Wednesday Nights Fall Festival

Last night we went to the Fall Festival at Village Baptist Church. The kids had a blast and Mackenzie ended up spending most of the time with a friend from school until we "found" our neighbors who were there. This is the first year that Jackson has picked out a costume and he was so excited. He heard a kid say "look Dad it's Batman" about his costume and Jackson says to me "the kids said my name, he knows my name". So he was in full Batman mode last night.

Mackenzie was adorable dressed in her poodle skirt. She enjoyed it a lot and loved twirling around in the skirt. Her only complaint of the night was that Jackson got more candy than her. Oh and Lee had a good time too. His favorite thing at these events is the cake walk. Seriously. Well this year it was a much smaller walk so you had to keep getting in line to play. He went probably 5 or so times earlier in the evening and left empty handed. Then later when it was almost over he went back with Mackenize and they played it even more times until she finally won. He felt victorious. So now we have the hard earned cookies on our counter. Oh yeah as a side note a few years back, I think it was before Jackson was born he played the cake walk at Cinco Baptist Church's fall festival. He finally won the next to last cake they had left. The ladies were so excited to give it to him because it was this HUGE cake. We leave the festival and get in the car and find that the cake had an expiration date of 4 days prior. It must've been donated by a local bakery or something. He was so disappointed.

We had a blast and enjoyed it all very much. The best news of all is that only my left ankle had any swelling from standing up and it was just around the ankle bone and not all the way up my leg! Friday night I think we are heading to Baytowne Wharf at the Sandestin Resort to go Trick or Treating at their stores. Then at 8pm they have fireworks. Not that the kids need more candy but they enjoy dressing up.

Scary Obama Supporters Buy into His Rhetoric

Here is the text of an email I sent to my dad about this video I found. It's scary. Yes, scary. You... yes you who are reading my blog be prepared. Because if Obama is elected President then you will be paying your hard earned money to pay for this ladies gas and mortgage payment. And when your taxes do go up, and they will, I promise you, and the hard years of work you've put in seem like they weren't even worth it, well you're going to end up spreading the wealth.

Depending on how things turn out I may just take a cue from this lady and let YOU end up paying to bail me out. Quit work and turn to the great welfare and the spreading the wealth.


Dad,

I can't believe this video I just found online. It is from the Orlando market. This lady took her kids to the rally Wednesday night. She's in the last 30 seconds of the video so you're going to have to fast forward it but this is what she says about Barack. It's so scary!

She says: "It was the most touching moment of my life! I never thought this day would ever happen! I won't have to work to put gas in my car! I won't have to worry about paying my mortgage! You know, if I help HIM, he's going to help us!"

I don't know how to edit the video so people don't have to fast fwd it. This is the lie that people have bought in to. Of course no major news outlet has picked up this story. I wish the McCain camp could do something with it.

Video link http://video.nbc6.net/player/?id=797441

Rebekah

Dear Barack

To Barack Hussein Obama,

The New York Times carried a story on Saturday, October 4, 2008 that provedyou had a significantly closer relationship with Bill Ayers than what youpreviously admitted. While the issue of your relationship is of concern,the greater concern is that you lied to America about it.

The Chicago Sun reported on May 8, 2008 that FBI records showed that you hada significantly closer relationship with Tony Rezko than what you previouslyadmitted. In the interview, you said that you only saw Mr.Rezko a couple of times a year. The FBI files showed that you saw himweekly While the issue of your relationship is of concern, the greaterconcern is that you lied to America about it.


Your speech in Philadelphia on March 18, 2008 about "race" contradicted yourstatement to Anderson Cooper on March 14 when you said that you never heardReverend Wright make his negative statements about white America.While your attendance at Trinity Church for 20 years is of concern, thegreater concern is that you lied to America on March 14.

In your 1st debate with John McCain, you said that you never said that youwould meet with the leaders of Cuba, Venezuela, Iran, and North Koreawithout "preparations" at lower levels ... Joe Biden repeated your words inhis debate with Sarah Palin .. while the video tape from your debate lastFebruary clearly shows that you answered "I would" to the question ofmeeting with those leaders within 12 months without "any" preconditions.While your judgement about meeting with enemies of the USA withoutpre-conditions is of concern, the greater concern is that you lied toAmerica in the debate with McCain.

On July 14, 2008, you said that you always knew that the surge would workwhile the video tapes of you from more than a year ago show that you statedthat the surge would not work. While your judgement about militarystrategy as a potential commander in chief is of concern, the greaterconcern is that you lied to America on July 14.

You now claim that your reason for voting against funding for the troops wasbecause the bill did not include a time line for withdrawal while the videotapes of you from more than a year ago show that you voted againstadditional funding because you wanted our troops to be removed immediately... not in 16 months after the 2008 election as you now claim. While yourjudgement about removing our troops unilaterally in 2007 is of concern, thegreater concern is that you lied to America about your previous position.

You claim to have a record of working with Republicans while the recordshows that the only bill that you sponsored with a Republican was with ChuckLugar ... and it failed. The record shows that you vote 97% in concert withthe Democrat party and that you have the most liberal voting record in theSenate. You joined Republicans only 13% of the time in your votes and those13% were only after agreement from the Democrat party.While it is of concern that you fail to include conservatives in youractions and that you are such a liberal, the greater concern is that youdistorted the truth.

In the primary debates of last February, 2008, you claimed to have talkedwith a "Captain" of a platoon in Afghanistan "the other day" when in factyou had a discussion in 2003 with a Lieutenant who had just been deployed toAfghanistan. You lied in that debate.

In your debates last spring, you claimed to have been a "professor ofConstitutional law" when in fact you have never been a professor ofConstitutional law. In this last debate, you were careful to say that you"taught a law class" and never mentioned being a "professor ofConstitutional law." You lied last spring.

You and Joe Biden both claimed that John McCain voted against additionalfunding for our troops when the actual records show the opposite. Youdistorted the truth. You and Joe Biden claim that John McCain voted againstfunding for alternate energy sources 20 times when the record shows thatJohn McCain specifically voted against funding for bio fuels, especiallycorn ... and he was right .... corn is too expensive at producing ethanol, and using corn to make ethanol increased the price of corn from$2 a bushel to $6 a bushel for food. You distorted the truth.

You and Joe Biden claim that John McCain voted like both of you for a taxincrease on those making as little as $42,000 per year while the votingrecord clearly shows that John McCain did not vote as you and Joe Biden.You lied to America.

