Sick... Blah!

I haven't updated my blog in a week or so because we've been sick. I've been exhausted and even though there are some people I have needed to send pictures to of the kids, etc. I have not had the energy to put forth that much effort. Okay, it's not a lot of effort but I have to be focused while doing so and it's not been that easy.

Lee left for TN on Sunday and he'll be gone until January 10th. Jackson was really upset for him to go but Mackenzie wasn't too concerned. Avery, well she didn't seem to notice he was leaving. We were going to leave for my parents house on Sunday but Avery had been up practically all night long and I got less than 2 hours of sleep and just could not make the trip. After we took Lee to the airport I cleaned up a little but then was very lazy in the bed with Avery. It didn't help that I had the beginnings of a sore throat, achy body and stuffy nose.

Monday morning I woke up and almost decided to stay in town because I still felt bad. Then I thought about what it would be like to be in the house for the whole week with 3 kids while school is out and all the neighborhood kids are out of town. Yup, I quickly decided we were heading to Grandmama's. It helped that I had already packed all of our suitcases on Saturday. We made the long trip in decent time, actually it was great time but it's only because I only stopped once. One potty break and that's it.

We've been pretty lazy so far here. Jackson has had a really stuffy and then runny nose. Avery has ended up with a fever and major stuffy nose. I spent yesterday on the phone w/ the pediatricians office in Destin. I had to run out and get a new themometer and probe covers so I could take her temp in the henie. Yeah, not a lot of fun for either of us. It is though the most accurate reading and that was/is important because of her size.

Her temp rectally wasn't more than 100.4 so that kept us out of the hospital. It's been hovering around 99.9 but I was told not to give her any Tylenol because it could hide any real problems. So if her temp increases then I have to take her to the hospital up here. So far she's holding her on. I've been putting saline drops in her nose to clear her up and using those wonderful booger sucker upers from the hospital. So we have had a busy week so far.

Mackenzie was so proud that she hadn't been sick and then last night fell victim to whatever it is we have. I told her I'd take her temp and she freaked out on me until I told her that it would be under her tounge and not in her booty. She felt much better. She had a temp over 100 so it was Tylenol for her. She was shivering and had chills along with a headache last night. She felt better this morning but the temp has come back with a sore throat. Yuck!

So I'm just hoping we can all get better without going to the Dr. I really don't feel like taking 3 kids to the Dr. right now. I really don't feel like taking 3 kids any where in public to be honest. I did that today and wow! My parents were with us too and it still was a circus. What have I gotten myself in to?

I went to the bridal shop to be measured for Elizabeth's wedding. Okay, absolutely depressing. I just wanted to die. I had no idea that my bust would become the focal point of picking out a size. Was I breastfeeding? No. Did I think my bust would shrink when my milk dried up? I have no idea. Could I lose 1.5 inches in the bust so I could go with the smaller size? Who knows. Yes, it was awful. I am the token fat girl in the wedding. It's just so exciting. Seriously though I'm happy to be in the wedding. My love the dress. I just wish that it was in black or espresso so I could wear it again. To be honest the buttecup color is not the best looking one but it's not my wedding.

Yes, it's New Year's Eve and I'm typing this blog. My parents left us for a party and I'm at their house in my pj's typing this. I have no adult life. I love my kids more than anything in the world but it sure would be nice to spend some time with adults. We had Christmas Day dinner with the neighbors and had a blast. I enjoyed it because it was adult time. It was also the first time we've ever done something like that. We played Phase 10 and man was I in heaven. I know Lee hates that kind of stuff but it was so sweet of him to do it for me. He did have fun but he was a real trooper. I also love my neighbors too.

So I'll be at home watching the rest of Dr. Doolittle with the kids. I'll probably also be changing a poopy diaper or two but they love me and I'm where I belong. Right here with Mackenzie, Jackson and Avery.

Happy New Year's!

Christmas

I can't believe that Christmas is over already. I can't believe that Jesus has been born and now Mary is having the same sleepless nights that I have had. Wait, her's would probably be worse considering breast feeding was probably her only option and breastfed babies eat more frequently. Then I forget it was more than 2,000 years ago so her sleepless nights are over, at least here on earth.

This was the hardest Christmas for us yet. This was probably the best Christmas we have ever had. Strange that it turned out that way. We have had some really hard times this season and the out pouring has been amazing. Mackenzie's school did so much for my kids this year that I am blown away. I am moved by the generousity of those who did not know us and gave to us any way and those who did know us and our situation.

Avery is able to wear a clean diaper now every time she poops because of their gifts of diapers. Okay, I'd change her every time she pooped beforehand. No need to go call CPS. I think we got 5 packs of newborn diapers from the school. I went up to the school the Thursday that school was letting out to pick up the items that people had bought for MY kids. Connie, the school's right hand lady, was so excited about the gifts. She was just as excited as I was. An entire table was set up with the items.

Avery got receiving blankets, diapers, and a few clothes. Jackson got the huge Jungle Imaginext toy, Batman mask, 2 batman toys and a backpack. Mackenzie got jeans, marshmellow coat, a couple of shirts, and a keyboard. One lady heard that we had just had a premiee and she had a premiee a few years earlier. She gave Connie a Walmart gift card to give to us. It was one she had gotten when she returned some items, thus the odd balance on it. It was for $109.xx. Over a hundred dollars for us. That left me speechless.

My parents also bought each of the kids one "big" gift for us to give the kids from Santa. Thankfully each of their big gifts were less than $50. Not because I'm super cheap (which I am) but it's what they wanted and M's happened to be on sale.

Thankfully I had already bought the kids a few gifts before we went broke. I found a great website for books that are dirt cheap. M loves to read and I had gotten her around 25 books for $2 or less each. She was so excited about the books. I am so glad that she loves reading. Jackson also got some books and while he wasn't quite as excited about them as she was they are great. I cannot wait to read him the Veggie Tales books. Not to mention they are hardback and $1.50 each. Yes, love bargains.

M. got her first bras and panties from Victoria's Secret. Lee has a hard time with the fact that she even has to wear a bra. I did at that age so it doesn't bother me as much and besides that I'm her mom. I had gotten the 2 bras and 3 panties for less than $15. I got 2 extra bras but I accidentally got the wireless but with a formed cup so I have to exchange those.

