take his own childrens wellbeing into consideration. I cannot imagine how devestating this is for them to hear. We all know he's the one that murdered Nicole and Ron. I still remember where I was the day the verdict was read. It was during 5th period Health class w/ this black coach who couldn't pronounce my name correctly. He always called me Garfield. I was in the dungeon classroom and no one wanted to leave to go to lunch because of the verdict. All the TV's were on in the entire school. As soon as the verdict was read all of the 1000+ black students went tearing through the school. They were on top of the lunch room tables and going bananas. I think that day was the first time I was actually scared to be white. I'll never forget the fear I felt being this 15 year old girl in a classroom w/ only 3 other white students and the black people going off on us and going nuts. I guess it's a memory I'll never forget just like those who remember where they were when JFK was shot.

Too Many Posts For Today

Why in sam hill have I been posting so much today? I have no idea. I just have had one of those days. I feel like I've got so much to say but in all honesty there isn't much to what I write. Lee's famous saying while playing black jack is "When my mother asks me on Thanksgiving what I am thankful for I tell her the Ace of Spades (or whatever the card is that won him a hand)". On Thanksgiving this year I will tell everyone how thankful I am for my new found family. Everyone, Bobbi, Tabitha, Brad, Amy, Jed, Eileen, Bob and the rest of them.

When Brad called tonight I found out that Jed is in the hospital. He has an infection in his leg. I feel so badly that he is going through this. They are going to do a CT to see about the infection. I hate that he goes through pain on a daily basis. I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do sometimes because I'm healthy and he isn't. I shouldn't take my health for granted because others aren't that fortunate. One thing I am amazed by is his attitude in all of this. He seems to always be positive and in good spirits.

Jana left the house just a bit ago. She watched Grey's Anatomy from last week. I talked to Brad and put Jackson to bed while she watched the show. Jana and I caught the end of the Toledo game. I have to say we had a good laugh at the mascot. Brad and Amy were right, it is quite humorous. This guy posted a comment on Jana's myspace page about how pretty her eyes were. We looked at his page and his story is so sad. His little boy is just adorable and he just seems so sad.

Ok... I'm watching L&O Criminal Intent on the DVR and I have to say I don't like the new captain on here. I also can't stand Chris Noth's new partner. I like her when she played on the L&O District Attorney show and she was in Little Black Book with Brittany Murphy and Ron Livingston. But the way she cut her hair and looks dykish is not flattering. I'm also not too fond of the new partner of Dective Green on the original L&O. I'm a woman but I'm not all for women in certain roles on TV. If they can pull it off then I'm all for it but neither of these girls can pull their weight.

Okay, now I know that I must be delirious and sleep deprived. This post makes absolutely no sense.

Take One for the Team

I am truly distraught over the game on Saturday. I haven't touched on this before now but I really am. I caught part of the game while at Baytowne w/ Brad, Amy and Mackenzie. I saw Auburn score a touchdown and the 2pt conversion. I thought we really had a chance. I find out later, not so much. When my dad called me while we were getting to the boat races to gloat it truly upset me. I don't usually get this bothered. I think it's because we had pulled back into the race after the Arkansas loss and I was on cloud 9 because Louisville lost (sorry Josh and the Williams clan). We had a shot. But no, we gave it up. Yup, we gave it up to freaking Georgia who got beat by not only Vanderbuilt but Kentucky. Yup! Needless to say I was not in the mood to hear my dad gloat. If it was just another season then I wouldn't have cared.

I was thinking yesterday of some stories of me and Elizabeth. Yesterday while driving home there was a radio contest to see who could name Tom Cruise's first wife. (Mimi Rogers of course) It made me think of the time we won a radio contest. It was Christmas time and our parents were at some Christmas party or something like that. We were listening to Mix 103.3 and they played the song "Little Drummer Boy" and whoever called in with the correct # of rum-pa-pa-pa's won a live Christmas tree and something else. So we sit in the kitchen and are counting the rum-pa-pa-pa's. I counted each rum-pa's individually and Elizabeth counted each rum-pa's phrase. We called in w/ my guess and it was wrong. Then we called back with her guess and we won. Our family has always put up fake trees so we didn't have a use for the tree. We had heard of a family who had a son (I believe it was the son, but not 100% sure) that had cancer and the family didn't have a lot of money. So we gave the Christmas tree voucher to the family. It was one small way we could help someone else out.