You and Joe Biden claim that John McCain voted with George W. Bush 90% ofthe time when you know that Democrats also vote 90% of the time with thePresident (including Joe Biden) because the vast majority of the votes areprocedural. You are one of the few who has not voted 90% of the time withthe president because you have been missing from the Senate since the dayyou got elected. While your absence from your job in the Senate is ofconcern, the greater concern is that you spin the facts.

You did not take an active roll in the rescue plan. You claimed that theSenate did not need you while the real reason that you abstained was becauseof your close relationships with the executives of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac,Countrywide, and Acorn .. who all helped cause the financial problems oftoday ... and they all made major contributions to your campaign. Whileyour relationship with these executives and your protection of them for yourbrief 3 years in the Senate (along with Barney Frank, Chuch Schumer, MaxineWaters, and Chris Dodd) is of concern, the greater concern is that you arebeing deceitful.

You forgot to mention that you personally represented Tony Rezko and Acorn. Tony Rezko, an Arab and close friend to you, was convicted of fraud inChicago real estate transactions that bilked millions of tax dollars fromthe Illinois government for renovation projects that you sponsored as astate senator ... and Acorn has been convicted of voter fraud, real estatesub prime loan intimidation, and illegal campaign contributions.Tony Rezko has contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars to yourpolitical campaigns. You personally used your political positions to steermoney to both Tony Rezko and Acorn and you used Acorn to register thousandsof phony voters for Democrats and you. While your relationships with Rezkoand Acorn are of concern, the greater concern is that you omitted importantfacts about your relationships with them to America.

During your campaign, you said: "typical white person." "they cling totheir guns and religion." "they will say that I am black." You played therace card. You tried to label any criticism about you as racist. Youdivide America.

You claim that you will reduce taxes for 95% of America, but you forgot totell America that those reductions are after you remove the Bush taxreductions. You have requested close to $1 Billion in earmarks and severalmillion for Acorn. Your social programs will cost America $1 Trillion peryear and you claim that a reduction in military spending ($100 billion forIraq) can pay for it.


While your economic plan of adding 30% to the size of our federal governmentis of concern, the greater concern is that you are deceiving America. Thedrain to America's economy by foreign supplied oil is $700 Billion per year(5% of GDP) while the war in Iraq is $100 Billion (less than 1% of GDP). You voted against any increases to oil exploration for the last 3 years andany expansion of nuclear facilities. Yet today, you say that you havealways been for more oil and more nuclear. You are lying to America.

Mr. Obama, you claimed that you "changed" your mind about public financingfor your campaign because of the money spent by Republican PACs in 2004.The truth is that the Democrat PACs in 2004, 2006, and 2008 spent twice asmuch as the Republican PACs (especially George Soros and MoveOn.org).You are lying to America.

Mr. Obama, you have done nothing to stop the actions of the teachers unionand college professors in the USA. They eliminated religion from ourhistory. They teach pro gay agendas and discuss sex with students as youngas first grade. They bring their personal politics into the classrooms.They disparage conservatives. They brainwash our children. They are in itfor themselves ..... not America. Are you reluctant to condemn theiractions because teachers/professors and the NEA contribute 25% of all moneydonated to Democrats and none to Republicans? You are deceiving America.

Oh Mr. Obama, Teddy Roosevelt said about a hundred years ago that weAmericans should first look at the character of our leaders before anythingelse. Your character looks horrible. While you make good speeches,motivating speeches, your character does not match your rhetoric. You talkthe talk but do not walk the walk.

1. You lied to America. You lied many times. You distorted facts. Youparsed your answers like a lawyer.

2. You distorted the record of John McCain in your words and in youradvertisements.

3. You had associations with some very bad people for your personalpolitical gains and then lied about those associations.

4. You divide America about race and about class.


Now let me compare your record of lies, distortions, race bating, andassociations to John McCain: War hero. Annapolis graduate with "Countryfirst." Operational leadership experience like all 43 previously electedpresidents of the USA as a Navy Officer for 22 years. 26 years in theSenate. Straight talk. Maverick. 54% of the time participated on billswith Democrats. Never asked for an earmark. The only blemish on his recordis his part in the Keating 5 debacle about 25 years ago.

Mr. Obama, at Harvard Law School, you learned that the end does not justifythe means. You learned that perjury, false witness, dishonesty, distortionof truth are never tolerated. Yet, your dishonesty is overwhelming. Yourdishonesty is tremendously greater than the dishonesty that caused theimpeachment and disbarment of Bill Clinton. Your dishonesty is tremendouslygreater than the dishonesty of Scooter Libby. You should be ashamed.

Mr. Obama, it is time for us Americans to put aside our differences onpolitical issues and vote against you because of your dishonest character. It is time for all of us Americans to put aside our political issues andvote for America first. It is time for America to vote for honesty.

Any people who vote for you after understanding that you are dishonestshould be ashamed of themselves for making their personal political issuesmore important than character. Would these same people vote for theanti-Christ if the anti-Christ promised them riches? Would they make agolden calf while Moses was up the mountain? Would they hire someone for ajob if that someone lied in an interview? .... of course not. So why dosome of these people justify their votes for you even though they know youare dishonest? Why do they excuse your dishonesty? Because some of thesepeople are frightened about the future, the economy, and their financialsecurity .... and you are preying on their fears with empty promises ...and because some (especially our young people) are consumed by yourwonderful style and promises for "change" like the Germans who voted forAdolf Hitler in 1932. The greed/envy by Germans in 1932 kept them fromrecognizing Hitler for who he was. They loved his style. Greed and envyare keeping many Americans from recognizing you ... your style hascamouflaged your dishonesty .... but many of us see you for who you reallyare .. and we will not stop exposing who you are every day, forever if itis necessary.

Mr. Obama, you are dishonest. Anyone who votes for you is enablingdishonesty.

Mr. Obama, America cannot trust that you will put America first in yourdecisions about the future.

Mr. Obama, you are not the "change" that America deserves. We cannot trustyou.

Mr. Obama, You are not ready and not fit to be commander in chief.