We had a great Christmas. The kids had a great Christmas. The Christmas eve service was really nice. I just wish they had a nursery. Kids were making noise over the entire church which drives me crazy. I think it's from my dad being a pastor. Jackson couldn't sit in the auditorium type chairs because he didn't weigh enough the chairs would pop up. He was moving around and when he sat in Lee's lap he kicked the back of the chair for the poor guy in front of us repeatedly and kept saying "Shhh...." with his finger to his lips. Yeah, that's not how to be quiet. Needless to say we didnt' quite make it all the way through.

We left at the communion part. I wasn't in the mood to explain to Jackson why he couldn't have the bread and why it was so small adnd the fact that there wasn't any butter and no seconds. And try explaining to him why he couldn't have some juice. Whew... more than we could handle. Note to self I will only go to another Christmas eve service when he is either 10 or is tied up with duct tape or I'm with my parents. For some unknown reason my kids listen to them better than to me.

Oh and I had to explain to Jackson that we just had to go to the service at 7pm before opening gifts because it was to celebrate Jesus' birth. We got there and he wanted to know where baby Jesus was because it was his birthday party. Then he wanted to know if we all got to wear party hats. Gotta love kids at this age.

Christmas was perfect. Even more so because we got the chance to see my family and spend time with Avonelle and Wilson the week before. I don't think it could have been any better.

Utter Exhaustion but Lots of Love

Man oh man has it been a busy couple of days. I am absolutely worn out but it is impossible for me to take a nap. I am the only adult in the house with the exception of my dad who is not snoozing away.

Mackenzie's last day of school was Thursday. She had a Christmas party at her school and I go to go to it. Note: I greatly admire any person who can tolerate 16 3rd graders for 7 hours a day. It was a lot of fun and once we got home it was non-stop packing for our trip. Below is a picture of her teacher and yes, her teacher is shorter than she is.



We left Friday morning for my parents house. We were celebrating Christmas early since my grandparents were going to be here, along with Elizabeth and Ben. Now we were suppose to leave by 9:30 but that didn't quite happen. Now I was ready before then by some miracle. It was Lee who was running behind. He had gone to the post office earlier in the morning and there was a long line of people mailing their packages. Then he and the middle row middle seat had a fight when Lee tried to remove it. Lee won the fight, eventually.

Now all I can say is thank God for mini-vans. We had our entire back area packed, half of the back row folded down and packed to the ceiling, the middle walkway packed, and in front of Avery's seat packed full. I cannot imagine traveling in anything smaller. Next time I think we should rent a 15 passenger van. The sad part I'm not even kidding.

We finally got off around 10:40 and I have to say for traveling with 3 kids, one being an infant we made great time. Only one potty break the entire trip. It also helped that I'm not pregnant any more. If I was still pregnant I can tell you we would've stopped at least 5 times. No sooner than us walking in the door is Avery whisked out of her car seat and I haven't seen her since. Okay, I've seen her but only from a distance. She has been constantly held between my mom and Avonelle (my mom's mom. Wilson also adores Avery and loves to hold her. He has had quite a hard time getting her from the ladies but he has suceeded a couple of times. It is safe to say she is very loved.






Friday night we celebrated Jackson's birthday. He had a Batman cake from Publix that was really cute and tasted amazing. It is first year he's been really excited about his birthday and that he has had family around for it. We had mac 'n cheese in Jackson's honor for supper. He got a truck from my grandmother for his birthday and Curious George/monkey themed items from my parents. He loved it all. Especially the party hats.







Yesterday dad drove Lee, me and Jackson to Gardendale so we could see the area we are more than likely going to be living in. It's not quite what I expected but it was okay. One exit down from it (and only 1 mile down the interstate) is a brand new shopping center with a Target. That I enjoyed. In Gardendale there are restaurants and a Chick-fil-a which makes it good oh and a Walmart. Woohoo! I just don't know how impressed I am with the houses we saw. Now we didn't see the entire area and houses but from what I've been told the people there are either well to do or rednecks. I'm thinking we might have to live in the redneck houses.

Oh and then we went to Kohl's to get the big sister's santa present. It's a Hannah Montana guitar. I don't know why Mackenzie has been dying for a guitar. It's been an ongoing desperate request. None of us know how to play but this is the one gift she has been dying for. It was totally awesome (wow, takes me back to the 90's) because it was on sale for 69.99 (I know utterly expensive) but it rang up for 47.xx and then since dad had a Kohl's card he got another 15% off so he paid 40.xx for it. How wonderful is that????



We celebratd Christmas Saturday night. We had turkey, dressing and a lot of other things I didn't eat. I just ate my plain jane food... turkey and green bean casserole. We opened up gifts from my parents and Elizabeth (and Ben). They were teh sweetest most thoughtful gifts. Elizabeth gave Avery a silver brush/comb that is engraved with "Merry Christmas Avery". It is so beautiful. She gave the kids each a frog shower/radio. Jackson's is blue and Kenzie's is pink.

My parents gave Lee a new Bible, Jackson his first Bible, and Avery her first Bible. Ben even got a Bible. But no Bible for me. I'm so sad. I really wanted one too. I did get a really cute bag from Talbot's. I'm going to probably use it for a bag for Avery. Mom said she'd get it monogrammed for me with her initials. So cute. Elizabeth got me Pleasures (the perfume I use to wear and will start wearing again). I told her I needed some pleasure in my life. hehe Then Lee and I got our Christmas money from my parents. Oh and Avery got a stocking with her name on it to match the rest of ours.

Now for the biggest hit. Jackson has been dying for a fishing pole. The Friday before Thanksgiving Lee and I went to visit Avery at the hospital. It was the day that my parents were leaving with Mackenzie. My dad took Jackson for us so we could have an easier time with Avery. Dad took Jackson into the Bass Pro Shop and Jackson had to look at every single fishing pole. Jackson just loves fishing. This is the boy that makes his own poles from different items in the house and fishes from the end of my bed.

My dad for Christmas got each of the kids a fishing pole set. Jackson is thrilled beyond words and I don't think I've ever seen him that excited about a gift. My parents neighborhood has a stocked pond in the front and it's perfect for them to go. Now of course after church today Jackson is dying to go but it's 40 degrees outside and it's not warm enough. He keeps telling us that it has to get warmed to go outside and wants to keep checking the weather channel. It's so darn cute.

