Testing My Faith and Our Baby

I have posted lately about how I think God has a hand in things in our life right now. I have said this many times to my parents and a few others. Honestly I don't have a great relationship with Him. I've prayed many times over the past week or so telling God that whatever His will is then so be it. I have prayed to Him and just talked to Him telling Him that I think that moving would be something that helps our family spiritually and will hopefully bring us closer to him. There are so many Godly influences and people in B'ham that will help us stay on path. Accountability.

I think God might be testing my faith in Him and His will. Yesterday I had a Dr.s appointment. Mackenzie had been sick throwing up through the night so she was staying at home. I left her and Jackson (Lee was sleeping in the den) around 7:30 to run a few errands and go see Dr. Petrac. I go to my appt. and my BP is up. I think it was 160/100. Not the end of the world, but not good either. The particular nurse who saw me drives me crazy. She won't tell me my BP after she reads it. She says she doesn't want to worry me and have it go higher. I tell her I'm use to this. We go through this whenever she sees me. I told her I was under a lot of stress lately and perhaps that is what's causing it to go a little high.

Dr. Petrac comes in and is a little worried about my BP. She said that the baby's heart beat is good and strong. Perhaps a little too strong I'm thinking now. I told her that I had had some headaches but I had taken my BP each time and it was low for me and not what I considered a BP induced headache. I did tell her that my ankles had become swollen on a few occasions after standing for 30mins to an hour. One day I remember in particular I was folding laundry and it happened.

She brought the table up and had me sitting up. She wanted to re-check my BP in a few mins after resting. I guess the other nurse mentioned to Pam, the nurse I love, that my BP was high and she came in to check it. It was still high. I told her about the stress I had felt lately and how I knew God was apart of this all but I couldn't help but be a little stressed.

My Perinatologist (the specialist) happened to be seeing patients in her office that day (yesterday, Tuesday) and she wanted me to go get my blood drawn for some tests and the come back up and wait to see the Perinatologist, Dr. Thorpe. She just wanted them to do another scan of the baby, evaluate my BP, etc. So I go and wait an hour to get my blood drawn and I'm finally back in her office around 11:15.

I put my name on the list and start waiting. Thankfully I had my Sudoku book with me. Lee called me around 11:40 and told me he had gotten off the phone with one of the country club managers in B'ham. Not the amazing guy we've been working with but another guy. This guy made Lee feel discouraged about working for him, etc. and he was a little down and disappointed. Later on Lee talked to the two men he's been talking to and he feels much much better and things are still going okay and are in God's hands.

Then Lee calls me a little bit later and said that he had to go into work early because some big wigs were coming to the restaurant and Ed, his General Manager, was freaking out and wanted Lee to come in early. Well Lee had the kids and I told him I was still waiting but I would hurry. I even told him that he could bring the kids up to me and he could go on to work. He was all stressed and put me in a bad position. Nothing I suggested made him happy and there was nothing snapping him out of being stressed. Between work and the talk with that guy in B'ham he wasn't in a good place.

It was around 12:30 when they finally brought me back. The nurse took my BP again and it was 167/109 and she decided to check the other arm and it was 170/109. I truly believe that Lee stressing me out made it go up. So they take me into the room and the u/s tech starts looking at the baby. She double checked and it's still a girl. Then the Dr. came in and had another Dr. with him, I think one that is doing his residency in Perinatology.

The Dr. and u/s tech start talking and then he tells me that Avery (our little girls name) has Ventricular Septal Defect. It's just a fancy term meaning she has a hole in her heart. He and the u/s tech spent a lot of time going over the the entire heart, etc. He showed me where the blood is pouring out between the chambers of the heart. The screen had red and blue spots which represent the blood going up and going down. He was right it was pouring through. He tells me not to worry that this is not uncommon (like 1-2% of al babies).

They scan the baby some more and find something else. The umbiblical cord should have 2 arteries and 1 vein. Well Avery only has 1 artery and 1 vein. I am then told that when a baby has this condition with the cord that it is typically an indication that there is something else wrong with the baby. Well that would explain the hole in her heart. Again, Dr. Thorpe tells me not to worry right now. Umm... well it's a little hard not to worry.