Mr. Obama, John McCain does not have as much money as your campaign torefute all of your false statements. And for whatever reasons, themainstream media will not give adequate coverage or research about yourlies, distortions, word parsing, bad associations, race bating, lack ofoperational leadership experience, and general dishonest character. Themedia is diverting our attention to your relationships and ignoring the factthat you lied about those relationships. The fact that you lied is muchmore important than the relationships themselves ... just like with BillClinton and Richard Nixon ... Monica Lewinski and Watergate were not nearlyas bad as the fact that those gentlemen lied about the events ...false witness ... perjury .. your relationships and bad judgements are badon their own .... but your lies are even worse.

Therefore, by copy of this memo, all who read this memo are asked to send itto everyone else in America before it is too late. We need to do the jobthat the media will not do. We need to expose your dishonesty so that everyperson in America understands who you really are before election day.

Mr. Obama, in a democracy, we get what we deserve. And God help America ifwe deserve you.

Author was in Virginia.

Fatman!!!!

Today was Lee's first day of vacation. First of all I slept better last night than I have in many weeks if not months. I took my 2 Tylenol PM but I think b/c I hardly had anything to drink before bedtime it helped me not get up a dozen times. I got up only 5 times through out the night which is good for me. I got Mackenzie up and ready and Lee took her to school for me. He had his weekly individual therapy session and left for that. By the time he got back home it was nearing time to pick up Mackenzie within the hour.

I had taken a shower and gotten ready, I mean even to the point of putting on makeup for the first time in forever and a year. I had every intention to go to Kmart for their 50% off costume sale to find Jackson his Batman costume. I also had some $7x.xx in gift cards I had found from last year. We needed paper towels and toliet paper. My trip just never materialized. I was too tired from getting ready. I laid down and ended up taking a nap. Lee and Jackson left to go get Mackenzie.

I woke up around 3:30 and eventually we all left as a family for Kmart. Now that was an exhausting adventure. I picked up the last 2 things for her costume, the $3.49 imitation Keds and a white shirt to go w/ the poodle skirt. We found the coveted Batman costume which by all means was the most important. We got some other odds and ends and had a pretty good time together. We got home around 7pm and I have to say I am exhausted!

First thing after getting home Jackson had to put on his Batman costume. I was hesitant that it wouldn't fit good enough but it fit like a glove. I guess he is just taller than I imagine because it wasn't too long at all. The cape and mask fit perfectly as does the belt. He is so darn cute in it and running through the house saying "Fatman saves the day!". I told him he has to say Batman or else he wouldn't be able to wear it tomorrow night. It is cute but at the same time I don't want him saying Fatman.

Mackenzie is taking a shower now and when she gets out we'll be looking at her complete costume. I can't believe that #1 we survived Lee's first day off without killing each other and #2 that we got the costumes completed the day before the Fall Festival which is a record for us. The past few years it's been completed the day of Halloween.

I talked to Brad earlier today. I hadn't talked to him in the past 2 weeks. I have to say that I am very thankful to him for the gifts he sent for Avery. He purchased everything I had listed that I needed. Now my list was comprised of little things, like pacifier, diaper pail, burp cloths, gowns, etc. There were so many things in the packages that came. It was soooooo nice and greatly appreciated. All of those things add up.

So we have the stroller/carseat, bathtub (which Jackson has shown to everyone who has come in our house, seriously), bassinet, papasan chair, swingy thingy and hmmm... clothes. She won't need clothes for quite some time. I know I'm going to end up needing to buy more bottles and pacifiers but that can wait just a bit. Especially on the pacies. I want to just make sure that she likes the ones I've gotten. Both the others used them so I figure she will too. Besides Mam pacies are so darn cute.

I am so excited that the countdown has begun to her arrival. I hope that 4 weeks from today we will have a new arrival. Jackson asked me if my stomach will get smaller when Avery comes I. I told him I sure hope so. He is so sweet to my tummy. He talks to her every day. He will rub my tummy for a long time and tell Avery that he loves her so much. I just hope that it continues once she is on the outside. Well I'm off to get everyone ready for bed, including myself!

Non Stop

I have been going non-stop since I got up this morning. I don't think this is what anyone had in mind for me, especially my mother. I think she is the most concerned out of everyone for me. It's very sweet but I almost wanted to hide from her that I took Mackenzie to school today (in the end I didn't).

I got up this morning and threw on some clothes and took Mackenzie to school. It was very chilly this morning, I think it was 60 but with winds around 15mph. Yuck weather. After I drop her off Jackson was hungry so I ran over to Whataburger and we got some breakfast. We shared a meal and grits. I have to say their grits weren't half bad. By the time we got home it was time for me to get ready to go to the hospital for my testing. I run out the door and get there right before 10. If I had only known I'd be there for what seemed all day long.

They hook me up to hear Avery's heartbeat and the BP cuff. I am on that thing for what feels forever but is only an hour but Avery is not being responsive enough for their likeing. They needed her heart rate to be reactive appx. 10 beats for at least 10 seconds and then go back to normal. This shows them that she's moving around and responding to changes in my tummy. I drank a total of 4 cranberry juices and ate graham crackers that I can't stand to get a reaction. Still nothing. So Dr. Petrac (yes, the same one who I'm ready to stop seeing but the one who ordered the testing and since Dr. Lile's office hadn't set me up yet she was over everything) ordered a Biophysical Profile (a type of u/s) and a complete u/s.

In the interim Lee had to go to work so he brings Jackson up to the hospital room while I'm hooked up to the machines and waiting for the u/s techs to come visit me. He was with me from appx. 11:30 until right before 2. I have to say he was so very good. I was so surprised at how well behaved he was. I'm sure it helped that I had Nick Jr. on the TV but he was a real trooper. Finally the u/s techs come in and Avery scores an 8/8 on the BPP. As soon as they touched my belly with the u/s thingy she started moving all around. She had no problem being reactive. There was plenty of fluid and her tone was very good. I passed that with flying colors.

The complete u/s was good too. They still saw the hole in the heart but they didn't see much of anything else. They couldn't do some of the measurements for her head and neck because her head is already engaged and in position to be born. Her face is still towards my spine. They couldn't get a profile picture of her little face. She's getting bigger and there is less and less room for her. They did find that she now weighs appx. 3lbs 7oz. That's up from the 2lb 14oz from last Tuesday. They gain appx. 1/2 to 1lb per week from now until the end. I had just said to mom before the u/s that I was worried b/c per the guideline she should weigh appx. 3lbs 12ozs as of now. Well we're doing very well right now.

