A Tad Frustrated

I'm not sure what I think about the neonatologist on duty this week. He is Indian (the dot dot kind not the rain dance kind) and is all business. I am sure he is doing what is best for Avery but it's harder for me to mesh with him because of his personality. I went up and saw Avery yesterday and was there for a little over 3 hours. I talked to the nurses about her feedings and she had taken 35 and 33cc the two feedings before I came and those are after he let her feed with a bottle every time. He told me the minimum she had to take was 30cc what he failed to tell me on the phone is that before she can come home she has to take 45cc by bottle each feeding.

This is very frustrating to me. I know he knows what's best for her but I feel as if every time I turn around she's gaining so much weight that her feeds have to be increased cc wise. I don't know if she can keep up with that. She's already hovering around 5lbs. So now have I have no clue when she might come home. I can't even put an estimate on it. I feel as if I'm going to scream my head off. I just want her to come home. I am so tired of going to the hospital and holding this precious angel and then kissing her and putting her back in her bed and leaving her. It breaks my heart every time.