Updates

I was finally discharged from the hospital yesterday. Avery is still in the NICU and it was so hard to say goodbye to her when we left. Yesterday morning when I went to visit her the head neonatologist was asking if anyone wanted to be transferred closer to their home. They were picking up other newborns from the Panama City area that required a Level 3 NICU and Sacred Heart is the only hospital in the area that has one. When they do a run such as this they will do courtesy transfers to the hospitals in Fort Walton Beach and Panama City that have a Level 2 NICU like Avery is in. I volunteered so that Avery could be in Fort Walton Beach and be closer to us.

Avery was transferred this morning along with a little boy. They arrived at 11:30am at Fort Walton Beach Medical Center. I called to check on her a little after noon and they had already started her feeding. Actually she was suppose to eat at 11 but because of the drive she didn't eat until noon. So her feeding schedule is at 12, 3, 6 and 9.

Okay, so back to yesterday. Coming home was such a depressing experience. Mackenzie and Jackson were and are still with my parents here in Destin. I hadn't seen them since the day I had Avery and I miss them so much. On top of that I walked into our bedroom to the bassinet sitting there empty and all of the other baby things that Lee had set out while I was in the hospital. We got home at 4:30 and I didn't leave the bed until this morning around 10. I just laid here and cried and cried last night. I just missed my babies. Lee tried to remind me that I should enjoy the peace and quiet and take care of my body so it can heal and before I know it I will have 3 kids up under me. He is right but it's something a mother feels.

So today we went to the hotel my parents are staying at and I saw Jackson! Oh he was such a wonderful sight. Man how I missed my little man. He was showing off his dance moves and was just bouncing around the room. I asked for a kiss and he told me later. That little booger. We sat and talked to my mom and dad for a bit and then we all went and ate at Cracker Barrel. It was the first meal I had had since yesterday's lunch. I took it easy and got a grilled chicken tenderloin sandwich. Yum yum.

When we got finished there mom, Lee and I went to the hospital to see Avery. I rode over with mom so she and I could talk. She has truly been a saint and so wonderful the past few weeks. She has sacrificed not only money but her time and energy. She hasn't complained once when I know it can be taxing on her. She has been so truly selfless and even though I've worried about her taking them on and missed them so she's been so calming to me about it. She knows how much I worry about burdening her and she's just been so gracious. I know she wouldn't have it any other way but it's a wonderful gift.

It was funny on the ride over there because we were talking about the time they were there at the hosptial. The fact that I don't remember much is almost sad but it provides a few laughs. I was so out of it that it's almost embarassing. Apparently I'd repeat what she'd tell me to Lee but add a major twist to it that he'd call them to make sure what I said was right and of course I was wrong. I apparently spoke in a soft voice and made no sense whatsoever. I still feel badly about the early morning phone calls I made to Brad, Jessica and Leigh.

I digress.

We get to the hospital and go up to see Avery. Lee and I went in first. There she was so small and tiny. So adorable. Her nurse, Pam, went over things with me. She is up to 4lbs 4ozs so a little less and an ounce over her birth weight which is good. She's grown taller too, a whole 17.5 inches. I spoke to their head neonatalogist and he said that Avery looks very good. He increased her feeding by 10cc. He said in his opinion he thinks that she will be home in a week. Part of me thinks that is very ambitious but we will see. Lee left after 15 mins or so and had to head out to talk to someone about a job in Birmingham (that's for another post).

Oh and while we were talking to the nurse we found out that both Jackson and Mackenzie could come in a visit with Avery!!!!! They both had to be healthy and not sick and scrub for 2 minutes but it was such a wonderful blessing. They were not allowed to visit at Sacred Heart. To me this really helps the entire family. The siblings can be apart of things and see their new baby sister. It is exciting for them and seeing their faces and reactions for the first time today was one of the most amazing moments I've been apart of.

Okay, so when mom came in I was in the middle of changing her poopy diaper. It was more poop than I'd seen her do before. It was so much that some got on her outfit. I have to admit it was a little exciting because I got to change her and that mean seeing all of her little bitty body. I wait to put on the long sleeve/footed outfit until mom got in there. I wanted her to be able to see her chicken legs too. Man she's so tiny. Pretty much no fat on her at this time. Although I can tell her cheeks are getting a little fat to them. It was time for her feeding, through the tube, and I let mom hold her for it. Mom was just a talking to her and Avery was so alert for quite some time. She kept looking at mom and it was so sweet. It was really cute to hear what she was saying to her. Mom told her that she'll look so different in a week and 2 days when she sees her again. Which in all honesty is probably true. They change so fast.

After her feeding dad and the kids arrived at the hospital. Dad brought Mackenzie in and it took my breath away seeing her. I forgot how tall and beautiful she is. She finished washing her hands first and got to see her before dad did. She had her eyes so wide and looks at her and says "she is so beautiful" in the sweetest most loving way. She sat down in the chair and she held Avery. I have to say it did not last long at all. She told me to take her because she weighed too much. "she's heavier than a million books" is the other way she expressed the heaviness of her 4lb sister. Then Avery was passed on to dad. He got his high pitched voice going as he did with Mackenzie and Jackson. It is something people around Taylor Road noticed once Mackenzie was born. I think she just opened up one eye for him. It is something Mackenzie remembers well.

Then it was Jackson's turn. I think he was the most excited of the two of them. He barely could contain himself. He came up to her and asked me twice where's Avery. She was in my hands but he thought she was a doll. She was in all those blankets and her face was so perfect looking even with the tape on her face holding the feeding tube. Then I showed him her breathing and it finally clicked. He kept talking to her and saying "Hey Avery it's me, Jackson" over and over again. He got upset for a moment when she wouldn't talk back to him. We had to explain that babies don't talk. At one point I put my hands above her forhead to see if she would open her eyes. He told me to make her open them. Thank goodness she did! Then in the sweetest voice he began singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to her. The same song he sang to her while she was in my belly. I had tears in my eyes. It was truly a wonderful moment.

Today has been a very exhausting day but has been so wonderful. My family has finally all met each other. My two precious children were angels while meeting their newest sibling. My parents were so great to see and talk to. I finally didn't feel so empty any more. It has been decided that Mackenzie is going to my parents after school tomorrow to spend her Thanksgiving week. Jackson is going to stay here with us. I just couldn't bear to be away from both of them any more and she wanted to go to my parents. In all honesty it's easier handling just one at a time and I think it's best to reintroduce the kids one by one. Especially after seeing the two of them rile each other up tonight at the hotel. Man it's out of control.

Mackenzie has her play tomorrow at school and after it's over we'll get Jackson from my parents. This is my last night of quiet and a chance to get a good nights rest. I've taken my motrin, percocet, iron and antibiotic for the night. I should sleep well. I just know that being at her school by 9 is going to be hard. It takes me so much longer to get ready now that I'm slow to move around.

So this is what's going on. Miss Avery is still in the NICU and one of my kids is coming home tomorrow. I'll post pictures of the kids and Avery later.