I couldn't be more pleased with the outcome of all of the testing today. My protein was a +1 so not the end of the world. I should find out my 24hr protein test results tomorrow. My kidney and liver functions are just fine. So I am very glad to have some good news for now.

We got out of there just in time to pick up some lunch and pick up Mackenzie from school. After we picked up Mackenzie I had to take her back to the hospital to see the orthopedic Dr. for her arm. I'm telling you I'm so tired of seeing Dr.'s and going to the hospital. We go in and they had quite a hard time removing her cast. Apparently the way the ER Dr. cut into it wasn't the way they were suppose to. That would explain why they had a hard time trying to open it up and remove the marker cap. They had to recut the cast. Her x-ray showed the healing spot. She has to wear her arm in a sling until Monday. She is still sore on her elbow area. If it is still sore next week then she has to come back. Otherwise we are free from the orthopedic Dr.

I am hoping that we are done for good with the elbow. I am hoping that if all goes as Dr. Petrac had planned but w/ Dr. Lile that I will be admitted to the hospital 4 weeks from today to be induced. That will be November 24th. I've gone in on a Monday with both Mackenzie and Jackson. They were both born on Tuesday. Mackenzie at 1:08pm and Jackson at 2:31pm. So based on my previous deliveries that started on a Monday little Miss Avery will be born on the Tuesday, November 25th. That just so happens to be my mom's birthday. How much crazier can the holidays and birthdays be? So she'll be stuck w/ a Thanksgiving time birthday and sharing a birthday with her grandmama while Jackson shares his birthday with Lee and Christmas. I guess Kenzie and I lucked out in the family. :-)

So tomorrow starts Lee's vacation. The only things I can think of we have to do this week is on Tuesday is his therapy session, Wednesday is our joint session and Thursday I have a Dr.'s appt. Now if he can find the time for the garage as planned. Ahhh... it better all work out.

When Is Enough Enough?

I'm beginning to wonder when my life will say enough is enough and things will calm down? Seriously. I can't sleep at night. I know that this far along that I shouldn't expect to sleep peacefully but I'm hardly able to sleep at all. I've been taking Tylenol PM to help with it. Last night instead of taking just 1 I took 2. I still woke up every hour. For some reason I can sleep for a whole two hours or so once 5 rolls around. This morning Jackson woke up a little before 7. Yes, it was dreadful. To make matters worse I just felt awful. I had the throbbing headache and just felt bad. I got up and took my meds first thing as usual.

Around 9:30 I was still feeling badly. I had been lying in bed the entire time except to take my meds, pee and get Jackson milk. I took my BP and it was 160/103. Now I know BP isn't just based on strenuous activity but you would think that with the lack of movement it'd be down. I continued to take it through the morning and it declined slightly but not a major difference. It's past 7pm and I'm still feeling awful and it's up and that's w/ taking my other 2 doses so far today.

So this afternoon Jackson comes and lies down with me in my bed. I was exhausted and would have loved to take a nap. We were watching Little Bill and before I knew it he had fallen asleep. I dozed off for about 20 mins. Then I had Mackenzie come in and tell me that she had a problem. She used her cast as a holding place for the top to a marker. Well.... it got pushed down in her cast and she couldn't get it out. There it was. My nap as I knew it was over for good. I try everything to get it out. It was absolutely impossible. I tried off and on for 2 hours. I didn't know what else to do but to take her to the ER for them to get it out. No, it wasn't an emergency but the cap was hurting her because it was already so tight in there to begin with.

After consulting with my mom and Lee we were off to the ER. I felt stupid going in there but it had to be done. We were in and out of there in 30 mins. They couldn't even get it out with their little tools so out came the cast saw. They sawed it in half reached in and got the cap out. They then wrapped it tightly with ace bandages. Tomorrow I get the pleasure of calling the orthopedic Dr. and taking her in to see him. She is suppose to get it off on Friday so I guess we'll see if they put another one on her or let her keep it off.

This is where I'm just wondering when my life can stop being so complicated. I feel as if every time I turn around I have something new happening. I just want a break. First of all I wish I didn't have to ever see the inside of a hostpital again. Now we all know that's not possible. I have to be at Sacred Heart in the morning at 10 for my NST (non-stress test) and lab work. I'm sure as it's been Avery will be just fine. I just honestly don't want to end up on another stretcher headed to Pensacola.

So this has been my Sunday. I'm tired and still have this headache. Will tomorrow prove to be better? Let's hope it is.

Moving Back Home and Fixing the Hair

Yesterday we came back home. I have to say it feels nice to be back in my own home. It was rainy all day yesterday. Lee was at the house trying to get it ready for us to come home. I have to admit he did a pretty good job considering how bad he let it get. There are a lot of things I would like done still and things I need to do here and there but overall he gets a big kudos. I feel as if I've come out of my little funk just from being home. I know the hospital stay brought me down and the reduction of Adderall but it's easier doing this at home.

I took a shower in the afternoon yesterday and after drying my hair and straightening it and it still looking like the most awful thing in the world I decided I was going to march up to the hair salon and tell that lady what an awful job she did and that I wanted my money back. I got the kids ready and me ready to go. I had called mom and told her what I was doing. Lee happened to call and check on me and when I told him I was leaving to go to the salon he intervened. He didn't want me getting all worked up over this and getting my BP up so he said he'd call them for me and set me up an appointment w/ the girl who I use to use to do my hair. I finally listened to him and say back down while he made some phone calls.

He called and spoke to the manager of the location I usually use. Gina was out yesterday but she was going to be in today at 9. She was booked all day but they bumped an appointment so I could get in. I was a little apprehensive about going today because I felt bad that she had to bump someone for me and I didn't know exactly how Lee's conversation had gone. In the end it was all good. He was very nice to them. Leslie the manager was off yesterday but he had spoken to the assistant manager Trisha and they both were in when I got there today. Leslie knows me well and when they saw my hair they saw how it had been butchered. It was as if I had 3 different haircuts in one. And I had the mullet going on. Seriously. Leslie asked me who had cut my hair and before I got her name out of my mouth she started saying how she knew it was her. Apparently she's been known for bad cuts and not listening. She was transferred to that salon because of it. Yeah, how nice for me. Wish she would be fired.

