Our Visit with Avery

I had such a good visit with Avery today. We got there right at 3 and when we walked in the nurse said she was awake and looking around. I washed up first and went in while Jackson and Lee washed up. I went over to her and she was just looking all around. I took 2 pictures of her because I was so excited she finally had her eyes open. Jackson came and sat on a tall chair so he could see her. He was super excited. I was changing her diaper and he's just a talking to her. Of course when I changed it she ended up pooping in the middle of it. It reminded me of Jackson.

I then held her up so he could look right at her. He of course sang his song to her and she loved it I'm sure. I know I did. Dr. Ladd came over and introduced herself to Lee. She then tried talking to Jackson but he'd having nothing to do with her. I then took her temperature and it was just fine. I took my time though with her. I made the diaper change and temp reading last a long time. I was trying to savor the time I had with her. I also wanted Jackson to see as much of her awake as I could. Alas, she would not let me delay the feeding anymore.

Jackson and Lee left to go play at McDonald's while I tried feeding her. Dr. Ladd came over and showed me a certain way to hold her to help her eat which was a very strange position but I had seen other babies in the NICU being feed like this. She also showed me how to hold the bottle and put my ring finger under her chin. Using this finger to slowly push her chin up to help encourage her to suck on the bottle. She would start sucking and then stop. It was an on going game for us. After 10 minutes she took 10cc which they said was good. I tried burping her. You can't throw premies over your shoulder but instead you have to have them on your leg semi sitting up and "beat" their back. Apparently my touch wasn't hard enough. Dr. Ladd came over to show me how do burp her. She said my pats were too comforting. She finally let out a tiny burp for her.

I then started feeding her again. She ended up eating a total of 17cc for me which they said was really good. Dr. Ladd said she could see her responding to me with her body movements. Not sure exactly what that means but I guess it's good. It was just the first time she was this awake. It was so wonderful. While I was waiting for someone to put the rest of the food in her feeding tube I decided to check her diaper. I thought I smelled something. Sure enough she had pooped and a lot! It was really gross but I have to admit I love changing her diapers. It's really the only time I can see and touch her legs and tummy. I'm sure after a while I will get tired of changing diapers again.

I held her while she had the rest of her food through her tube. I just sat there looking at her eyes and talking to her. I told her that her brother wanted to trade her for a dog on the way over to the hospital. I'm sure she wasn't too happy about that. After her feeding they swaddled her up for me and I just held her. She finally drifted off to sleep. Her tummy all full and hopefully dreaming of her mommy who loves her so much.

It just kills me to leave her there. It's not easy making the drive either. It took us a little under an hour yesterday to get there. It's tiring and trying. I do it out of love for her. So I just pray that I can keep up with everything and keep my energy and strength.

*** I took these two pictures when I first got there. I was just so excited to see her awake!