Elizabeth use to beg me to sleep in her room with her. Looking back I slept many a nights in her room. It was always irritating because she had a night light on and I hate having light in a room. Anyhoo, I use to use my feet and put her up in the air using her stomach. We'd then do some crazy manuever and have my legs under her thighs and she could sit up in the air. She'd sit up and act like she was driving a wheel chair and talk like an old lady. We'd use the bar of her headboard for her to do some pretty crazy moves. Well last night I passed on the wheelchair move to Mackenzie. She did it in the den. I think she was scared to death at first but we made it. I have to say not only is she a lot heavier than Elizabeth was but my thighs aren't as muscular after all of these years. It was definitely fun and brought back memories. Man how we use to get in trouble for not going to bed and talking too much.

Did you (who is you? I guess any crazy person who reads this) know every Christmas since Elizabeth was 4 or 5 we have slept in the same bed together on Christmas eve? I even did it last year. It's something we've always done and even though I'm 26 I can't imagine Christmas eve w/out doing it. I think Mackenzie has slept with us the past 3 or 4 years though. I can't wait again for this year. We'll be in our 70's and 80's still sleeping together on Christmas eve. Sorry Ben, but once y'all get married she's mine on Christmas eve.

I'm Definitely a Female

Okay, I had decided to make my blog private but decided it's too much of a pain in the rear. I just had to "clean" up my last post that I probably shouldn't have even published in the first place. Now all can enjoy this very boring blog.

Lunch

I had lunch with a client because she orchastrating a mega deal that consists of 9 immediate closings for $1 million a piece. We'd been hitting and missing each other this past week. She tends to drink a bit and especially during the day so it was my job to buy her lunch and her drinks today. She'd already had at least two by the time I got there. I was coerced into having a Daquari (my allocated 2nd one for the entire year). I hadn't had one in years but it's just too sweet for me. But I despise the taste of alchol and I'm not going to drink just to drink so it has to be something I actually enjoy. Wow, how in the world did I get off on this topic.

I'm sure I'll be labeled a heathen by some that may read this but you know the honest truth? I know they already feel that way about me so what does it really matter? I can't continue to pretend to be something I'm not. What's so funny is drinking for instance. I seriously have a drink once or twice a year, that's it. But if I talk about it I feel as if I must defend myself because people probably think I'm a drunk or something horrible just because I haven't done the rest of my life just right. I didn't even think about it but people may have even seen that Apple Martini mix or something to that effect that is NOT MINE and you know it's my gut instinct to declare it's not mine so I am not judge anymore than I already am but I just can't anymore. I get tired of tip toeing around. So careful that if I say the wrong thing then I'll be judge further.

It's Monday Already?

This past weekend just flew by (hmm... I wonder why). I am absolutely pooped today. My friend came to visit me yesterday and has put me under the weather. I've got a headache that won't go away. It's not a migraine yet but it does have potential. I emailed Bobbi my senior picture this morning to see if she thought we looked alike and apparently we do. I can't wait to see pictures from when she was younger.

I've thought this for awhile but having people come down and visit us it just makes me think about how it sucks that we have no family down here. I hope Elizabeth ends up moving down here one day (do you read this Ben? You gotta get hitched so I can have my sister close to me). I miss living less than a minute from my parents, okay, maybe not that close but you get the idea. I love being surrounded by people and the only person I've got besides Lee and the kids is Jana. I just think everyone needs to pool their resources together and we can purchase a huge compound or buy some land and build a compound. I think it'd be great. Can you imagine how diverse the place would be if you started adding all the different branches?