Anyhoo Gina did the best she could to my hair. My hair looks sooooooo much better than I could've imagined. It's not how I would like it but it's the best she could do. I tipped her very nicely since she was doing it for free. She didn't want to take the tip but I laid it down. I was just so appreciative to how nice they were to me. I told her I learned my lesson about just going to anyone. I thought a quick trim would be what I needed and instead it caused me so much saddness. :-)

Mackenzie has been playing since about one today. Her best friend came home and asked her to play. It made her day! I am so glad that they were home today. I know she has missed them so much. Jackson went running after her when she left though. She was so excited to be leaving that she didn't turn back to hug him and he was yelling "I love you Kenzie!" at the top of his lungs over and over again. It was so darn cute! I called Maria (Stella and Emily's mom) to ask her to tell Mackenzie not to try riding the rib stick because of her arm in the cast. Then Jackson was dying to talk to Mackenzie. So he talked to her and told her that he missed her so much. I wish they were always like that with each other. So much of their time lately has been spent fighting. I'm sure it's been stuck in the house at Jana's without their friends and all their toys, etc.

Wow, I'm watching the Georgia/LSU game and the GA dude just dropped the ball at the kickoff and now they're on the 10. It's definitely bringing the life back into the LSU crowd. Wow... huge pass! From the 10 for a gain of 48 yards. I can't believe it. Now it's just sucked the life back out of the crowd. Now a blitz and a good sack. Okay, enough play by play.

The kids and I are having a movie night tonight. I'll cook some mac 'n cheese and chicken and then sit down for a movie. Mackenzie keeps calling it a girls night but I can't have Jackson thinking he's a girl. So it's just family movie night. Enough rambling. And hopefully y'all have heard enough about my stupid hair.

Rainy Weather

This whole sitting in the house with my feet up is driving me batty. It doesn't help it that it's been raining almost non-stop since yesterday. We woke up this morning and it's still pouring down rain. It almost creates a depressive type feeling. Or one that there is no room for motivation. I guess it's driving me nuts knowing I'm not suppose to do a darn thing. That goes against everything in me.

The kids and I are moving back home tomorrow. I don't know if it will be forever or for a few nights. There is a man coming to stay at Jana's house on Sunday night and we needed to leave for the night. I have to admit I'm ready to be back in my own house, but I am very hesitant about going back home. I do not know how things are going to be with Lee. We talked about it in therapy on Wednesday and I think it should all be fine but it's hard to leap back into things. I know that he done a 180 with the things that needed to be put down. The good thing is if we need to leave again we always can.

I know he is trying very hard to get past his depression and he's stopped the drinking and the excess medication. I know that his individual therapy and our joint therapy is doing him some good. When we see him it's seeing him with clear eyes. No meds making him cloudy and distant. He's off work right now cleaning the house to get it ready for us. Apparently he absolutely destroyed the house further while we were gone. I'm not looking forward to going home to a dirty house. He and I both know that so he's working hard. I guess I'm frustrated because so many things I've wanted done or help with for months now he's only now getting around to. He was so out of things and reality that he couldn't think straight or get it.

I havebeen telling him for 3 months now that more than likely I would be on bed rest and have problems with this pregnancy too. I kept counting down to when I thought it might occur. I told him we needed to have certain things done and prepared for by then. Major thing being our garage and things being boxed up and all organized. I need major organization in my life right now. He's on vacation next week and promises that everything I wanted done will be done. All I can say is it better be.

Wow, that last statement made me sound like a cold mean person. I'm not, I've put up with so much or the lack of so much from him for so long now that things have to change now or never. I'm off to take a shower and cry some more about my horrible haircut. Oh and I've got to call Dr. Lile's office. Yeah, my Dr. still hasn't faxed my records over yet. I'm not having a good day.

Mt Laurel Fall Festival Pictures

So my parents had the kids this past weekend during my hospital adventure. They took the kids to the fall festival at Mt Laurel. Dad took some pictures of the kids and I'm posting them for all to see. I have to say I think they are adorable! Y'all can also see Mackenzie's bright pink cast. Wait... I can't even remember if I've detailed that adventure. Seriously the past 3 weeks have been one up and down after another. Okay, mostly down but that's okay.

I Hate Dr.'s and Hairstylists

I'm so frustrated right now. More than frustrated actually. I guess I should update from the last time I wrote something, which was Monday night and I just posted it today, shame on me. I haven't gotten on the computer though until now. I just haven't wanted to get online at all. I think it's my reduction in Adderall that is making things that way. It's hard to stay focused. Very hard.

So Tuesday mom and Jackson went with me to see the Perinatologist, Dr. Thorpe. He is the high risk Dr. who saw me in P'cola and who I had seen before. First of all Avery looked great. She still has the hole in her heart, I believe they said it's 5mm and to be honest I can't get a straight answer from anyone about the severity of it or lack thereof. He just keeps telling me it'll all be okay. That is really irritating. Her hearbeat is strong though and she weighs 2lbs 14oz. So if she was born she'd survive and be okay but she'd be in the hospital for a while. Luckily she's still in my belly baking.

I love his u/s tech. She's super sweet and does a great job. Now when Dr. Thorpe came in he had the lady's chart who he saw before me in his hand. He had my meds wrong, gestational age and the fact that I failed a 3 hour glucose test all wrong. I only realized it was a difference chart and that ladies because she and I were talking in the waiting room and she had mentioned these things to me. The resident he was working with handed him my chart finally. He just kept reassuring me that everything is going to be okay but I didn't feel as if there was any real answers question.

My mom was sitting there dying to ask him questions but didn't know if it was okay with me. You see I was semi out of it. Something about the hospital visit made me very tired and I've not been myself. I think a big part is not taking my Addy like I use to. I wish she had spoken up because I don't want just someone patting my arm and legs and saying it'll be fine. I want someone to say okay there is this hole still there. Now with it being this big at this point either x, y or z will happen when she's born if it's the same size. Now either a or b will happen if it closes up some, etc. You can't just sit and tell a pregnant patient it's all going to be okay.

So we leave the appointment with my next appt to see him on November 18th. I honestly don't feel like seeing him any more. I don't know the point. He's not going to deliver Avery any way. To make things more confusing I was given discharge papers telling me to make an appointment to follow up with the Seton Center Ob's at Sacred Heart in P'cola. I don't want to see them. I don't want those Dr.'s to deliver my baby. I want Dr. Lile from Sacred Heart in P'cola to do so, not the group of attendings and residents. I have insurance and I'm not just off the street.