He mentioned that I can have an amnio done and it will tells with 99.99% certainty if there are any chromosomal defects. I quickly told him no that I didn't want to have it done. He said no problem. He did want me to talk to the genetic counselor about what I'm facing, etc. He also wanted the nurse to go over Pre-e with me. This is the 3rd pregnancy I've had it so I'm pretty well schooled in what to expect, etc. but I induldged him. I couldn't refuse him.

So I talk with the genetic counselor. She hands me information on both the umbiblical cord defect and the congenital heart condition. We talk about the amnio and I told her I wasn't sure I wanted it done. When she told me that they don't go through the belly button for some reason it made me feel much better. She said that women compare it to bad period cramps. You see when you have the cord issues it typically means there is something else wrong and then the heart defect is what they found that was wrong and when you find the heart defect along with the cord there is a good chance that there is a chromosomal abnormality. Whew.

So I finally decided to have the amnio done. I am going to call them today or tomorrow to set it up. Once she said that appx. 1 out of 10 of her patients that have both of these conditions have a baby with Down Syndrome I felt the need to have it done. There are also chances of another defect. I am scared. I cannot lie. Okay, take the heart defect. It can possibly heal before she's born or worse case scenario she will have to have surgery to close the hole. She can make it through this.

Worst case scenario regarding a chromosomal abnormality is that she has a defect that causes her to not to make it after her birth. Chances of this is sooooo slim. However, if it does happen we will get through this. I followed some blogs last year of women who had babies with Trisomy 17 and their babies only lived a few weeks or days. It was amazing how strong they were. What's even more amazing is how close they became to God and how their faith was strengthened throughout all of the trials.

If she does have Downs then we'll make it through that too. I finally spoke to Jana last night for the first time in months. I was crying to her about all of this. She said that if there was anyone who she could see handling it that it was me. Truth be told it would be hard but I can see us making it just fine. At one point Mackenzie asked me why I was crying (it was when I finally broke down after all of this and I was in the bathroom) and I told her that it was because of Avery. She asked if there was more than the hole in the heart. I told her that there is a small chance that she could have Downs Syndrome or something else.

My beautiful daughter said to me "That's okay mama, I go to school with a girl who has it and she is the sweetest and pretties girl. And she's sooooo smart too. If Avery has it she will still be pretty as a pearl and I'll love her even more". Now what an amazing daughter I have. I am so lucky in so many ways.

Chances are everything will be fine. I do think that all of this is a test of my faith. It's not easy but I am trying. Please keep Avery in your prayers.

eBay is Tiring!

\Man on man am I exhausted. I had 61 of my auctions end today and 51 of those sold. I have to say not too bad. The auctions began ending last night and then through out the day. After I got back from taking Mackenzie to school I began shipping things out for the ones I received payment for. Can I just say it is tiring?

I think 36 or so of the auctions out of the 51 have been paid for. I had one lady win 5 auctions and all her stuff is packed and ready to go. Just waiting on her payment. Then I had another girl buy a ton of my hair dye. Waiting on payment then it's off. It helped so much to stuff the envelopes/packages before hand and put the last 4 numbers of the auction on the outside. So when I was ready to ship it I just matched up the numbers and printed the label. Oh yeah, I had already weighed the packages too.

This will be some extra money although I don't know how worth it it has been. It has been very time consuming but it's also cleared out some of my house. I've got so much more to clear out it's ridiculous. I need someone to just buy everything from me. Just clean me out and resell it. I'll even sell it to them for nothing just get rid of it.

The kids and I went to Cantina Laredo tonight. I just couldn't eat dinner there. I just don't like the food any more. All I want is some Italian food or a loaf of warm sourdough bread. Lee just doesn't understand how certain foods just don't taste good to me. If only he were pregnant. He made the mistake the other day of saying the other day "What's worse than being pregnant? Being married to a pregnant lady". Ummm... that did not go over well. When I give birth to Avery I'm going to have him hooked up to some contraption that makes him feel everything I do. Surely there has to be something out there like this. If he felt 1/10 of what I felt he'd go nuts.