Let's see. Me, Lee, Mackenzie and Jackson, Mom and dad, Elizabeth and Ben (and mom and dad if you read this I don't mean they'll LIVE together, I do not encourage them to live in sin), Bobbi and Andy, then Brad and Amy, Jed, Tabitha and I can't believe I forgot her name, the other half sister, then Elizabeth's sister (have no clue if she's full by blood or just half) Samantha, Avonelle and Wilson, Grandmother...hmmm... who else? Oh, Eileen and Bob could come (Bobbi's parents) and we could move my dearly departed incarcerated Grandmother Mary's ashes down here. I mean we could really get this to be a lot of fun. We would all have different rolls.

Dad - preacher
Mom - teacher
Elizabeth - pianist and vocalist
Ben - engineer
Lee - in charge of food and beverages
Bobbi - keeping our computers working
Andy - keeping our phones going
Wilson - head up the compound bank
Avonelle - back up pianist and the Pink Authority
Brad - supply us w/ the drywall and other supplies to build our houses
Amy - compound therapist because you KNOW if we all lived in a close area it's inevitable that tensions would rise
Jed - I have no idea what he could do, oh, he could get a motorized wheel chair and give us rides to each others houses
Samantha - I have no clue what she does but we'll figure it out
Tabitha - she'll do all of our hair and makeup and she and Jed can talk about and get tatoos together
Bob - can handle the maintenance around the property
Eileen - can teach Bible classes
Grandma Mary - we'll wait for her ashes to tell us where "it" is hidden

and last but no least my Grandmother Godfrey...

She can meddle in everyones business and constantly look out her window and report others activities to everyone else.

Wow... my mind sure is creative today. We'd definitely need a Dr. on hand because I am fairly certain that my blood pressure would go sky high if we all lived together. We'd probably need some extra meds for Brad, Dad, and Bobbi too.

Pictures

Here are pictures from today. They aren't that great (I wasn't the one taking the pictures), but Brad and Amy got some good ones and will email them. Mackenzie actually took a few of these. Some are silly, but enjoy!

Oh and why didn't anyone tell me that my hair was funky?






This is me telling Mackenzie to put the camera down!!!

It's Been So Wonderful!

Words cannot express what I have felt the past 2 days. I cannot describe where someone can understand to the fullest how wonderful, amazing, exhilirating is has been to meet Brad face to face. I don't know where to begin telling about the past few days. I do have to say that I am seriously sad that they are leaving.

We decided that Brad and Amy would come to our house and meet us first before we went out to dinner. It was a good idea because I didn't want our first meeting to be in public. I can't believe it, neither of us cried. Jana came over before they came and I sure am glad. I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't sit still and I forced her to look at baby pictures with me. I was jumping out of my skin. Jana went in to my room and then the doorbell rang. Or maybe it was a knock. I can't remember. I just remember the rush I felt. Mackenzie went up to the door and looked out the frosted window and yelled "Stranger!!!" and ran to her room. Silly girl. I went and opened the door. I looked at him and we gave each other a big hug. He looked so good. His hair was a lot shorter than the pictures and it flattered him. Amy looked very nice too. I gave her a big hug too. They came in and of course he hugged Mackenzie first and tried to talk to Jackson but guess who he went to next. Buffet. Yup! He gave SOOOO much attention to her. What is it w/ Bobbie and Brad and animals? :-)

We sat in the den for a little while just talking and I was so thankful that Jana was there. She has been such a major part of the past 7 years of my life or so and she can remember when we met in 10th grade, 11 years ago, me talking about wanting to find my birth mother. Now she's met my birth father. It seemed so natural for us to talk. Mackenzie just adores him. It's like she does with my dad. I think it's because he makes it obvious that he likes kids and her and is good with them. We finally left our house to go and eat and Mackenzie wanted to ride with Brad and Amy. I know she had to of talked their ears off but I am sure that Brad enjoyed it.

I brought in a binder that had my senior picture in the front sleeve. The picture was taken on July 27, 1997, the summer before my Sr. year. I showed it to Brad and he was silent at first, but he said that I looked just like Bobbi. That picture was taken during the exact same time that Bobbi would have been in Oklahoma but 18 years before. I cannot wait to see pictures of her during that time to see how much we do look like each other.