So yesterday (Wednesday) I called Dr. Lile's office to talk to them about transfering over to him. He's the Dr. that delivered my precious Jackson and I LOVED him sooooo much!!!!! I want to have my baby in Pensacola. I feel more comfortable with the facilities there. The one where we live won't deliver you before 36 weeks because they are not equipped to do so. They don't even have a round the clock nursery for your baby.

So I called Dr. Lile's office and had to sign a release of medical info for Dr. Petrac's office to send my records to him. Now let me tell you it took an act of congress to get this all straight. Finally I go to Dr. Petrac's office to fill out the form and get them to send my records to him. Now I think it's stupid to do this because they are both apart of Sacred Heart Medical Group just in difference offices. Oh well.

Apparently me wanting to change Dr.'s hit a nerve w/ the Dr. here. Pam, the nurse saw me in the waiting room and told me she needed to see me. They were wondering when I was coming back in to be seen. I told her that I was told to see the Seton Center Dr. and I was wanting to just go ahead and transfer to Dr. Lile. She tells me she wants to see me and so does the Dr.

So I go back and they monitor me on the NST machine and check my BP. Dr. came in and said she had not problem sending my files to Dr. Lile but she saw no reason why she couldn't put me on the schedule to be induced until I was 36 weeks which is Novmber 24th. Then her and Pam look at the date say something about that date already being booked and I may end up going to Pensacola in Sacred Heart anyway. Now if that's the case then why in the world would I not just want to go ahead and be set with Dr. Lile in Pensacola?

I feel as if they were just trying to pacify me. They set me up for the NST testing and labs twice a week. I know it wasn't just for me to feel better that it's something I need but I just don't want to stay seeing the local Dr.'s here.

So I leave yesterday afternoon being assured that they will still send everything to Dr. Lile's office for me. I can't get an appointment with him until they send them over. So this morning I get a phone call at 8:30 from Pam saying she has my NST appts set up as the local hospital for Monday mornings at 10. Then she says that they're going to hold off sending my records to him because if they send them over and if he accepts me as a patient then it's confusing. I tried to tell her I still want her to send them over just in case. I just couldn't fight with her. Not really fight but it was hard for me to be firm and say look I want Dr. Lile. Period. End of statement. She said she didn't think I'd have to deliver in P'cola but honestly it's not just because I HAVE to but I WANT to. And if there's any chance of me being sent there to deliver then I want to have Dr. Lile deliver me and not one of the Seton Center Dr.'s.

I tell mom what she said and mom said she'd call her and tell her to fax everything to him and that's my final decision. I'm to scared to call her and be firm. I finally get Lee to call her and tell them that I want Dr. Lile it's not because of hard feelings but I'd feel better over there. She again told him that they don't think I'll have to deliver there and he asked her then why did I spend 3 days over there? She said as a precaution. Then for him and me it's a precaution to go ahead and set up w/ a Dr. over there. I feel horrible because I feel as if I made them mad. But it's my body and my baby.

So now I'm just waiting to call Dr. Lile's office this afternoon and make sure they got my records and that they will set me up an appointment. This is all so exhausting. I feel as if I pissed off a lot of people when it's not my intention.

Wow that was a lot of typing and it felt better to get it off my chest. Not that everyone or anyone who reads this blog wanted or cared to hear all of this. Now off to the hairstylist.

So while waiting to fill out those stupid HIPPA papers to transfer my files mom took me to get my hair trimmed. I told the lady I wanted it trimmed and thinned out. That's it. Oh and I still want it to fit into a pony tail. She didn't listen to me at all. I've seriously cried about this. Hard tears too. My hair looks like a bad mullet in the back. She didn't thin it out but cut the layers up top so short that they feel so thick. It's not sleek like it was before. It's got pieces of layers all out of the sides. I tried straightening it this morning so see if it'd stay and it won't. I'm sick over it. Seriously utterly positively sick.

Mom tried to take me to get it fixed somewhat this morning but I declined. Oh, by the way she left this morning. So Lee is going to take me to get it fixed in the next few days. It's so bad I told him I'm not leaving Jana's house. I hate it. Words cannot describe it. My hair had looked so great before. Okay, it needed a trim and a thin out but it's been doing so well. Now I'm butchered. Lee said it'll grow out by the time Avery is born. Four weeks max is not a lot of time. I'm seriously upset about this. I hate it. I had a bad haircut right before Jackson was born and I hate myself in the pics of him during his birth. Now another baby and another bad hairstyle. It doesn't help that when I give birth I'm swollen like a hot air balloon because of the Magnesium and look horrible anyway.

So I'm sad. My hair is devestatingly awful. I feel as if I've made ppl at the Dr. office upset. I've got a headache and I cut myself badly shaving this morning. Good news is my legs aren't swollen because I've been on the couch or on the bed all day except to take a shower. Jackson has been an angel. Bad news is my BP is still up even being off my feet and I'm starving.

This whole bed rest thing is lonely. I miss mom already. It was fun having her here. I miss being around her. I know it's hard on her because she's not in her own home and with her meds and food issues it can be difficult.

I think I'm just typin everything I can think of right now. I think it's my lack of communication with the outside world. Or it's because I'm scattered. Okay, I'm running off for now. I'll try and be better at updating and staying on task. Can't let my ADD get bad during my writings.