I felt badly that we could not get anyone gifts this year. I really wanted to but with our circumstances it wasn't possible. We're even struggling to give the kids a great Christmas. My sister was so thoughtful with all of her gifts. She was so sweet and I appreciate all of it. Mom and Dad have had to put out quite a bit over the past month for Lee and me. They still gave us each a great Christmas.

I'll post about our trip to church and Wendy's the next time. Now don't think I'm boring thinking about posting about Wendy's. There is a significant and a sentimental story behind Wendy's.

Packing

Words cannot express how excited I am to be going to see my parents. Not only will they be there but so will Avonelle and Wilson. It has been such a long time since I've seen them last I cannot wait to spend time with them. I also can't wait to play Scrabble together as we always seem to do. It will be a full house with 11 people being there at one time. The most that's ever been at their house at once before. It should be interesting.

So I started thinking about the things I need to take with us. We're celebrating Jackson's birthday on Friday night so I have some plates, napkins and a table cloth to bring. Then I have to remember to bring the boxes of mac 'n cheese to cook that night. I'm also making angel biscuits to go with the turkey my mom is having and to go w/ the ham that Brad is sending us (I LOVE Honeybaked hams! Brad you rock!).

Then I started thinking about the things that Avery needs. Clothes, blankets, burp cloths, diapers, wipes, her swing, the Boppy, bottles, formula and I'm sure there is something I'm already forgetting. Then it's the usually clothings and shoes for the kids and myself. Plus I have to put together our tolietries... oh wait. Nope, I forgot I keep a stash for us in the upstairs bathroom so I don't have to pack them each time. Still need my makeup, flat iron, hair dryer, etc.

I need to strategically pack everything because inspite of the minivan we gotta make it all fit comfortably. I could put the 3 kids in the middle row BUT that just causes fighting between the oldest kids. So I'm taking the middle seat of the middle row out so Kenzie can get to the back. I'm going to fold down 1/2 of the back row so we can have extra room for the swing, luggage and stroller. It will be a tight squeeze.

I had forgotten how difficult it is to travel with a baby. Then add two more kids on top of that... whew... I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I am going to start putting things together for the trip tomorrow. I'm hoping to have the van pretty much packed and ready to go Thursday night. I just can't imagine doing it all Friday morning. When I go back up to my parents after Christmas I'm going to have the car full and have to load it all by myself.

Okay, so I guess this post is just a complaining type post about how much I have to do. Even though I'm complaining I'm really looking forward to it all. I cannot wait to see everyone. It is the best Christmas present I can think of.

Time is Flying By

Today was Avery's 1 month check up. I cannot believe that she turned 1 month old yesterday and that it had been two weeks since she finally came home from the hospital. Little Miss Avery is a whopping 5lbs 11ozs and is still 19 inches long. Her weight, height and head circumfrance is still considered as <5% percentile for her age. She has some serious catching up to do. Dr. Allen said that her weight gain is on track and she looks great. We don't have to go back to see him until her 2 month checkup. I'm not looking forward to that day though and I'm sure she won't be either. She will get 3 shots and the rotovirus shot via mouth (so technically it's not a shot I guess). I can't believe how quickly a month has passed by.

Last night I cooked for dinner a dish I first cooked when I was 15 years old. It is a chicken stir fry dish but not in a Chinese food way. I use to make it for my mom when we found out it was something that she could eat due to the Celiac Disease. I scoured the internet high and low for the recipe and finally found it right before Avery was born. It was my first time cooking this in years and it turned out so good. Even the kids liked it. It is definitely something I will make on a regular basis. I just ate leftovers and it was still super yummy!

As I've reluctantly written about it has been a very hard time on us financially. Lee has been laid off since November 7th and doesn't start his new job until December 28th. Connie, the most wonderful administrator at Mackenzie's school, found out about our situation when Lee was talking to her almost 2 weeks ago. She adores Lee and he just poured his heart out to her. I think it felt good to tell someone what had happened. Well she called me that day and I told her that things had been really hard, etc.

Last Wednesday she said that some people at the school were wanting to do something for those who were having a hard time this year. I felt very uncomfortable accepting donations from anyone because it's quite embarassing and we shouldn't be in this position. Not us of all people. Connie told me that people want to help out and let them. Well today she called me and told me that there were already diapers at the school for me to pick up along with a gift card for gas. Little did she know that I was on my last pack of newborn diapers and needed to buy more. I picked up 2 packs from her today.

I was in tears when I saw her. I am so thankful for the person who has done this for us. She said on Thursday after 11am I can pick up the gifts for Mackenzie and Jackson. I told her that I know the person wants to remain annoynmous but I would like to write a thank you letter to those who helped us and how many cards should I write and if she would make sure those people got my letter. She told me it was just one person doing it all. I had suspected that it was Connie doing this but she just hugged me and didn't say anything. I think it's her and if so I'm going to cry a river.

This is the lady that before Mackenzie ever started school there I fell in love with. She was so great and friendly. She helped me get Mackenzie into the school when she wasn't zoned for it and it was almost at capacity. This is the lady that always has a smile on her face and knows every single student by name. She has made such an impact on me that I even called the school districts office to tell them how amazing she is and to brag on her. She cried when she found out I did this. I didn't want her to know it was me but I wanted someone above her hear how much she is appreciated.

I am just so thankful for her and whoever it is who is helping our family out right now. It still kills me that I cannot do this for my family this year though. Lee and I were talking about the help we've gotten this year and he asked me what I thought about adopting some kids from Mackenzie's school next Christmas and give back to someone else in need next year when we will be back on our feet. I told him I thought it was a great idea and how I love doing things such as that. I still remember our youth group helping a family out back in Montgomery when I was 14 or 15. It had such an impact on me. We both think it would be a great thing for our kids to be involved with and learn about doing for others. I cannot wait to be able to do something for someone else in return.

On another note I put on makeup today for the first time since May. Oh my gosh it felt great! I don't wear a lot of makeup any way but I felt better about myself. I just washed my face (I'm finishing this post at 9:03pm so the time on it is when I first started typing it which was much earlier in the day). I feel as if my face is more refreshed. It took less than 5 minutes to put it on and it made me feel 100 times better about myself. I am going to try and make a point to put on my face every time I go out.