So I'm going to get off the computer. eBay, Paypal, shipping... I'm very tired.

Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac Bailout?

I wake up this morning and after putting the cinammon rolls in the oven I open my laptop to check FoxNews.com as I do every morning. One of the headlines is a possible government bailout for both Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. One that could take place as early as today and cost the tax payers up to $25 BILLION DOLLARS. This to me is a bad deal all the way around.

First of all the real estate crisis was in full swing last year. Both companies knew what was going on and the impact it was going to have on the economy and their companies. I am sure they were well aware of the ramifications long before we, the public, were. That being said the CEO's of the companies took in $11.6 mi and $18.2 mil in salary, bonuses, and stock options in 2007. Now the only conlusion I can come to is that they really don't care about what was happening to the every day people and want to get as much money as they could while they could.

Now there is a record 9% of the 4 million homeowner's who are either behind on their payments or are in foreclosure. I put the blame squarely on the shoulders of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Anyone who applied for a mortgage or talked to someone about mortgages in the past 5 years will tell you how easy it is to get one.

The mainstream mortgage loans (loans that most people with decent credit obtain from places like Wells Fargo, Countrywide, etc.) use guidelines for their loan approvals. Guess who issues the guidlines that are to be followed? Both of the Big Mac's. As long as the lenders follow their guidelines for loans then the Big Mac's (I got tired of typing both their names) will buy the loans from the lenders. You may make your payments to Countrywide but one of the Big Mac's is the one who really owns your mortgage. The company you make your payments to is just the servicer.

Now I've been in real estate for 10 years now. My first 5 years was at Regions Mortgage in Montgomery. I knew those guildelines forwards and backwards at the time. They were always changes with new updates from the Big Mac's but pretty much the same over that time period. We had the no income loans where you didn't have to prove your income but your credit had to be astronomically high. If you wanted to buy a house with no money down you again had to have credit out of this world and show that you had the reserves and money to make your payments.

At some point down the road I think someone must have gotten greedy. The guidelines for the Big Mac backed loans started getting very laxed. I think in some cases guidlines were just thrown out the window. Have a credit score of 585 and want a mortgage with no money down? No problem. Is the monthly payment more than 50% of your total monthly income? Who cares, let's get you in this house. I have seen this happen time after time again. For the past 5 years I worked on the title side but I get to see the final loan package that shows the loan application with their income and debt. I see their Note and how much they're borrowing along with their rate and payments. Sometimes they even included their credit report or a document had their scores on it. Most of these people had no business getting loans.

The laxed guidelines also helped those people who wanted to buy second homes or investment properties. No money to put down? So what. We'll even let you get a loan that you only pay interest payments for up to the first 10 years. They wanted to make it as easy as it could possible so those people who get in to a vacation home. It helped the investors rack up 5 investment properties at a time.

Now it was good for a while. Especially where I live. Property values were low. Investors started buying up condos and flipping them in a month or two or even less and making $50k a pop. We saw condos being flipped 5 times. It over inflated the value of our homes. The laxed guidelines was the conduit for this to happen. Now I live in an area where we've had over 2500 people who had foreclosures filed just last year. This year I can't give a solid number but I'd say we're up to 2000. I haven't kept up with it in the past 3 months so that's conservative.

The Big Mac's made it where first time homebuyer's dreams could come true. They got greedy and now we're the ones suffering. They put us in homes we could not afford when it was apparent at application. They caused investors to go into certain areas and take out these crazy risky mortgages and continue to flip the loans again and again. Mortgage loan officers looked the other way when they knew that Joe Blow was buying 5 properties at one time so they wouldn't all show up on his credit if he bought them spaced apart. You see Joe Blow couldn't afford 1 property and even if he could the 5 propeties would certainly not go through.

So while it is not entirely the Big Mac's fault they are the ones that started it. I believe it was caused either by greed on their parts, because for a while it was good, I mean really good for them or perhaps they thought that it would help more people get into homes or perhaps they thought it would help stimulate the enconomy (now if that's the case it's the stupidest reason ever because things were good before they got involved).