Update as of 10/20

I know I probably should have updated things a little before now. I was finally discharged from the hospital Sunday night. I had to wait for Lee to get off of work to come and get me so I didn’t leave there until almost midnight. We finally got to Jana’s house a little before 2am.
Here is where we are at. My protein came back at 280. If it was at 300 or higher I’d still be in the hospital. Nine weeks ago it came in at 235. So a 45 increase in 9 weeks. If we can just keep the protein from increasing then that will definitely keep me out of the hospital. Problem is there isn’t a magical solution to keep it from increasing. At this point my body is in control. If it’s going to go pre-eclamptic on me I’m at it’s mercy. Thankfully though my liver and kidney functions are normal.
Mom is driving down as I type this (Monday 10/20 at 7:48pm) with the kids. She was going to get here around 1pm or so but with kids and Jackson’s accident in the bed last night she got a much later start. I can’t imagine all she has had to take on for me. I hope one day I can show her how thankful and appreciative I am. She should be just getting into Santa Rosa Beach, so not too far away. I can’t wait to see the kids!
I have a Dr.’s appt tomorrow at 10:30 with Dr. Thorpe, my high risk Dr. It just so happens that it is at the office here in Destin. I believe mom and Jackson are going with me. They will do another full blown u/s on Avery and will be checking on her heart condition. Dr. Thorpe assured me again on Sunday that everything should be fine and not to worry. I’m trying my best. Well you know what, no I’m not. I’m not worried at all to be honest. I truly believe that God is in control and whatever happens is in his plan. I can type that will total faith and honesty. I believe it.
I am also so appreciative to Jana’s parents. Mr. Krause has allowed us to stay at his house (the one Jana use to live in) for a few weeks now and we’re still here. And Mrs. Krause has been so kind and amazing. I truly do love her and think she’s great. I can’t believe that Jana and I have known each other for 13 years now. Jana’s mom has done so much for the Mackenzie over the years and truly adores both her and Jackson. She helped me out time and time again with the small things. Like the time I was so broke living off of 1100 a month with Mackenzie (and yes, rent was 410 and daycare was 480 so I was broke) and my power was turned off. She let me take all of my cold things to her fridge/freezer in her garage so they didn’t spoil over night. Man that was a long time ago.
And to be honest there are other reasons besides this pregnancy that the kids and I have been at Jana’s old house here in Destin. Lee and I are in the midst of working on some things in our marriage. The best decision I could have made was moving out for the time being. It’s not a decision I made lightly but it was the best. He is in therapy and we are in marriage counseling together. I have the upmost faith that each of us will get the guidance and counsel that we need. I pray every day that he can continually free himself from the depression and darkness that has consumed him especially since his mom’s passing almost 2 ½ years ago.
Please keep us in your prayers. Us moving out was a very very hard decision. It certainly has not made the whole hospitalization thing any easier and I know it’s been hard on Lee too. We are the only family he has left and I don’t want him to think that we’ve let him down. I do know that will counseling and prayers and God that we can work through all of this.
So that’s what I’ve inferred to a few postings back. This has not been an easy time for me even before this recent scare. I pray that the kids continue to do well and thrive. I think I hear my mom and the kids. Gotta run. Keep us all in your prayers! Lee too!

Bordem Bloggin?

Yes, I'm still in the hospital and terribly bored. I wish I had some pictures on my computer and could spruce up the pics on my blog page. But that's not going to happen. I did sleep like a baby last night though. It was great. One Ambien and a cold room later I slept wonderfully. I had to wear these supports on my legs to prevent any blood clots. They'd keep getting big with air and massaging and then go down. Barely noticed them but they were kind of nice. My sweetheart food girl came in and got my breakfast 100% perfect this morning. She always has a smile on her face. She also makes $11.85 an hour here doing this. I'm so jealous.

The Dr. on call came in this morning and my protein is at 280. My baseline before was 235. 300 is full blown pre-eclampsia. So I'm not quite there. I'm well on my way though. Goal is now to keep baby in until 36 weeks. I am 31 weeks as of to day so 5 weeks of taking it easy. Now if something significant chances in my urine, blood work, etc. then I'm fairly certain I'll be right back here at the hospital.

I have to say it's been very chaotic in my life latley but it's also really hard taking Jackson with me to all my appointments and to have my laps drawn. Thankfully my mom can help me out with that.

I talked to Jackson last night for a long time. He was very chatty. He kept thinking I'm staying here forever. I told him I wasn't and should come home in a few days but he just got upset. He finally got it through his head and started screaming and running through my parents house. It was very cute. I talked to Mackenzei too and she sounded all grown up again. I mis her like crazy. But not enough where I want her to lie down beside me with the cast on. I can just see it now be being whacked with it.

I think I might lie down to get a little more rest. I think Dr. Thorpe makes his rounds after church so I have time to take it easy. Besides I've gotta go potty realllllly badly.

Updated News

The post below this one was written this morning and emailed out to some friends and family. I meant to post it on here but did not until now. I kind of got sidetracked. Besides the fact that I was hooked up to every monitor imaginable and had to stay still so they could continue to track the babies heart beat. She's a little wiggler and continued to move all about.

Oh and I don't know if I ever officially announced the name but we're naming her Avery Reynolds Ussery. Avery is a name that Jana helped me come up with during a brain storming session and I just fell in love with it. Thankfully Lee did too. We had such a hard time coming up with names. The Reynolds is his mother's maiden name. I think her name is beautiful.

I was on the monitors until appx. 1pm today. I saw the Perinatologist and he said once they got a good reading from her heartbeat they could remove that contraption from me. Dr. Thorpe said that my blood pressure is looking better today but most of that is due to the change up in the meds. They put me on the extended release Procardia, upped my Aldomet to 4x a day and I'm still on Toprol 2x a day.

He thought my original protein labs came back at 450 or so but he couldn't find those numbers in front of me. I know they didn't. They came back at 235 and I tried to assure him of that. He said he needs to look it up. My future is riding on those past baseline labs and what my 24 hour urine labs show tonight. I should be finished w/ the 24 hr urine around 2am. Then once those labs come back if they are significantly higher I'll still need to stay here. If they are around the same then he said I have a good chance of going on home by Monday at the latest.

So long as I stay on strict bedrest and continue to monitor my BP and take my meds like my life counts on it.

I am sure I can handle this. Although part of me thinks that staying here is easier just because I am going to be so tempted to do things around the house, etc. Mom is coming back down with the kids on Monday and will stay with us. I know she will make sure I'm on good bedrest.

I don't know if I can ever find the words or if my mom will ever understand how much she means to me. My dad too. I know this is not easy for her taking over with the kids but she's doing it because she loves me and them. I feel so guilty because I believe that I have messed up everyones lives for the time being and that I've been a huge burden on them. She assured me it's not.

So mom, I love you very much. During all of this pregnancy you have truly been my one and only constant rock. You have listened to me talk to you about all of the crazy aches and pains of this pregnancy and so much more. You have heard about labor and delivery until you probably want to scream. When I was so worried about a problem here or there you listened and shared your concerns with me. When they told us the uncertain news about Avery you were there for me. Through the tears that finally spilt out and the aniexty/slight depression I felt. You were ready to drop your plans to come just be with me through out all of it. I know I've not always been the best daughter and always been there for you. I hope as an adult I have grown and matured in ways that make up for things of my youth. You are truly my best friend in this world and for that I'm greatful. Even if you didn't put your whole life on hold for me or the kids you are still an amazing mom. I am blessed that God put you in my life as my mom. Thank you.