I am very excited to be going to my parents house this weekend. We are leaving on Friday and coming back on Monday or Tuesday. We will celebrate Jackson's birthday Friday night. On Saturday night we will celebrate Christmas with my parents, Elizabeth, Ben (her fiance), Avonelle and Wilson (my grandparents on my mom's side). I cannot wait to see Avonelle and Wilson. It has been a year or so since I saw them last. I am also so excited to see my parents again. I know it's only been 3 weeks but I miss them. Family means so much more to me than it ever has. I treasure my relationships with them so much. It will definitely be a full house at my parents though.

Downstairs Avonelle and Wilson will have the guest bedroom. The other bedroom down there is a study so no one can sleep in there. Upstairs I think Elizabeth and I will share the bedroom with Jackson and Avery (Mackenzie will sleep in my parents room). Lee and Ben can sleep in the bonus room on the sectional. Lee has to sleep with the TV on and there isn't one in the bedrooms. I just hope his snoring doesn't keep Ben up. It will certainly be crowded but I am looking forward to it so much.

Okay, this was a long post. I just had a lot to say. I am so thankful for so many things this year. We may not have money or materialistic things but we truly have a lot to thank God for this year.

A Truly Amazing Family

I was on Facebook earlier this week and a friend of mine from back home posted in his status updated that he couldnt' wait for his new newphew and niece to come home and for him to meet them. I know his brother and they have 2 little girls and his wife had her tubes tied and knew it wasn't them and then I remembered that they had an older sister who lives in Ohio. He posted their blog link and I started reading from the beginning posts from the blog that started early this year.

This couple felt that God was leading them to give a home to orphaned kids from another country. They already have a daughter who is 12 (I think) and a son who is 8. Their daughter told them that she felt the same way and wanted to give someone a home that didn't have one. They started the long process earlier this year. Their blog chronicles their journey. It's also a great information tool for those who are going through the same process as them. In the end they ended up picking Russia as the country to adopt from.

In Russia if there are siblings you have to adopt all of the siblings and not just one. I think this is great for keeping families together but at the same time it must be hard to place a lot of those siblings all together. They had decided to take in a pair of siblings. Earlier this year they were matched up with a brother and sister whose ages are almost identical to their own kids. They visited Russia over the summer by themselves and met the kids and worked on the process with the adoption agency.

After delays they were finally able to go over in November for the 3 week trip to finalize the adoption. The entire family went and their own children were able to experience it with them. Their new kids are Peter and Kim. They let them help pick out their American names. It seemed to me that there was a list that the Russian's allowed them to pick from. The adoption 10 day waiting period was over this past Friday and yesterday the new family of 6 flew back to the states.

The story is very moving and is so amazing. I cannot imagine a family of four (as we were before Avery) opening our hearts and home to two kids as they have. I think they are such an amazing family. I have truly enjoyed reading the blog and seeing their adoption journey through their eyes. It has moved me. If you are interested in reading their blog you can find it here http://amerrickanfamily.blogspot.com/

Breakfast with Santa

All five of us went to Breakfast with Santa at Mackenzie's school. It's an annual PTO fund raiser that is a lot of fun. We arrived right as Santa was pulling in on the fire truck. Jackson was so excited and ran with all of his might up to the front of the school. He kept waving at santa and calling out to him. We skipped eating breakfast first and went straight to the gym to where santa was headed so we wouldn't have to wait in line as long to have our pictures taken with him. It was the smartest move for us.

We were in line for about 20 minutes so it wasn't that bad. During that time Mackenzie saw her friends and Jackson continued to wave and call out to santa. It was finally our turn and Jackson didn't want to go up there to see santa. He got scared all of the sudden. The pictures I'm posting below you can tell Jackson was not interested in all. He wouldn't even look at the camera.

After eating breakfast we saw Dr. Petrac (my OB) and she finally got to see Avery. She and I talked for a bit and then right behind her was Lee's and my marriage counselor. I told him that I'm sorry we haven't been back to see him but after our last appointment with him we had her. He said he had heard about it so I'm guessing Lee called and talked to him. It was a lot of fun and even Lee had a good time. I was shocked!

So below are some pics from today. I came thisclose to putting on makeup for the first time in months and months but I didn't. Boy I should have. The pic of Mackenie and me would be slightly better if I had makeup on. Oh and Lee is clueless when it comes to zooming in the camera. You can tell which pictures he takes.

Handy Manny and Pajamas

Today we got in the mail Christmas cards from Brad along with birthday cards for Lee and Jackson. Jackson got $10 in his birthday card and each of the kids (minus Avery) got $10 in their Christmas cards. We had been couped up inside for days because of the rain that I decided to take Jackson and Mackenzie to Walmart for them to each pick out something to buy with the money. Jackson has been dying to have one of the Handy Manny tool sets and I know Mackenzie would enjoy picking out something. It is also nice because lately the kids have been told no about this and that since we haven't had any money.

We headed out to Walmart around 4:30 and had a blast during the drive singing at the top of our lungs. I used Mackenzie's hand as a microphone and Jackson was singing with his sunglasses on. It was a blast. I really enjoyed the time together with them. When we got to Walmart Jackson knew what he wanted as soon as he saw it. It's a talking Handy Manny with his talking tool set. Now Mackenzie on the other hand had a hard time figuring out what she wanted. She's really too old for most toys. We looked through all th emovies and she didn't see anything that she wanted. Finally she found this pair of flip flop furry slippers that she wanted. They were on sale and she had some money had left over and we picked out a shirt and terry cloth pajama shorts that matched her slippers.

They were both happy as could be. Mackenzie didn't couldn't wait to put on the pajamas so she immediately took her shower once we got home. She couldn't even wait until after dinner. While she was doing that I was opening up Handy Manny. Jackson spent the rest of the evening playing with him and his tools. Mackenzie looks so cute in the pajamas and she is so happy with her choice.

