"Why I Wore Lipstick to My Masectomy"

What a wonderful movie. It is a movie based on a book by Geralyn Lucas who was 27 years old when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I don't ever watch Lifetime movies anymore but was flipping threw and it caught my eye. I am so glad it did. It's been very moving. I've since pulled her story up on the internet. I want to go out and buy her book tomorrow. She is now 37 and has a 5 year old daughter. I think that's so wonderful because she didn't think she'd ever have a baby. Such a moving movie. It comes on again on Sunday. I highly recommend watching it.

Today was not a wonderful day at work. I am having to deal with this guy who has no freaking clue how things really are. Yes, he has extensive mortgage experience. Yes, he has owned a mortgage company. What he doesn't quite get at this point is he is not in the mortgage business any more. He doesn't own his own company any more. He won't always get a "yes" response from everyone he approaches. The market and business in Destin is a lot different than what he is use to. I am troubled at the tone he has used towards me and Bonnie. I am also disturbed at how he can sit there and tell both of us that since he personally didn't bring in xx amount of clients he doesn't feel right taking a paycheck. He set a goal, blah blah blah and he didn't meet it so he feels like he shouldn't be paid unless he meets his goal, etc. I am looking at him in disbelief trying to figure out exactly what he is trying to say. The tone he used felt as if he was saying we shouldn't expect to be paid either and feel right taking paychecks if the goals aren't met. Bonnie and I both felt the tone from him. I'm sorry but his goals are not my goals. I am the operations manager and not the marketing director. I am paid not based on what I bring in but based on my competency in the office and taking care of the operation side of things. I ensure that all loans are closed in compliance, title is cleaned up, issuing policies, cutting checks, reconciling bank statements, handling the bills. All operational things. Marketing and production is not in my job description. I have gone above and beyond what I am even suppose to do to help him out. I have compiled database after database for him so he doesn't have to. I am even going to re-enter everything I put into the first database because he gave me the wrong disk for the database program he insisted on me using. I knew that I should be using MS Access, but he didn't listen or pay attention when I told im that's not the disk he gave me. Of course today after inputting all of his data he tells me he gave me the wrong program. So tomorrow I will update everything. Not because I have to but because I AM a team player. I want to help. I want him to succeed with his business. If he succeeds then I succeed. Bottom line is I don't ever want him to ever make me feel that if his goals are not met that I shouldn't accept a paycheck. I have not owned my own company and made millons of dollars. I am 26 years old and not pushing 50 like he is. I am not to be talked down to. I should be shown the same respect I show him. Okay. I'm done w/ the work vent.

I just saw the end of the movie and it had the real Geralyn Lucas on there. Not only does she have a daughter but she just had a boy earlier this year. How great is that? The movie really moved me. I think because it was real, raw and is something that can hit home.

I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day. I am sure it will be. I'm going to dress myself in something that makes me feel pretty, put on my makeup and be sassy. Feel good about myself. It's funny but certain outfits can make me feel so great. You put it on and you feel pretty or just good about yourself. I need more outfits like that. I need some warmer clothes. I hate shopping though. The styles in stores right now are just not my idea of style. I like browns and blacks and more conservative clothes. I just can't get into the outrageous looking clothes. I need a new pair of boots. I love wearing my favorite pair of jeans and boots in the winter. The boots help me look a little taller and my legs a little longer. I need all the help I can get in the height department. What's the deal with all of the shorties? Eileen 5'1 and Mary 4'11. I think the biological grandmothers helped curse my height.

Well I'm off to go to bed.