We went to eat at Olive Garden. It was great. We had great conversation and there were great people there. Mackenzie sat in between Brad and Jana and then Jackson was on the end beside Brad and I was across from him and Amy next to me. Amy and Jana seemed to talk a lot and I know Jana was very interested in what Amy does for a living. It was so amazing to eat dinner with someone who has my DNA and I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE BIRTH TO HIM. I never imagined this happening. I didn't think if it did I'd even like him. Now I can't imagine life not knowing him. It's so neat to sit and watch our interaction with each other and other people because it is so apparent that we are alike in so many ways. Not things that are plain personality traits but for instance my memory for dates. I remember things to the day or time and am very weird if someone is talking about a time frame and I hear the say it and it's not exact I'll just blurt out the accurate date/time. It drives Lee nuts when I do this. Since I was a child I've said to people for instance "okay, I'll be there in 2 mins. and 36 seconds" or something odd like that. I've heard Brad say things similar to this. He also "quoted" the biological parents handbook and rule 9.23.45.1.4 (that wasn't exact but close). That is soooo something I'd do.

We left Olive Garden and they went back to their hotel and we went back to our house. Mackenzie and Jackson both passed out in the car. Jana and I chatted about how things went and how much we liked both of them. Mackenzie was so cute while we were outside watching to eat and ran and jumped up on Brad. I thought for sure she was going to break his back. Alas she didn't.

Friday morning we got up and Lee took the kids to school. I met Brad and Amy for breakfast at the Donut Hole. Lee came and joined us. This was the first time they met. Amy went shopping and Brad came back with me to the house and that's when we shared our pictures. It was so neat looking at the pictures from his childhood and then later in life. Jed was such an adorable little boy. He was always smiling in his pictures. I enjoyed the time so very much. I was so excited to share my pictures with him so he could see what a freaking cute baby I was.

It was nice for the two of us to have some time to spend by ourselves. It was just us and no one else. We talked about his stint in the military and I finally got to hear the interesting things I had wanted to hear. We talked about random things too. We got in the car to go pick up the kids and driving down US Hwy. 331 it hit me that I was in the car with someone who shares MY DNA. I touched his arm a couple of times and said something of that nature. How amazing it is. I never thought it would happen.

We picked up Mackenzie first and she was soooo happy to see Brad. She just adores him. Then we went to get Jackson and Brad had the priviledge to meet Candy. We were headed back to the hotel to drop him off but the traffic was horrible so instead Amy met us at the Back Porch. Wow, what a great time that was. Jackson was facinated by the water. He kept looking out at it and going "Wa wa". Mackenzie was so sweet and kept wanting to be with her daddy. I had bought Mackenzie and Jackson Christmas coloring books at the CVS a bit earlier and she was working on one of the activities but needed help. Brad was so patient with her and helped her work it out. It reminded me of my mom or dad with Mackenzie when we're at restaurants. He has the same patience with them and he loves kids so very much.

I introduced them to Fried Crab Claws. They were soooo good. Amy and Brad ordered Calamari and I sooooooo passed on it but Jackson ate some. He actually enjoyed it. Mackenzie of course chowed down on the cheese sticks. Our dinner came and it was great. Erin always does a good job of taking care of us when we eat there. Jackson did keep wanting his daddy so Lee took him to meet his workers and Jackson wouldn't go to anyone or say a word. I'm wondering if he's about to go through the terrible 2's as he has been cranking and obstinant lately. He's also become very clingy. Not fun for going out places.

We left the restaurant and the kids and I headed home and then Brad and Amy went their seperate ways. They ended up going back to the outlet mall. The kids and I passed out pretty quickly once we got home.

We got up Saturday morning and I called Brad about 8:45ish. They went and had brunch at Another Broken Egg and then were going to hit a few beach shops and we were to meet them at noon at the outlet mall. Well Mackenzie and I had gone into Destin about 10:15ish and went to Wal-Mart to get some more cups and straws and once we found out when we'd meet up with them we went and got some lunch. We got sandwhiches from Lenny's Sub shop. She loves turkey and cheese and I got a philly. I enjoyed our lunch together. Rarely do we have the chance to do things with just the two of us. We left and went to the outlet.