So thank you Brad for giving us a good afternoon. The cards (oh and Jackson loved the Scooby Doo card) and money were so nice. We have been so tight on funds lately and have not been able to even do the smallest things for them. To be able to pick out those things tonight just made their day. Now if we can just get back on our feet so we don't sound so pathetic. It's very demoralizing and I want to be able to take care of ourselves and not rely on others.

Well Rested

I cannot believe it. I actually got a great nights sleep last night. I went to bed shortly after 10pm and I had just fed Avery. I put her in her bassinet and she didn't make a peep. I was able to roll over and go to bed. Now the other two kids hated being in their own beds. They'd make noise, cry, etc. I eventually gave up and had them sleeping in the bed with me. I know that is not safe and I don't need any angry emails from people giving me a lecture on how dangerous it is.

She woke up around 1:30 and I fed her. She went right back to sleep and again didn't make a peep in her bed. This was the way it went again at 5:30. It was so wonderful. I was able to immediately go back to bed after each feeding. She was peacefully sleeping. It was a wonderful night. I actually felt good when I got up this morning. Let's see if we can have this happen two nights in a row.

I forgot how much babies pass gas. She passes gas quite frequently. She doesn't cry when she does it so that is a good thing. She does stretch and make a baby grunt when she does it. I cannot lie when I tell you how bad it smells. It reeks. I think it also gets trapped in her outfit and it lingers. So much for the always sweet smelling babies.

I also forgot how many noises babies make. The grunts and stretching noises. Any time she moves she makes these noises. They're awfully loud too. It's amazing how much noise, pee, poop and gas can come from a little 5lb baby. She seems to enjoy all the racket she makes too. If she can just go easy on my sense of smell.

Deeply Distrubing

My life right now revolves around catering to Jackson and Avery during the day. I keep my laptop handy and that's how I am staying connected to the outside world. I have been deeply disturbed by some of the news this week.

The whole scandle with Gov. Blagojevich is utterly fascinating but makes me sick to my stomach because it shows us exactly what does happen with those we've elected. I know this isn't the first time bribes, payoffs, etc for positions has happened but for it to be exposed and for us American's to be able to hear the actual phone calls just makes it even more real. At what point do the elected officials lose any sense of right and wrong? What happens to those idealistic men who are elected? Are politics so corrupt that in order to be elected you have to put aside what you really stand for? It is so sad that this seems to be the case.

The other night when I couldn't sleep I read the entire 74 page affidavit agains the Gov. Yes, I know I'm a little nuts for reading it but I have to admit it is just fascinating to read it all. I am ashamed that someone of that caliber is in the highest office on the state level. What I don't get is why he is still holding on? I do not know how the man can show his face in public but much less go to work and say it's business as usual. I just shudder at the thought of how much this goes on with our elected officials.

The 2nd story that has deeply distrubed me is an ongoing one. Yesterday they found the remains of a young girl who is believed to be Caylee Anthony. Her mother, Casey Anthony, is such a worthless person. (I'm trying to refrain from using obscenities) I have read the transcripts from the interview with her dad, brother, the girl she stole from, the guy she was living with for the month Caylee was missing and not reported, her ex-fiance, and other friends. And yes, I have no life, but find this stuff just fascinating. There were transcripts from an online conversation she had with a guy over a 2 month period. The way she spoke about her daughter was unbelieveable. She called her such horrible names and spoke of her like she was a huge pain in the butt. I understand that she had Caylee at a young age and her freedom was greatly curtailed and she could not go out and live a single life but this is her daughter we're talking about.

Casey has shown no remorse or concern for her missing daughter. The only tears she has shed are those when she was indcited for 1st degree murder. That's it. I can assure you if any of my kids were missing I'd be absolutely hysterical. They'd have to have a Dr. give me drugs to calm me down and knock me out. Oh and this reaction would not be after a month of my kids missing either.

So a utility worker found a body 1/4 of a mile from her house. It is that of a young child that reportedly had duct tape around the mouth of the skull. This morning I read that that the sherrif is saying that there is evidence with the body that shows it came from the Anthony home. They will not elaborate at this time what it is. I don't think there is any doubt in anyones minds that it isn't Caylee.

Now that they have a body I hope the prosecutors decide to go after the death penalty. Well, you know I'm not sure that's what would be best. She'd spend around 15 years waiting for appeals to finish and then die a short death. If she had life in prision with no parole then she'd probably be in general population and would probably be beat up and have horrible things done to her. From the documentaries I've watch child killers and rapists are despised in prison and are tormented. Perhpas that is best for her. Spend the rest of her life in prison having to watch her back every second and having horrible things done to her. Payback for taking this precious child's life.

So the news lately has been distrubing. Yeah, and I have to admit my thoughts on what I hope happen to Casey in jail are slightly disturbing too but they are in line with what she has done. Oh and I've thrown out the whole innocent until proven guilty line out on this one. She's guilty.

Exhaustion

I am absoutely worn out. I just could not go to sleep last night. I don't think I finally went to sleep until it was after 3am. When I finally did get to sleep I only got up for a moment at 7 to fix Mackenzie's har and then at 8 to feed Avery but Lee did that for me and let me sleep some more. I didn't get up until 11:15. It still wasn't enough sleep to make be feel completely rested. Now it's almost 9 and I'm really tired and ready to go to bed.

It has been raining for the past 2 days. I hate it. I absoulutely hate this rain. Our back yard looks like a lake and the sides of the houses look like the streets of Venice. The kids I know are going stir crazy. Mackenzie can't go outside at school and is stuck inside. Jackson can't go outside here. They both have lots of energy they need to run out and unfortunately I don't know where they can do that. Right now they've resorted to using my bedroom as their track. I don't know why they feel the need to use my room to chase each other and drive each other crazy. It gets so loud in here.

Well the original Lampoon's Vacation movie is almost over and all of us can finally go to bed. I'm ready for a good nights rest.

Today was just a very nasty day. It has poured down rain all day long. It didn't help that I had to drive to Pensacola today for Avery's appointment with the pediatric cardiologist. It made for a very long drive. It didn't help that I had to take Jackson with me to the appointment. I do have to say though he was a very good boy. He was very patient during the car ride which I didn't know if he would be or not.

