Rainy Weather

This whole sitting in the house with my feet up is driving me batty. It doesn't help it that it's been raining almost non-stop since yesterday. We woke up this morning and it's still pouring down rain. It almost creates a depressive type feeling. Or one that there is no room for motivation. I guess it's driving me nuts knowing I'm not suppose to do a darn thing. That goes against everything in me.

The kids and I are moving back home tomorrow. I don't know if it will be forever or for a few nights. There is a man coming to stay at Jana's house on Sunday night and we needed to leave for the night. I have to admit I'm ready to be back in my own house, but I am very hesitant about going back home. I do not know how things are going to be with Lee. We talked about it in therapy on Wednesday and I think it should all be fine but it's hard to leap back into things. I know that he done a 180 with the things that needed to be put down. The good thing is if we need to leave again we always can.

I know he is trying very hard to get past his depression and he's stopped the drinking and the excess medication. I know that his individual therapy and our joint therapy is doing him some good. When we see him it's seeing him with clear eyes. No meds making him cloudy and distant. He's off work right now cleaning the house to get it ready for us. Apparently he absolutely destroyed the house further while we were gone. I'm not looking forward to going home to a dirty house. He and I both know that so he's working hard. I guess I'm frustrated because so many things I've wanted done or help with for months now he's only now getting around to. He was so out of things and reality that he couldn't think straight or get it.

I havebeen telling him for 3 months now that more than likely I would be on bed rest and have problems with this pregnancy too. I kept counting down to when I thought it might occur. I told him we needed to have certain things done and prepared for by then. Major thing being our garage and things being boxed up and all organized. I need major organization in my life right now. He's on vacation next week and promises that everything I wanted done will be done. All I can say is it better be.

Wow, that last statement made me sound like a cold mean person. I'm not, I've put up with so much or the lack of so much from him for so long now that things have to change now or never. I'm off to take a shower and cry some more about my horrible haircut. Oh and I've got to call Dr. Lile's office. Yeah, my Dr. still hasn't faxed my records over yet. I'm not having a good day.