I don't think the government should bail them out. I don't think that I should have to help pay part of the $25 billion dollars to bail them out. Major companies go bust time and time again. Why is this different? I would like to see a detailed report on what would happen if they were left on their own. It couldn't be any worse than it is now. I think it was $3 trillion in loans that have been foreclosed on this past year. Let them deal with it. Yes, they are a publically traded company that is government backed. But how can we continue backing companies that have made one bad decision after another? We have a president that makes $250k a year and yet the Big Mac CEO's make almost 73 times the amount of the leader of our country?

Let them fail. They have failed so many homeowner's. Most homeowner's don't have a clue how the process really works. They just know they go apply for a loan from a bank and need to provide this, this and that. They don't know the rest that goes on. But for those in foreclosure I think it was ultimately the laxed guidelines that helped cause it. For those who lost jobs because of the economy, well, the housing crisis is the main reason our economy has gone to hell in a hand basket and the housing crisis began when anyone off the street could get a loan.

Okay, enough about my tirade. I'm just frustrated. We've personally been hit by the whole housing crisis. We've had now 18 individually owned houses on our street go into foreclosure and 34 builder owned homes in foreclosure in our subdivision this year alone. When is it going to stop?

God Please Give Me Patience

Patience is not something I have a lot of. Okay, who am I kidding. I don't think I have any patience. I know I have touched on this here and there on my blog. It's also something about me that everyone knows without me even saying it. This wait on if we're going to be able to move or not is killing me. I can't stand not knowing. It's frustrating. I keep saying that God's hand is in this and I still firmly believe it is and this might be his way of teaching me patience.

My dad saw Mr. Belcher yesterday and relayed to him how appreciative I am for what he has done so far for us. Still we receive nothing but positive words from him. I really felt the need to express my gratitude to him for what he has done thus far. I felt compelled to and did send him an email thanking him. I told him even if this doesn't pan out he has done more than anyone should have ever done for us. I got a very nice response back from him.

Dad had a really good point in all of this too. He said that if it wasn't for Lee and how he has impressed them thus far not only with his resume (which I have to say was spectacularly written) but his personality with Mr. Carr over the phone. Lee is amazing with people and knows how to win them over. It's not to say that he just knows how to win them over but he follows through with it. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments.

I am giddy with excitment though. I really feel like this is going to happen. I know I shouldn't get excited but it's hard not too. Especially since there is an official opening at a club. Part of me thinks that if I get too excited that it won't come through. I use to think this when I was younger that if I got to excited about a trip to Six Flags with the church group or something similar that if I got too excited before hand that it would fall through. I know it has nothing to do with the final outcome. I just don't want to be utter disappointed if it doesn't pan out.

Okay, enough of my rambling.

Lee was off work yesterday and he stayed with Lee while I left for my OB appt. While I was on my way there they called to reschedule it. Thank goodness I wasn't too far from home or I would've been really mad! But I came home and then just ended up leaving again. I went to Target to look around and only ended up buying the mailing supplies for the items I'm selling on eBay.

We are in desperate need of money right now and I have a ton of stuff to sell on eBay. New stuff. Tons of Jackson and Mackenzie's old clothes that are in great condition. I've got 86 auctions listed right now. So far 35 or 36 of them will definitely sell. I already did a Buy it Now for one girl. My house is filled with items from my bargain shopping days. It's amazing how many items I literally got for free or .50 or so that are worth up to $10.

I have started cleaning out certain storage areas and have a box for things to sell on eBay and things for my yard sale. We had a yard sale last year and I made quite a bit of money. I think it was close to $400. This year I have even more stuff plus our old couches and some older pieces of furniture that we were given over time from people that has been sitting in our garage. Even if we don't move to B'ham I need to get rid of so much stuff.