The Nemours Children's Hospital is a really nice place. It is attached to the Sacred Heart Hospital in Pensacola. I really liked Dr. Davenport but I honestly didn't care for the nurse too much. I guess it is how she talked to Jackson. It wasn't the nicest way and he wasn't bothering her at all. They did an EKG on Avery and will do one each time they see her. Right now they cannot determine what course of action if any will need to be taken with her condition. She will need to be seen every month for the next few months so that they can see #1 if the hole is getting smaller and #2 if it is causing more of a strain on her heart.

He said that they don't really base the severity of this kind on the size but based on if it has as small, medium or large impact on the heart. This can only be told over time. Within 3 months we should have an idea of what we are looking at. He said that there is only a small chance that she will have to have any type of surgery. If her heart is working overtime then the signs we need to look for is if she is not gaining weight and if she isn't eating as much as she once was. The weight loss/lack of gain would be to her heart working overtime and burning more calories. The lack of eating is because she will be tired because of the heart working extra hard.

So overall I think everything will be okay in the long run. I am very thankful for her and how healthy she has been so far.

Yesterday I got to go to the wonderful Dr. to get sewn back together. She couldn't put me back together because there is still some infection there. So I get to stop having the hole packed and let it just close up on it's on. In other news I got another type of infection on the other side of my incision. So more medication for me. I can't stand this. I am just ready for my body to get back to normal. I am still wearing my maternity jeans because I don't want there to be any pressure on my wound. I cannot wait to put on my old Gap jeans. I *think* they'll fit and just hope they will!

I am so proud of Mackenzie. She brought her progress report home on Friday and she is doing so good! I think she's doing a great job especially with all of the things that we have had going on lately. Between us moving out of the house for a while to me being in the hospital and then having Avery early it couldn't make things easy for her. Her world was turned upside down. She has been a trooper!

All and all things have been going pretty well. I am a little sad because two of my favorite shows have been canceled. It's so depressing. The only two shows that I enjoy and watch are gone forever. Boo hoo hoo!

New Pictures

This post is just of some recent pictures of Avery, Jackson and Mackenzie. This post is for Grandmother Godfrey. I hope this makes it easier on you to see the pictures of the kids. This way you don't have to try and figure out how to open the attachments in an email. I love you Grandmother! I love you too Avonelle and Wilson!


Jackson and Avery on her 1st Day home


Jackson and Avery while she's swinging (this swing is a lifesaver!)


Jackson being silly


and again being a tad silly



Avery's Bath (oh and she slept through the whole thing)



Avery's Bath (she had just eaten thus her big belly!)


Avery laying in her Boppy



Avery and Mackenzie

I have to just say that my lasagna I made last night turned out really good. I'm very impressed with the recipe I used and of course my cooking skills. I just ate some leftovers and it is even better today than it was out of the over. Now that is a rare thing for me since those who know me well know I hate leftovers. Even though it's great I'm kicking myself now for making it because I can just see myself gaining weight. I have lost a whole bunch of weight just by giving birth and now weigh a lot less than when I started out with the pregnancy. I just don't want to gain any back. I want to continue to lose weight. My goal is to lose 35lbs. I think I'm going to have to bansih myself to just eating a bowl of cereal for lunch and dinner. Yuck.

I got so tired yesterday afternoon during the game. I had spent all morning working on the lasanga sauce, cooking the meat, boiling the noodles, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the den, cleaning Jackson's room, etc. I almost fell asleep during half time but my neighbor Maria came by the house to see Avery. I know she was excited to finally see her. I meant to have her come by sooner but things just have gotten hectic and I haven't been that motivated this week to have people over. I am glad that she was able to come over. I love Maria to pieces and Mackenzie loves her kids Stella and Emily.

If I can get enough energy and motivation together I think I am going to Carter's outlet to exchange a few of Avery's outfits that are size 6 months so I can get a few more pieces in Newborn size that actually fit her. I feel as if I'm constantly washing the 4 outfits she has. I need just a few more items. Now when she finally moves into the 0-3 month cloths she'll have plenty to wear. Until then we're not working with much. I never imagined having a baby that couldn't wear the 0-3 month clothes right away.

I have to say I just love my family. The kids are so wonderful and loving. Yes, they do drive each other crazy (and of course me too) but they love each other and are so compassionate. I cannot imagine having better kids. I can imagine having them a little calmer some days but that's beside the point. Jackson and Mackenzie absolutely adore Avery and aren't the least bit jealous. I am so amazed at how receptive Jackson has been of her. I think it's a good thing she's a girl and not a boy. If it was another little boy I think he'd really have a problem. They are constantly begging to hold her and feed her. It's really sweet. Exhausting but sweet.

I cannot believe that today is Sunday. It means it is the last day of being able to sleep until we wake up. I hate alarm clocks. Especially ones that go off at 7am. When Lee starts working again and is out of town for those 10 weeks I am going to dread having to get up and take her to school. I enjoy being semi lazy. I am sure that will change but right now I enjoy not having to get ready for anything specific until much later in the day. It actually makes me feel a tad bit lazy because untl I stopped working this summer I have always had to get up and get going every morning. It is nice though to have a break from it all. It gets exhausting having to always be on the go.

I know my last post got a little personal regarding our families financial situation. I did not post that for anyone to feel badly for us, etc. It more than anything was to just show that we are having a hard time and could use everyone's prayers. It also might give some insight to any frustration I've shown in my posts. It has been very frustrating and it might come out in other areas of my life.

Exciting Saturday?

I'm hoping today will be a fun and exciting day. We have the SEC Championship game today at 3 on CBS. I cannot wait to watch the game. I have a very strong feeling that Florida is going to just steamroll Alabama. I am not sure how I really want the outcome to be. They only reason I can think of wanting Alabama to win is because they are currently #1 and the chances of Florida winning and making it to the #1 or #2 spot in the BCS rankings for the major title game is next to impossible. I really want a SEC team going to the big game. Bad thing is if Alabama does go to that game then they will probably be beaten badly and embarass the SEC. Florida is really the only chance that the SEC has for winning the big game. We'll see how it all goes today. I am excited about having one last game to really pull watch in college football.

Tonight is lasagna night and I'm pretty excited about it. For those of you following this blog since before Avery was born will know that for 2 nights before I was admitted to the hosptial to have her we I was trying to cook lasagna. Now my Italian food cravings have gone away since I had Avery but it still sounds really good! I'm also planning on making some chili. Yummy! Plus I can eat on it for a few days. It's cheap and with our lack of money cheap is good.