Once we met up with Brad and Amy we headed over to Baytowne Wharf. Wow, it was nice as always there. I haven't been during the middle of the day before but I enjoyed going as always. Amy went into the shops and Brad, Mackenzie and I sat outside. It was very nice and relaxing. The only thing is it was hot and humid. I was very sticky. We then went and walked down the pier to look at the water. It was so nice. Amy picked out her yacht. We just need to convince Brad to buy it now. :-)

Lee and Jackson came to meet up with us but when they got there we were ready to leave. Amy wanted to check out the boat races so we ended up going to the place by Lee's work and sitting under the Bud VIP tent to watch the races. All I can say is I had no idea it would be as cool as it was. Man those boats were going so fast and helicopters were following the different boats and zooming all around. Mackenzie decided to get in the water and was soaked. Towards the end of the race the clouds rolled in and it got really windy and cold. Mackenzie was freezing to death. We went back to the house while Amy and Brad went to freshen up. Then they would head over to my house since I decided to cook dinner for everyone.

They got to the house and I wasn't even close to being finished. I didn't realize how long it'd take. Amy was so kind and sweet to the kids and went in Jackson's room and built things w/ the Legos with them. Brad stayed in the kitchen while I was cooking. For a while Amy was in there and she left and then came back. It was mayhem but great nonetheless. We ate dinner and I have to say it was sooooooooo good. My homemade chicken parmesean it amazing. I can't wait to go eat left overs in a minute.

We sat at the dinner table and talked until 10. The three of us talked a little bit about everything. I truly enjoyed it. It was like having dinner with another married couple. Like old friends. I have to admit, I didn't want them to leave. Lee had gone a bit earlier to put Jackson down and was in and out the entire time. They left and decided they'd come back Sunday morning (this morning) to say goodbye and take pictures. Can you believe we took NO pictures until this morning???? I know, it's stupid and crazy!!!!

So they came by about 9:30. We sat in the den for an hour or so and took pictures. Mackenzie was hyper as ever and crawling all over Brad. She acted like I did when I was little. She has to be the center of attention. It gets a little obnoxious but what can you do? We took some great pictures of the kids and Brad and then w/ Amy in them too. The pictures with me leave a lot to be desired but that's okay.

We said our goodbyes. I have to admit I wanted to throw a temper tantrum and beg them not to go. It's like I found this great new couple to be friends with. I love him. He's amazing, great with kids, loves animals, kind, compassionate, sensitive and so honest. I am so blessed to have so many people in my life now who love me. I've now got Brad, Bobbi and my mom and dad.

I have to admit I cried. Lee held me but I did cry. I know I'll see them again but with the distance it's not like I can go up for the weekend. I have to admit tears are falling as I type this part. It reminds me of when I'd cry when Avonelle would get on a plane to go back to Charlotte. I'd cry the whole way home. I'm not sad, just hate the fact that they live so far away. They are great people. I can be myself completely with the two of them and I don't have to hold anything back. Honestly, that's not something I'm use to. It's kind of nice.

So it was a great visit and can't wait for the next one. This post has taken 3 days to write and I hope those can get through the length and enjoy it.

Oh My!

Brad is on his way here and should be in Destin with in a few hours. Wow! I can't believe I'm actually going to meet him. I can't believe it. Someone who has my blood and I didn't even give birth to them. :-) I'm nervous. My stomach is in knots. I'm excited but scared. Not of him but of the moment of actually meeting him face to face. It's funny because he and Amy spend the night about 15 mins from my parents house last night. So close yet so far away.

I am a bad girl. I feel awful b/c I haven't called Bobbi or Tabitha in a while but things have just been so insanely busy it's hard to find time. I've also been in a semi-depressed mood since last weekend and I have had horrible headaches. I think the stress has caused my BP to soar thus causing the headaches. I went and had my renal ultra sound yesterday. It took a little over and hour. I'm sure my kidneys are just fine. This test though will eliminate though what could be causing my edema and other things. I don't think anything is truly wrong w/ me but the high BP. I know that the BP causes other problems but over all I think I'm going to be just fine. Man, watch me fall over and die tomorrow because I said I'll be fine.

