The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I've finally got some good news on the job front. I can't remember if I wrote this before or not but I decided not to take the other job. Too many reasons why but the clincher was going over w/ the attorney whose job I was taking and she obiously hated working w/ the attorney. I could get a feel for the same feelings after seeing his notes and memorandums, etc. Besides that his mom and his sister work in the office along w/ just one other. Yeah, I don't think it's a good fit for me.

On a positive note though I got my salary back, cell phone reimbursement and bonuses! I was really po'd on Monday when I emailed B., my regional manager, about my bonuses for December and I wanted to make sure they'd show up on my Jan. 15th paycheck. He emailed me back saying he didn't know what I was talking about and that I only get paid xx.xx per file that closes that I brought in. Oh no, I don't think so. I ofcourse still had the email he had sent me when he cut my salary and confirming the bonus structure but I didn't want to send it to him just yet. I responded back that I've never been paid based on what I bring in but paid on everything that closes. In addition you promised me xxxxx. I didn't hear back so I fwd him the email he sent to me w/ the terms of my salary that he changed. Of course I got a response back how he forgot and thanking me for keeping that email. Whatever buddy. You were going to try to get out of paying.

Anyhoo I called our B.O., our marketer, in the meantime to get his advice on what he would do in my situation. He knows how upset I've been, etc. After everything was already resolved w/ the bonuses he called B. and told him how great I am and he can't work w/out me and that all the clients rave about me, etc. Then he called J., the owner of the company, and told him the same thing and I guess lead in to how I've not been happy w/ things. So J. called me yesterday and I was very honest w/ him. I told him I didn't trust the company, etc. and didn't believe one word that B. ever says. To make a long story short K., the president of the company, is coming down in 2 weeks (yeah, they all forgot to tell me before now) and they are opening offices in Biloxi-Mobile and up through Panama City. They want me to be the regional operations manager for them since that is my strong hold. I didn't expect that at all, well I didn't expect them to be opening up those offices. I'll handle the panhandle offices.

Not to pat myself on the back but J. said it and so will I. I am great at managing and leading offices and helping to get offices off of the ground. I know it will be a tough task but a good one. I've also been told that I'm doing way more than one person should ever have to handle alone and that I'm doing great at it. I am though having to use another office to help me out. It's not easy turning things over but I am sending what I know I need to for their help.

Business is freaking out of control. It's the most insane thing I've ever seen. I've gotten in 24 orders in 7 days and 35 orders last month. Yeah, just a little crazy. I know I can do it though. It's just a matter of having my sanity left.

Totally not work related... I am in a quandry. I can't go into detail and I won't but I've got a lot on my mind. Something has hurt me deeply and I honestly don't know how to convey it. I feel sick to my stomach. I seriously want to throw up. Tears have been shed and I can't vocalize it, not to anyone. I don't know if it can be fixed. I don't know what to do. Do we ever really know what's right?