I am just glad that with our financial situation and Lee's new job not starting until the 28th and having no income come in that I had all of those diapers stockpiled. Never again can Lee make fun of me for stock piling anything again. The multitude of diapers been a lifesaver for us. If we had to buy diapers right now we'd go in the red. I'm also so thankful that the Dr. office gave us 5 cans of the powdered formula that Avery is on for right now. It's outrageously expensive and there is no way we could do it.

My parents have been a major lifesaver and have helped us out with our utilities this month and the car repairs on Lee's car. It's so demoralizing having to have that kind of help from family. It's just utterly depressing to be quite honest. Never before have we been in a financial situation like this. It has been just devestating to our financial wellbeing with Lee being laid off the week before Avery was born. We are very thankful that Lee has already gotten a job especially in this economy but it's just been very disheartening. I can't believe I am even admitting this on here.

Every year for Christmas we have gone too far with the kids presents. They have way too many things. This year the sad part is we cannot buy them even one present. It's sad trying to figure out how Santa is going to come. I know there are more things to Christmas but this is the fun part for the kids. My mom said that she and dad would buy the kids the 1 item that they both wanted and it could be from Santa but that's about all they'll get. My parents have already spent so much money helping us with the kids while I was in the hospital and with us that they shouldn't do any more.

I just want Lee to get a paycheck so we can buy things ourselves. I don't want to have to rely on others to buy groceries and gas. We now have less than $175 in our account to last us until his first paycheck in January. Lee is scared out of his mind and I'm trying to remain positive because if I don't then he'll just keep focusing on it and freak out. I can't let that happen. So please just pray that it all works out for us. Please pray that Lee can try and remain positive and that I will be a good wife and support to him because God knows I have a hard time sometimes.

Little Oinker!

Little Miss Avery has turned into a little pig. She went from barely eating a little over an ounce over a 20 minutes period to inhaling 2 ounces in 5 minutes. I'm so proud of my little girl. It's shocking to see her eat so fast and so eagerly. I do not have to be concerned at all about her not eating, which is such a relief.

She had her weight check appointment yesterday. She went from 4lbs 14oz to 5lb 2oz which is really good. I can tell she's gaining weight too. her little cheeks are getting a little chubby. She does still have her chicken legs though. I don't think they're going away any time soon. We go back on the 15th for her next check up. We go next Wednesday to Pensacola to see the Pediatric Cardiologist for a follow up echo on her heart. I'm sure it will be the same as the others but it will be nice having an actually ped cardiologist looking at her.

Tonight we were going to have our Friday Family Movie Night but I was too tired after cooking supper and cleaning up to watch the movie. We are going to do it tomorrow instead. We are going to watch the Griswold Christmas Vacation. I absolutely love that movie. We watched it last year together and I hope to make it a Christmas tradition. So tomorrow it's lasagna for dinner then our wonderful movie. I can't wait!

I feel as if having Avery home and added to our family feels a little odd. I am so glad that she's home and love her more than anything but it just feels so different than what it was like with Mackenzie and Jackson. I am sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that she was in the hospital for 17 days and couldn't come home with me. I started thinking about it last night and why I feel this way. It's not a negative feeling towards her or her coming home at all. I can't explain it. I feel cheated of the entire bonding experience in the hospital with her. I was so dopped up for 2 days I don't remember much of anything from her birth. It is also so different to give birth via c/s. My other kids I pushed into this world and immediately had them on my chest. Other than the second I saw her in the operating room I didn't see her for more than a day.

On top of that I don't want neglect the other kids. I guess I am just worried about balancing all 3 of them. I looked at Jackson Tuesday night and I realized for the first time how big he has gotten. He's grown up before my eyes. It made me kind of sad. He's been the ones that likes to cuddle and adores me and I have to admit I love it so much. He is my little munchkin and I feel as if I've blinked and he's gotten to be a big boy. I guess it hit me that he won't stay this age forever and it made me a little sad.

Mackenzie is already such a big girl. It's already hit me that she's not still little and so I'm past that part with her. I just don't want her feeling neglected because of Avery. I want her to know that she's still my little girl and that just because there is a new baby that doesn't mean that she gets the shaft. I think I've done a decent job of balancing it all so far but it just seems a little hard. I think it will get better when Avery isn't so tiny and doesn't require so much attention.

I am sure that my worries are for nothing. I think it's just the overwhelming feeling I have now that the realization that we have 3 kids has set in. I want to make sure that no one ever feels left out. At the same time I still feel I have more bonding to do with Avery. It seems as if I'm making up for lost time. It's not easy bonding with your baby when they've got feeding tubes in their noses and monitors hooked up to them. It's not easy when you sit holding her for a couple of hours and have to leave her behind.

Maybe this is just my hormones talking. Or perhaps even the infection I have from the abscess. Lee is still changing the dressing on it 2 times a day. I have 2 1/2 days left of my 2 antibiotics and I still have infection on the gauze. Maybe once I feel completely healed from the whole experience I'll feel a lot better. Just right now I still feel so cut up (as I should because I still have an open hole in my stomach about 3 inches wide) and just yucky. Here's to hoping I feel better soon and can keep my hormones in check.

Lee's Snoring

I have complained many times on here about Lee's snoring. I don't know if anyone understands how loud it can really be. Well the other week, while Avery was still in the NICU, I could not go to sleep because of his snoring. It was bad. So I got out the camera and took a short video of him snoring. You can't see much of anything because it's so dark but you can hear it. I showed this to him the next day and even he had to admit it was bad. So for those of you who just can't believe that we don't sleep in the same room and that he is banished to the couch you can finally hear why. Trust me, you wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room with him. I can still hear him in the den from our bedroom. I'm hoping when we move to B'ham our new house will have a basement that is finished or partially finished and he can be banished to the downstairs area at night so we don't have to hear it. I know it sounds mean but listen. You'll get it.