It feels so good outside today. The high is suppose to be 78. Man I love this weather. Okay, I think I'm going to go a puke now. Get it out of my system. I'm telling you I'm nervous beyond what words can describe. Blek!

My Silly Girl

Last night I went on a much needed dinner date with Jana. I had such a horrible day and was semi-depressed that I needed to get away. It was really wonderful to get in the car and drive by myself. I called Jana to let her know I was going into Destin to go grocery shopping and that I wanted to stop by. Then we just decided on going to eat dinner. I went over to her house for a bit and then we went to O'Charley's. I have no idea why in the world we have been going to O'Charley's lately. Service was soooooo slow but it was actually nice because we were able to talk. We talk about random and weird things.

Jana and I left and went to CVS. We had so MUCH fun in there! All of the Christmas stuff is out and I had $135 in Extracare Bucks to use to it was fun! We pushed every toys button and acted like kids. I got this adorable snowman who pulls down his snow pants and sings. His little butt cheeks light up and jiggle up and down. I got some other Christmas things and got face wash and the other wonderfully expensive necessities.

When I got home everyone was sound sleep. They were so adorable. I tucked Mackenzie in and kissed her goodnight and then got in bed with Jackson and Lee. This morning I went into Mackenzie's room to wake her up. I noticed the phone was on her floor and I had put it in the cradle last night. I asked her what the phone was doing in her room. She said she had tried calling me last night to see when I was coming home. I told her when I came home she was sound asleep. Well she couldn't see my car out of the window and assumed I wasn't at home. So she called me. I then hear my phone beeping and go to see what time she called. Oh my gosh! She called not once, not twice, but FIVE TIMES! She started calling at 2:36 and the last call was at 5:45. I couldn't believe it. She left me two cute voice messages that sounded pitiful telling me she wanted me to come home. I asked her why she didn't come in and see if I was in the bed and she said because daddy was snoring. I've now decided I need to get alarms on the bedroom doors. Wow.

I'm headed to bed. I've got a major headache.

What a miserable day

This has truly been an awful day. I did what I had to do. I let her go. It was against my wishes. I want that to be clear. My heart breaks for the pain and strain it will put on the already tight finances. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I don't think I need to be in management. I can't handle these sort of situations. It's just not in me. I hate confrontation. Just ask Jana.

Lee went to Montgomery yesterday to pick up his mom's car. He decided to sell the car he has been driving and is going to drive hers. He put an ad in the papers to advertise his car and he sold it the 2nd day the ad was out and to the first person who called. He met them today and finalized the transaction. We had a little scare a little bit ago though. Lee called me in a panic telling me he was on the side of the road in Destin and the car quit on him. Not a good thing. I picked him up and get got some gas for the car and some oil. Come to find out it had some water in the gas tank and all it needed was some gas. Thank goodness. Needless to say both of us were relieved. If this had not been the case it would not have been a good situation. I love his moms car. I even offered to drive it so Lee could have the bigger car but he declined. Thank you. Thank you for the tough choices you have made to make everything okay. I appreciate it more than words can ever express.

This week is going to suck big time. Not only am I in a funk over what happened but... well that's it. It's just put a big damper on my week. I know that it's stupid for me to feel that way because this isn't about me and doesn't effect me like it does her. Oh well. I can't help the way I feel.

On a positive note Brad and Amy will arrive in town on Thursday. I've got to check and see how I will balance everything with them and work. This situtation has put a small kink in my plans but I'll get it all figured out.

Can It Get Any Worse?

Can my week get any worse? Seriously. I think I've now had the worst week that I have had in over a decade. I dispise the cards I've been dealt and now I've got to play my hand tomorrow morning. I'm ultimately going to ruin a great friendship (yet again because of this) and I'm my action (even though it's not my choice) will have a devestating impact on her. Yes, I have to let Bonnie go. I hate it. It sucks! Ugh! I don't want to be a manager, I don't want to be in this business right now either. Ultimately it's not my fault that the entire market has gone to hell in a hand basket. It's nothing I've had control over. The market from here to Pensacola to Panama City I know for a fact has gone this way. I believe it's over the entire state of Florida as well. I know I should be thankful that at least I have a job for now but it's hard for me to. I am just to involved in this situation. Their financial situation is 100 times worse than ours could ever be. They've got 2 small children both in diapers and one on formula. Her hubby only works a few nights a week waiting tables and she by all means was the bread winner. It makes me sick. Bottom line is I am too involved in this situation. Our husbands are good friends and over the past 3 years of working together off and on in a very enclosed environment you can't help to have it personal. I will never ever ever ever again hire someone who I have a personal interest. This is just tearing me up inside.