One thing that will be a pain to move are the packages upon packages of diapers that I have. They will fill up at least 10 large moving boxes. Plus my diaper wipes will fill up 4 or so. It's been so nice not having to buy shampoo, razors, deoterant, lotion, face wash, body wash, makeup, toothbrushes, toothpaste, etc. for more than 18 months. I have it all here. We never run out. I finally ran out of detergent about 4 months back and that was sooooo sad. But alas I will get over it.

Wow I am very chatty this morning. I'm talking about everything and nothing. Ohhh... I started talking about what I did yesterday. But I got sidetracked about ebay and things in m house.

Anyway we ended up going to eat at The Crap Trap last night. It's a fun place on the beach that has the windows open throughout. It's like you're eating outside. It's also a great place to go because we eat for free. Gotta love free food! Jackson was super excited becase this is where he and Lee share the 3lb crab dinner. Yes, they share a $60 plate of crab. I can't believe how much he loves crab. He also likes it because you get a shovel and pail with your meal. He gets one even though he shares with Lee.

Down on the beach bar/snow cone area Lee saw Mike a manager he works with. After we ate we went down there and the kids sat eating blue snow cones while Lee and Mike and Mike's landlord/friend talked. His landlord is an older guy from Germany. Heavy, I mean heavy thick accent. Almost impossible to understand. He was asking me about the baby and I didn't understand half of what he said. So I just smiled and nodded my head. By the time we left our kids had blue mouths and lips.

We just went home after that as I was really tried and full. I think tonight we are going to Baytowne at Sandestin. Yet another place we eat for free and we love the band that plays outside. It's a guitar player, violin player and drummer. They play some really great songs. Most of them are older/oldies. Jackson loves sitting on the grass and "dancing". It's not really dancing but he think it is. He and Mackenzie chase each other and it's just nice.

Okay, I'm shutting up for now.

Wishin' and Hopin'

We have had some things slowly stirring up around here. A little while back I approached Lee about moving closer to my parents. I was very honest with him and told him how miserable I am living down here now. I don't have any real friends or support system. We are expecting our third child and I hate being so lonely. Lee finally said that he would try to find a job in the Birmingham area. He has been interested in working for a country club as the food and beverage director. My friends dad is a bigwig in the golf/country club industry and sent us some leads for people hiring. Only one of them was in an area that we were even slightly tempted to move to but we never heard back from them.

Then a few weeks ago my parents mentioned to the couple who sits behind them that we were trying to move to Birmingham. Dad told Dave Belcher what Lee was looking for in a job. My dad never new that Mr. Belcher would be just the right person to say this too. He slipped dad a note in church with all of his contact information and told my dad to have Lee call him. He's on the board of some country club and owns a major car dealership in town.

This happened the same Sunday that I went to my parents house. They gave me the note and I called Lee with the information. To make a long story short Lee emailed him his resume. Then Dave passed it on to Mr. Carr who is the COO/GM of an elite country club in the B'ham area. It turns out it wasn't just one of these times where someone just emails our resume to another person and it's discarded. No. Every Friday all of the GM's of the B'ham area country clubs get together for lunch. Mr. Carr made copies of Lee's resume for everyone who attended and talked him up.

When Lee talked to him last week something came up at the club and he couldn't talk to Lee but asked if he could speak to him the following day so they could have his phone interview. We had no idea that he was being officially interviewed. Or even semi-officially being interviewed. Now this gentleman is know for placing people in positions at the areas country clubs. He has been with the same place for 28 years and from what I gather is like the godfather of all of the B'ham GM's.

Lee and he finally spoke on Friday and it was right before he went into the weekly lunch meeting. He was very nice to Lee and seemed very positive that Lee would be able to find a position with the help of Mr. Carr. So today Lee called him just to follow up. It just so happens that there was an opening as of this morning for an assistant GM of one of the clubs (the AGM is pretty much the food and beverage director) and he had already sent over Lee's resume and called the guy on Lee's behalf.

My dad happens to be on the board of trustees at Samford with Mr. Belcher and when he saw him today Mr. Belcher told him that Mr. Carr really wants to meet with Lee in person. Lee called Mr. Carr and told him something came up and he is going to be in B'ham next Friday and Saturday to see my family. Mr. Carr said he was really excited and hopes to have at least 4 interviews set up for Lee. He also wants to show Lee around the clubs with Mr. Belcher.