I have to say that yesterday was tiring but Avery and I slept surprisingly well last night. It was great. Avery had her first Dr. appointment with Dr. Allen (her ped) yesterday. It is funny because I had already made the appt for her on 12/1 a month ago when we had my induction scheduled for 11/24. Dr. Allen wanted to see her the Monday after she was born because of the VSD (hole in the heart). I never canceled it and it just so happened that it was perfectly planned because she had to see her ped the day after her hospital discharge anyway. I love it when things like that just happen.

So she and I had our first outing and she did well in the car. I was a little nervous with her in the back by herself but she was a champ. It was great seeing Dr. Allen and his nurse Nancy. I just love both of them. Dr. Allen reminds me a lot personality wise of my ped when I was a kid. I adored Dr. Morrison and while we lived in Montgomery he was also Mackenzie's ped. Avery had what I think might of been her first anal temperature reading and not her last I'm sure. Her temp was a good 98.1 so I had done a decent job keeping her warm and helping her mantain her heat. She was a whopping 4lbs 14.5oz. That's up 1/2oz from Sunday but this is a different scale and it could be the difference between a pee and poop so who knows exactly how much she lost/gained in 1 day.

Dr. Allen looked over her heart echo and said that it seemed as if it should close on it's own but only time will tell. He is setting up and appt for her w/ the pediatric cardiologist from P'cola who travels to Destin. She will have a repeat echo to see if it has gotten any smaller. He listened to her heart and told me that it was really loud (the murmur) but that the louder they are the better it is. She was so good for them. We got back on Thursday for them to recheck her weight. This and the body temperature and amount of formula she takes are really important rigth now. We will probably be going 2-3 weeks for weight checks until the end of December.

Good news is they had the special formula that she's on (Enfamil Enfacare 22 calorie) and gave us all they had which was 5 cans of the powdered formula. He's only going to keep her on it until she reaches her due date of 12/21 or a weight comparable to a birth weight of a full term baby or until it's all gone. He thinks we'll have more than enough to last us and if not he said they can make a call and have a case sent to our house for free. I think that is so nice of them. This formula is very expensive and I can't imagine paying for it continually.

After her Dr. appointment we stopped by the bank and headed over to pick up Mackenzie. I had given my parents the pick up card for my car to pick up Mackenzie at home so I had to go inside the school and get a new one. Connie, the best front desk support person who holds the school together ever, didn't see me set Avery down and asked me how I was feeling, etc. I didn't mention Avery at all to her. I was getting ready to leave and she was walking around the desk to go somewhere and she about fell over. She had no idea she had been born. She was off the day we were up at the school for Mackenzie's T-giving play. She ooooo'd and awwww'd over her. I then had to peek my head in nurse Lisa's office. She's been keeping up with the pregnancy and has been so wonderful ever since Mackenzie had those horrible stomach problems last year. She said she had to see her. She told me when she's a little bigger I have to come back so she can hold her. I assured her I would.

While waiting in line to pick up Mackenzie Avery started fussing. I realized that it was time for her to eat. I had Mackenzie sit in the back to help feed her. She was really excited to help. When Avery started sucking Kenzie got all excited and started praising her. She only took 5cc but when we got home she wolfed down the normal amount.

I took Jackson outside to see if Witt or Stevie could play. It was really windy and cold but I knew he wanted to play so badly. We went down to Stevie's house and Witt was over there with Anna, his mom. Jackson didn't want to go inside and play. So off we went to play outside. My sweet neighbor Donna came outside and talked to me for a bit. She had come by the house a couple of times to check on me while I was at the hospital. Of course Lee doesn't give the details that people want to know. He just told her that he'd tell me she came by. He did and it was nice knowing someone came by. Anyway, we did end up back at Stevie's house.

I was talking to Landis and Anna about the birth and c-section. Both of them had c-sections and Anna is having a repeat c/s this time around. Oh and she finds out today if she's having a boy or girl. I know she's really excited to find out because I am and it's not even my baby. I told them about the abscess and all the "fun" stuff that came along w/ the c/s. I told them that they should come over on Tuesday (today) to see her while the big kids are in school. Well lo and behold there was a knock on the door and Lee had brought down Avery to me. He thought the ladies would want to see her. She was a big hit with them.

Stevie saw her in my arms and he's Jackson's age and asked me if she was real. It's funny because Jackson thought she wasn't real too the first time he saw her. Stevie is a really rough and tough boy but was so sweet over Avery. It was really cute. She just slept for them. Now I dont' have to worry about having people over at the house. Not that I mind but I just hate having to get all dressed and ready unless I have to. I did not use to be that way but man how things have changed.

Last night went so well with Avery. She ate 45cc at 6:00 and shocked me by that. That's the most she's ever eaten by bottle. She started getting really fussy around 9 and I could not imagine her being hungry but I tried the bottle any way. She only ate 15cc and then was snoozing away. I figured she'd eat again around 11 or so. I was so wrong. She slept until 1am. I felt a little bad her going that longbut she did have enough to last her that long if you count what she had a 6. So I fed her about 40cc and then she fell fast asleep again. I put her in the bassinet and didn't hear a peep. Imagine my surprise when I woke up to her stirring at 6:00 on the dot. I felt so bad because she needed to eat by 5 even if it meant me waking her up. I fed her and all seems well. She ate another 40cc and seems to be increasing her food on her own.

She's sleeping in the bassinet next to me right now. I've got Jackson to the right of me in the bed rubbing his cheek on my arm. He's so soft. Lee is still gone taking Mackenzie to school. Hopefully today will be a calm day. I spoke too soon because I hear her fussing. Off to see what she needs.

Sleepless Nights Begin

I could definitely use a good nights sleep. I think Friday night was the last good nights sleep I've had for at least 6 months or maybe longer. It's okay, it's a sacrifice but I am looking forward to at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Needless to say our first night at home with Avery went fairly well. She ate at 9:15 and I think I got an hour of sleep sometime before she woke up at 11:45. She was just stiring and not fully ready to eat yet. I fed her at 12:15 and she took 35cc which wasn't too bad. She wasn't ready to eat again until 3:45 so I got about 2 hours of sleep in between the two feedings. It takes her about 20-30 minutes to eat and it takes me about that long just to fall back asleep.



It's not all bad though. I'm enjoying the lack of sleep. The kids are still enamoured with Avery. I'm sure the novelty will wear off before long. Until then it's a little chaotic in the bedroom where her bassinet is.