Whew... now there are tears down my face in this cold hospital room. That was a kind of personal expression but I want everyone to know how great my mom is. My dad isn't chopped liver or anything I just can take them one at a time. A tribute to my dad is due on another day.

So tomorrow I shall find out my future. To stay or not to stay. Either way I'll keep my appt. w/ Dr. Thorpe on Tuesday and they will do the follow up ultrasound for Avery's heart. I am curious to see if it has closed up any. I know that God has her in his hands and will do what is best for her and for us. She is such a beautiful baby to me even if I have not met her. She has already touched Jackson, Mackenzie, Lee's and my life. Healthy or sickly she will be welcomed into this world with open arms and so much love. On time, a few weeks early or way too early she will be perfect for us. (Can someone PLEASE remind me of this in a few years when I'm pulling my hair out of my head?)

Oh yeah, so I got my 2nd shot today of steroids. It is so that Avery's lungs will quickly develope in case she is born early. Typically they wait until right up until you delivery to give it to you but I think the insane BP yesterday my OB felt it was best to shot me up with it. So now I've had 3 shots total (one of those was my Rhogam since I'm O-), one blown vein and an IV that's closed off for now.

I finally turned on the TV this afternoon. I watched the Vandy/Georgia game. I just watched the Alabama/Ole Miss game and to be honest didn't catch the last few mins. I think AL must've won. I took a nap from 2-5. I really needed it. I also found time to read a book. You see these nice ladies donate books for patients to read. My nurse brought me a handful after telling her I love the James Patterson type books. Oh no, these old ladies who donate books gave those Harlequin trash romance novels. I found 1 in the stack that was a Christian love story. I read it in an hour. I told her to take the rest of the "trash" back.

I told Lee to stay at home today and catch up on rest. So it's just been me here the entire time. I cannot lie it's been lonely. I'm going to see if I can escape and walk around a bit. Perhaps to the cafeteria for something to drink or eat. I've been eating like a pig. I'm lonely and bored thus the long blog.

Please still keep us in your prayers. No one is out of the woods yet.

Baby News

Well folks it seems that everything I do in life I have to do it the hard way. I had my routine Dr. appt earlier today. My blood pressure is out of control (while on 3 difference BP meds no less) and I was sent to Labor & Delivery at our local hospital for evaluation. Well it seems that even with another dose of BP meds my BP didn't want to cooperate. I was taken by ambulance this afternoon to Sacred Heart in Pensacola.

The good news is my labs came back okay for now on my kidneys and liver. If they had come back bad then I would have had a c-section tonight. I am currently 30 weeks and 6 days pregnant. They have gone ahead and given me a steroid shot to help develope our little Avery's lungs. I will receive another steroid shot tomorrow to complete it. The attending on staff is changing up my BP meds just a bit and increasing my dosages. Hopefully this will bring it down. In the meantime though it looks as if I am here to stay until I delivery Avery.

The upon post was written between 11 and 11:30 last night. Here is the rest of the updates.

So yesterday Lee took the kids and met my parents half wayto B'ham. Mackenzie is out of school on Monday and I already had plans to drive up to B'ham to take them up there for the weekend. So Lee got them up there around 5:00ish. The kids are so happy tobe with my parents. They even stopped at IHOP in Prattville for dinner.

I discouraged Lee from coming to Pensacola because I knew it would be a long drive here and an even longer one back home. I do wish I had some books to read. I'm going crazy. He was going to come over to Pensacola before he had to go to work but I told him not worry about me for now. It's a long drive and he's had a very rough few weeks. I want him to get as much rest as he can and take care of himself and work.

So here I am. I was finally given a hi risk room at 1:30 this morning. I was a little weird for a while after getting in here. I am starving but the food nurse in on a mission to find me more grits, bacon and cranberry juice.

The monitor has been picking up really strong heartbeats from Avery. Shes amazing and strong. They've also been picking up some contractions. They feel like really bad period cramps. I am thinking they are just Braxton Hicks fake contractions.

So it's quite possible that I can go home before she's born if they get my BP under control. If I do go hom I will be under major strict bedrest. No playing around. Part of me is hoping that they just keep me here because I honestly know I won't be able to stay completely still at home.

Wow, this was suppose to be a short email just letting my few friends know what's going on but I went a little further. I'm going to post this my blog and keep it updated. Need something to do while I'm couped up here. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Oh, my regular cell is shotty here so if you want to call call me on Mackenzie's cell which is 850 420 3228 or my room number is 850-416-2242 (we think, I'm in room 242 at Sacred Heart in Pecola). Right now I just wish I had some socks, slippers or shos to wear oh and a bunch of books. Other than that I'm just peachy!

Keep Avery and me in your prayers!

Life

I know I haven’t updated my blog in quite some time. I feel badly because the last post left things on kind of a low note. As of now everything is going okay with the pregnancy. My BP is still high and we still don’t know anything more with her. I go back to see the specialist on 10/21. They will do another detailed u/s to see if the hole in the heart has closed up any. I finally decided against the amnio as I didn’t want to have to go through that and no matter what happens we’ll be okay.
During my absence there have been a lot of things happening in my life. Everything has been turned upside down, spun around, and then put in the spin cycle. I think I’m still on the spin cycle to be honest. I know that everything will resolve itself and we will slowly stop spinning. I just need everyone’s prayers at this time.

I will update the blog when there have been any major developments with our new baby. Other than that I may just stay quiet. Unless I feel a hankering to come on and go off about Obama

And seriously those who are voting for Obama what are you thinking? So you’ve worked hard your entire life for what you have. It may be a lot or maybe just middle class but you’ve worked hard. Now Obama wants to “distribute the wealth” so that everyone is on the same level. Now I’m not making this up. This is a socialist view. Let’s make sure that everyone has the same amount of money, etc. Well dang I just think I’ll have Lee take a lessor paying job so we can qualify for food stamps, section 8 housing, etc. Then let Barack the socialist take those hard working American’s money and send me some. I mean what’s the motivation to work hard and make something of yourself if your money is just going to take care of those who are lazy and refuse to make something of themselves? My motivation is lost. I don’t want to support my neighbors so I’ll let them and YOU support me. Think of this on election day.