Shhhhhh... It's suppose to be a secret

Okay, those of you who know me, truly know me, know it is hard for me to keep a secret. If it was someone else’s secret or something I was told in confidence I wouldn’t break it. However, this is my secret I’m trying to hold in. It’s not an easy task. I need duct tape. I thought it over and decided that if I’m not suppose to tell someone then typing it might not be the same. Perhaps I can type it and it’s okay. Or maybe I am just trying to justify getting it out of my system. Either way I’m going to spill the beans.

Sunday we found out that we are expecting again. This was NOT planned in any way. I did however feel that our actions resulted in a pregnancy the day it happened. I don’t know why but I did. I just knew it. Now there are several reasons Lee wanted me to keep my mouth shut. For one we had the miscarriage in December and we want to wait and see if this is going to even “stick”. The other reason is my health. With all of the problems I have encountered the past few weeks this situation is not ideal. I am though excited.

I definitely think that this one is going to make it. I have already started feeling the symptoms of pregnancy. It’s not like the miscarriage pregnancy and how I felt so different than before. I didn’t really experience any symptoms, except I just couldn’t stop eating. This time I’ve had the most horrific heartburn. I had it with the others. That is one thing that confirmed my suspicions. The other being the 2 positive pregnancy tests. I had really decided I didn’t want anymore, but maybe in the back of my head I did. I am so excited about this. I do wish my health was better but I cannot wait for this baby.

When I told Lee he was very scared. He doesn’t want anything happening to me. He wants to make sure I stay healthy. He’s also worried that this pregnancy might not make it. I already have an OB appointment scheduled for Friday. They are going to start testing all of my levels, etc. to make sure that the baby is growing properly and it’s not ectopic. I don’t mind being stuck this time. I’m feeling really good about it. I could be setting myself up for disappointment but I’m trying to stay positive.

My due date is December 21st which is also Jackson’s birthday. I figure with my track record of early inductions that it will be born around my mom and mother-in-laws birthdays. It’ll be a Thanksgiving baby probably. So the way I figure it I only have 32 weeks left. I’m ready to get this baby growing and out of me. I guess I didn’t realize how much I can’t wait to hold another baby in my arms. To nurture and love the baby. The bottles and middle of the night feedings aren’t the easiest part but are oh so wonderful. The sweet baby smell. The awful spit up smells. The peeing while bathing and shooting into the hallway (if it’s a boy, mom and I had an interesting experience once).

So I’m pregnant. Please keep us in your prayers. Please pray that our baby will be healthy and that my body will endure the pregnancy without any adverse effects on either of us. Okay, I spilled the beans. How could he really expect me to keep this quiet?