I feel as if these men are angels sent from heaven. I can't believe that anyone would go so far out of their way for people that they do not even know personally. Not only do we need to move for the sake of my sanity and family but also financially we need this. I have never wanted something so much before. Not only that but I truly believe that our family needs this from a spiritual angle. Our family is not firmly planted in God and we need this more than anything. Our family needs a strong Godly man as it's head. I truly believe if we move then this will help lead the way to this.

Please pray for us that all of this works out for the best. I know God has a hand in this. I can feel it. Please pray that his will is done (and secretly hope that it's for us to move to Birmingham).

Megyn Kelly from Fox News vs. Editor of US Weekly

I talked in my last post about the interview between Megyn Kelly (and I am so sorry I mispelled her name the first time) and Bradley ?? of US Weekly. Please watch this video. Megyn Kelly is amazing and rips apart the editor and exposes the article as pretty much left winged bias.

Sadly this is my favorite guilty pleasure magazine that I just happened to purchase yesterday at the grocery store before their new cover story made headlines. I will no longer be buying their magazines any more.

Sick Sick Sick Liberals

I am absolutely sick and tired of the negative attacks on Sarah Palin. The liberal media is just disgusting. John Edwards had an affair and possibly fathered a child from this affair. What does the liberal media do? They don't investigate or report on this. It's as if they are shielding him from any negative publicity.

Sarah Palin is now running for Vice President. Yes, her daughter who is 17 years old is pregnant and not married. My first reaction was saddness because I know how hard it will be for her being pregnant so young. My second reaction what that this made Sarah Palin more real. Her family isn't immune to family challenges and she is like the rest of us. So many politians seem to be above the rest of us and invincible.

What is not right is that Palin is being attacked because of her daughter's pregnancy. Her daughter is also being attacked. This is not fair. Family is suppose to be off limits. Especially a 17 year old who is not running for public office. Barak asked the media to lay off of this story and that family is off limits. Ummm... okay. It was useless and just for show. He knows good and well that the liberal bloggers and media aren't going to leave it alone.

Now the liberal bloggers are buzzing that her baby born in April isn't really her's but her daughters. First of all her daughter is 5 months pregnant. Right around the same time I am now. Depending on her due date she was either just finding out she was pregnant in April or getting pregnant. That makes it impossible to be her baby. Besides that it is abhorrent for anyone to question the babies maternity. Even if it was true it was a family decision and no one's business.

Now Palin's husband was arrested for a DUI in 1986. He was 22 years old. This has gotten so much media coverage about how horrible this was, etc. Not one time has anyone in the liberal media mentioned that at this same time Barak Obama was admittedly doing cocaine. Hmm... The media is so slanted in it's coverage it is just disgusting.

Now US Weekly has come out with a cover story titled "Babies, Lies and Scandals". I just wanted Meghan Kelley on Fox News interview the editor of the magazine regarding the story. I have to say she pretty much ripped him a new hole. He tried to say that the article was fair and balanced but that they didn't have the time or room to report everything. Such as they state her husband had a DUI but didn't bother to mention it was 22 years ago. The editor said they would have put it in there but ran out of room. She asked what the lies were that she told and they weren't ones she told as the cover suggests but they were ones the politcal bloggers were saying.

And get this. A group of liberal protestors had a plan in place to kidnap Republican delegates at the convention. They had a website and a place for volunteers to sign up to help bail people out of jail if need be, etc. Yes, gotta love the liberals. They are so classy and I guess think they are above the law. Well they just happened to have two people in their group squeal on them and one undercover officer. Over 300 people have been arrested so far for their involvment.

I do not know how anyone can support the democratic or liberal party. I am so thankful that I was raised by two parents that instilled good moral values in me. I am so glad that my parents are strong Christians that's faith is firmly grounded. I am so thankful that God put me into this family. If I wasn't raised like this I don't know how I could live with myself being a liberal.

God Bless America!