I Will Obey

I have been told that I need to write a new post. I don't have anything interesting to say at this point in time. It has been a fairly dull week. Work has sucked all this week. We were crazy busy on Tuesday past the point of what is normal. The rest of the week has gone by slowly. Yesterday was Bonnie's birthday and I forgot. Yes, I did. I felt soooooo bad. I didn't remember until 4:00 or so and I put my hands over my mouth and started freaking out. I totally freaked her out. She thought something was wrong. I told her that I was so sorry that I had forgotten her birthday. She told me I had her heart racing thinking it was bad. You know I forgot her birthday last year too? Last year our office was being painted on her birthday and we were getting ready for our open house/grand opening a few days later. How in the world can I forget 2 years in a row. Isn't that awful? I'm a horrible friend and boss.

Jana came over tonight and we watched Grey's Anatomy. It was again another amazing performance by the cast. The writing is phenomenal and the acting is like no other. I wait each week with anticipation for the new episodes. I have to say I have lost a tremendous amount of respect (well, I didn't really have any for him in the 1st place b/c I didn't know much about him) Isaiah Washington. The fight on the set that happened last month and that came out really disappointed me. Apparently he was upset that Patrick Dempsey was 5 mins late to the set to shoot their scences. He got really ugly towards Dempsey and then called the lovable George (TR Knight) a "faggot". Now Knight had never come out pubically to say that he was gay. I don't think it is any of any ones business. Because of the comment and the rumors about the altercation Knight made a statement regarding his sexual orientation. He should have never been in a position like that. Washington is an insensitive arrogant man. When reading up more on the story it has come to light that Washington has had altercations with other actors on other sets of his films. He was up for the part of McDreamy and lost it out to Dempsey. I guess he is jealous that it's not his face on the covers of all of the magazines. Taking a fellow actor by the throat and shoving them around is not the way to get a higher profile character. Stupid man.

I haven't gotten on my political soapbox but I do want to say something. I am sure that everyone is aware about the comment that John Kerry made regarding those who are serving our wonderful country in Iraq. I think his comment was rude and inconsiderate and shows how stupid of a man he is. I think he further proved he is a piece of crap when not only did he refuse to apologize for 2 days but when he finally did it wasn't even an apology. His staff left off the punchline? The punchline was "just ask President Bush". I'm sorry that's not even funny. It doesn't even make any sense. If you're going to make up a reason why you said something ridiculous make it believable not just a half arse attempt of one. Not even the democrats are buying the apology. I mean this with everything in me. Even if he was a repulican who made the same stupid remarks I'd be just as mad.

Mackenzie has her last soccer game tomorrow night. It makes me sad. Lee had to work most Friday nights this year and I believe he only made it to 2 games. Jana hasn't even made it to 1. I wish more people had come out to support her. I don't fault Lee because of work, he has to work so we can afford to live, but I just wish there were people to be there for her regularly at her games in addition to me and Jackson. It's also really hard to go to the games after working all day, especialy when they're the late games.

I'm very tired tonight. I went to bed at a decent time last night. I guess I need to do that tonight as well. I must feel like if I go to bed then I'll miss out on something. Oh... I got a call from my Dr. today and I have a renal ultrasound scheduled for next Wednesday. I believe they are doing this because of the pedal edema. If I remember correctly that the edema can point to kidney problems and because of some of the other things I've been having. I am sure things will be just fine. As long as they don't poke me or stick something up or in me I'll be just fine. Nothing can go wrong with me any way because I have to be here for my babies.

Okay, I'm going to bed. This post is dedicated to my wonderfuul sister Elizabeth. Enjoy!